The last thing that made you laugh

[Nisk]

Back to the funny

So me and a guy I work with named Stan (an avid bird watcher) are doing a job when he decided to tell me about the rarest bird he's ever seen called the Ono bird. He tells me theres something particularly special about these birds. There testicles are 8 inches long and there feet are only 6 inches long. They like to live near the airport and anytime they come in for a landing all you can hear is they're distinct bird call "oh no, oh no, oh no" and so he explains that's why they're called the Ono bird.

I was told this joke by one of the funniest people I know and I probably didn't do it near the justice it deserves but it's one of my favorite jokes.

 

[Mia]

Snake 1: ‘Are we poisonous?’
Snake 2: ‘I don’t know, why?’
Snake 1: ‘I just bit my lip.’

 

[ancusmitis]

What makes me laugh is the number of people on the internet who complain about the fact that other people complain.

 

[SignOfLazarus]

Wow, guys.

 

[Mia]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

[ancusmitis]

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

You win the internet

 

[RidingDutchman]

I stumbled onto this on Facebook and it was too golden not to share, even though language barrier.
I mean, not everybody can be smart but this is a bit of a new level of stupid xD

Translation:
"Presuming salmon would be meat, it turned out to contain fish.
I can't eat it due to a fish allergy, I will give it to one of the first 22 to respond."

 

[AGXStarseed]

I was watching Free Willy the other day and it got to the point near the end where Jesse releases Willy back into the water - only for Willy's path to freedom been blocked by a net that stretches 20ft underwater - preventing him from swimming away.
As such, it leads to the climax that has been printed on posters and VHS/DVD covers as well as having been satirized heaven knows how many times; Willy jumps over a rock wall (and over Jesse) to freedom and reunites with his family.

(Cut out the star wars stuff and you have the ending here)

The thing that bugs me about this though is that if Willy could jump over several feet of rock, then why couldn't he jump over the net?!

 

[RidingDutchman]

The thing that bugs me about this though is that if Willy could jump over several feet of rock, then why couldn't he jump over the net?!

Because movies, why make sense it you can be cool?

It's one of the reasons I can't watch movies because stuff like this bothers me way more as it should xD

 

[AGXStarseed]

Because movies, why make sense it you can be cool?

It's one of the reasons I can't watch movies because stuff like this bothers me way more as it should xD

Very true. It's like in stories, on TV shows or in movies where they have a psychic character who can predict the future, see things by touching objects or read minds, yet their ability seems to have moments where it's none-existent - often at the worst times.

I suppose maybe state-of-mind, stress, emotions, having to deal with negative people/non-believers or maybe a combination of those factors might have some responsibility in causing a psychic's powers to go wild or fail completely, but the reason why a psychic's powers fail in these things is rarely explained and it bothers me.

 

[RidingDutchman]

Very true. It's like in stories, on TV shows or in movies where they a psychic character who can predict the future or read minds, yet their ability seems to have moments where it's none-existent - often at the worst times.

I suppose maybe state-of-mind, stress and emotions might have some responsibility in causing a psychic's powers to go wild or fail completely, but the reason why a psychic's powers fail in these things is rarely explained and it bugs me.

Or like how well trained soldiers miss everything
How guns never seem to reload when they should be out of ammo
How cars seem to have 25 gears
How some things don't get explained or go against the logic in the movie for cool factor (Michael Baye, I'm looking at you)
How stuff gets jammed in at the end just to add the option for a part two.
How the protagonist seems oblivious for the obvious answer to things
Don't get me started on all the crap they make the antagonist do (explain motives, seem almighty at first but suddenly very easy to defeat at the end)
Etc.
I think way too much when watching movies :3

 

[Ste11aeres]

Back to the funny

So me and a guy I work with named Stan (an avid bird watcher) are doing a job when he decided to tell me about the rarest bird he's ever seen called the Ono bird. He tells me theres something particularly special about these birds. There testicles are 8 inches long and there feet are only 6 inches long. They like to live near the airport and anytime they come in for a landing all you can hear is they're distinct bird call "oh no, oh no, oh no" and so he explains that's why they're called the Ono bird.

I was told this joke by one of the funniest people I know and I probably didn't do it near the justice it deserves but it's one of my favorite jokes.

I don't get it. Maybe with time, I will.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Or like how well trained soldiers miss everything

Well trained soldiers miss everything, but the hero hits everything.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Moderator here: Let's use this thread for its original purpose: that is, posting and writing things that make us laugh (or smile). If you don't know what I'm talking about, most of the posts I'm referring to have been deleted.

 

[tree]

I don't get it. Maybe with time, I will.

Ummm.....really?

It would be like a male rat (their testes are huge in proportion to their bodies,
and they drag them across anything they walk on.) And if a bird had testicles
8 inches long but his feet [and I figure the joke teller meant LEGS] are only 6
inches long, then he would be dragging his tender manly parts across the
rough runway. That would be painful and the bird's cry would give rise to his
name: Ono...[oh no oh no oh no]

@Ste11areres
I hope you were serious about not getting the joke.
Because I just explained it, as if you didn't. Which
makes for joke on me, if you were just kidding...

Or maybe I missed the point altogether. That's not
impossible.

 

[tree]

Moderator here: Let's use this thread for its original purpose: that is, posting and writing things that make us laugh (or smile). If you don't know what I'm talking about, most of the posts I'm referring to have been deleted.

Last night I started to ask whether the topic of
this thread had changed. Because I did think it
was supposed to be about stuff that was
funny/amusing. Humor.

Then one saving item got posted and I thought that
was the end of whatever non-funny business was taking
place.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Ummm.....really?

It would be like a male rat (their testes are huge in proportion to their bodies,
and they drag them across anything they walk on.) And if a bird had testicles
8 inches long but his feet [and I figure the joke teller meant LEGS] are only 6
inches long, then he would be dragging his tender manly parts across the
rough runway. That would be painful and the bird's cry would give rise to his
name: Ono...[oh no oh no oh no]

@Ste11areres
I hope you were serious about not getting the joke.
Because I just explained it, as if you didn't. Which
makes for joke on me, if you were just kidding...

Or maybe I missed the point altogether. That's not
impossible.

I was serious about not getting it
With rats, yes, it's also that their legs are very short, they almost just have feet coming directly out of their bodies.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I was serious about not getting it

I was probably thrown off by the word "feet" instead of "legs", and by the fact that birds have internal testicles.

 

[ancusmitis]

I was probably thrown off by the word "feet" instead of "legs", and by the fact that birds have internal testicles.

Funny how we think of the mammalian uro-genital tract as "normal" even though it's actually fairly unusual. Paratherians have a cloaca, and for this they are called "monotremes" as if that were diagnostic of the clade. In fact, most terrestrial vertebrates have a cloaca. Even weirder are human boobs, which remain fully enlarged at all times after puberty. In other mammals, the only time they enlarge is the same times that humans produce milk. Humans are also unusual among mammals in that they completely lack a bacculum (penis bone). It's reduced in size for chimpanzees, but they still have one. Is it weird that I know this?

 

[RidingDutchman]

Is it weird that I know this?

It made me laugh how, for a second I thought this was a common knowledge thing, and then I remembered I tend to know weird stuff as well xD