The last thing that made you laugh

[ancusmitis]

Well...I was just reading about some of the sexual organs possessed by certain insects. Such as one (I forget the name) where the female is the one with the penetrative organ. I don't remember the name of the organ, either. Like a penis, it penetrates, but unlike a penis, it sucks up sperm, instead of expelling it.

I don't really like to think about arthropods reproducing. There's ones that I like to eat (crab, shrimp) but that's as far as it goes.

Slugs are kind of interesting, though. They are true hermaphrodites. When mating, they each extrude the penis and try to penetrate the other. First one to get it in there is the daddy.

 

[AGXStarseed]

Some men like going to strip clubs. Personally, I've never gone and I never will.
Seriously, men go into those clubs and pay good money just to drool over something they can't have. That's like you going into a bakery, paying for some buns and cakes you want and the woman behind the counter saying "You want these? You can't have them!"
Put simply, you'd be ticked off.

Besides, things like strip clubs only bring out some of a man's worse behaviors. When they're standing there drooling over the woman dancing and going round, they don't see her as a woman; they see her as a bit of meat on a pole.
It's quite ironic as later they'll go to a kebab shop and do exactly the same thing; standing there and drooling as they watch that piece of meat going round on a bloomin' pole!

 

[AGXStarseed]

The bit at the beginning of this video is actually quite sad - many of us can emphasize with this guy for what he says during his rant. The review is quite funny as well.

Nostalgia Critic - Scooby Doo

 

[AsheSkyler]

So long as nether bits are being discussed, I reckon now is a good time to mention Robin Williams.

It should go without saying the video is NSFW. The rest of his Weapons Of Self Destruction is pretty good too. I want a Scottish GPS. Like being able to talk with my great-great-great-great-great granny I'd imagine.

Funny how we think of the mammalian uro-genital tract as "normal" even though it's actually fairly unusual. Paratherians have a cloaca, and for this they are called "monotremes" as if that were diagnostic of the clade. In fact, most terrestrial vertebrates have a cloaca. Even weirder are human boobs, which remain fully enlarged at all times after puberty. In other mammals, the only time they enlarge is the same times that humans produce milk. Humans are also unusual among mammals in that they completely lack a bacculum (penis bone). It's reduced in size for chimpanzees, but they still have one. Is it weird that I know this?

Well, if it'll make you feel better...

Accompanying the penile bone in males is the clitoral bone in females. Echidna has four penises and uses two per copulation. Monotremes, hoofed critters, marsupials, whales, and dolphins also use the "hydraulic/collapsible" system instead of the "retractile" system. Cats have little barbs like a French tickler. Male dogs swell at the tip and the females clamp down to create the "locking up" effect. Octopi and other cephalopods have one arm dedicated to delivering sperm. Dragonflies are ridiculously complex and scientists have no idea how it works, or so last I read.

The sad part is that genitalia isn't even one of my special interests, it's just a byproduct of my biology research. And personally I say "hung like an elephant" trumps "hung like a horse". Most frightening nature documentary I ever watched...

"Don't try to out-weird me, I get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal!"
Unless you knew all that stuff to begin with plus some, then you may use the quote on me instead.

 

[ancusmitis]

@AsheSkyler
Nah, you win, haha. Although I already knew about the bulbus glandis (and not all canines have it, but red foxes do, and so do wolves) and feline barbs. But the rest is news

 

[Nisk]

Oh I sense an aspie fact-off. Simple based off testicle knowledge. This could get exciting.....

 

[aggogirlz]

This

 

[AGXStarseed]

How does a man know when he's growing old?
Comes on you all of a sudden, you know. A man has to realize that he's growing old - little things tell him.
A man's life is like a long journey, and during his lifetime a man has to travel so many weary miles; down lanes, crossing plains, climbing mountains and fording rivers.
And all the time during his life, a man is searching; he is searching for...the truth.

Then one day, everything starts to click: Your neck, your back, your knees, your elbows.
If you fall out of bed in the morning, you sound like a maraca band.

You get no sympathy when you're not well.
Boss: "You're not going to be off work, are you?"

A man has to realize that he's not as young as he used to was. In the Autumn of his life, there are signs of course that tell him:

• You get out of breath playing chess.
• Your wedding suit comes back into fashion.
• You have to use both hands to clean your teeth.

Oh, you still chase after girls...but you can't remember why!
And your wife doesn't mind you chasing after girls, because as she says, "our dog chases after cars and he can't drive".

You wake up one morning and find you've got a bald headed son.
Your wife makes you wear dark trousers when you go out, and when you do go out people start helping you onto the bus...when you've just got off the blasted thing!


Now, Ladies...
Ladies never get old, do you girls? Even though I can't see you, I know you look so beautiful, and you always will; Ladies are always beautiful.

But...you'll know that knocking on just a bit, because at Christmas time everyone gives you Lavender bath cubes, and your family start taking you home early from parties.

Grandson: "You've got to go home now, Gran".
You: "I'd like a snowball".
Grandson: "No, you might hurt someone. Come along, Gran, you've got a big day tomorrow - You're having your feet done".

 

[Vinca]

(this isn't true of me, I don't know enough about grammar to correct it, but it did make me chuckle)

 

[AGXStarseed]

I was watching TV earlier and saw one of those adverts about how the Jaguar is endangered and to send money to help preserve it.
Personally, I don't understand the point of these adverts as nowadays, most people don't really react to something unless it affects them. For example, how is the fact the Jaguar is dying out due to deforestation affecting some bloke who's living on a council estate in East London?


It would have to be something like this:

TV Voiceover: "There are only six cod fillets left in the sea..."
Man: ..."Crap, what will I have with my chips?!"

Later...

Man: *On the phone* "Hello? Yes - I'd like to adopt and be a pen pal to a large Cod please...I refuse to let it be extinct until I eat it".

 

[Vinca]

 

[AGXStarseed]

 

[Nitro]

 

[AGXStarseed]

This would be great to do.

 

[wyverary]

The fact that I just witnessed a pedantic and fascinating discussion on the anatomical minutiae of genitalia in the animal kingdom.

 

[Nitro]

Three of us were witnesses to ground mole copulation a few years back.
At first,we thought they were fighting until we saw the actual act. It was funny as all get out and it wasn't a two pump chump event as it lasted for about ten minutes.

 

[AsheSkyler]

This is why I try to stay out of the sex threads. Because once there is even a hint of the discussion straying into tricks and tips, it all goes down from there.

But I post clean stuff too! Beware ye gangstas of the ranch grannies.

And pictures of puppies:

Nah, you win, haha. Although I already knew about the bulbus glandis (and not all canines have it, but red foxes do, and so do wolves) and feline barbs. But the rest is news

Neat! I'm never sure where foxes rank against canines since technically they are vulpines. When I was a kid, I thought they were what happened when you crossed a cat and a dog.

Oh I sense an aspie fact-off. Simple based off testicle knowledge. This could get exciting.....

I sense an innuendo in there somewhere...

Speaking of which, caution in ordering Rocky Mountain Oysters. They're not oysters, but I hear they're good eatin'.

 

[AGXStarseed]

Some classic Simpsons moment:

 

[Mia]

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."

 

[ancusmitis]

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."

That's funny. Of course in English, double negatives usually are negatives. There is an ancient style of stating something by negating the opposite of it that you see in Virgil's Aeneid, for example, but it's very rare in Modern English.