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Things that sabotaged me in terms of romance and more

Rodafina said:
@Markness

Now, how about a list of 5 strengths or instances of resilience? Only seeing the negatives does not paint the whole picture. It may be helpful for you to practice noticing strengths and positives.
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1. Telling my mother that I don’t shame her for what she wears so she shouldn’t shame me for wearing a dragon necklace.

2. My first and only real girlfriend didn’t care that I wasn’t an “Alpha Male” and liked me for who I was.

3. Pointing out a bully’s stutter after he mocked my own as well as my receding hairline.

4. The first time I drove to Austin on my own.

5. The time I drove two hours to visit my grandfather.
 
I didn’t have negative perceptions about the area I live in until the 11th grade.
 
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Despite all these frustrating barriers, Markness, one thing that is beautiful in our world is all the possibilities. Find hobbies and conventions to attend. Just focus on having fun and looking for people that are fun to hang around. So and so can have their own social spotlight, and you can find your own space that doesn't need to be with a lot of people.
 
Markness said:
1. Telling my mother that I don’t shame her for what she wears so she shouldn’t shame me for wearing a dragon necklace.

2. My first and only real girlfriend didn’t care that I wasn’t an “Alpha Male” and liked me for who I was.

3. Pointing out a bully’s stutter after he mocked my own as well as my receding hairline.

4. The first time I drove to Austin on my own.

5. The time I drove two hours to visit my grandfather.
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You seem to have made a lot of progress lately. What is behind that?
 
jsilver256 said:
You seem to have made a lot of progress lately. What is behind that?
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I honestly still feel stuck because I still haven't gotten a date. I am just really sick of my mother's psychological and emotional abuse to me so I am not going to take it anymore.
 
Markness said:
I honestly still feel stuck because I still haven't gotten a date. I am just really sick of my mother's psychological and emotional abuse to me so I am not going to take it anymore.
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Is your Mom abusive or is she run down tired nurturere with unconditional love and testosterone receptors seem blinded by this and therefore blame women for all their problems.
Indian traditional is to give first paycheque to mother, in respect of all her hidden medals of honour and of course flowers or some way recognising father's day is one day long, but mother's day should we weeks paid vacation.
 
Kayla55 said:
Is your Mom abusive or is she run down tired nurturere with unconditional love and testosterone receptors seem blinded by this and therefore blame women for all their problems.
Indian traditional is to give first paycheque to mother, in respect of all her hidden medals of honour and of course flowers or some way recognising father's day is one day long, but mother's day should we weeks paid vacation.
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I would say she is indeed abusive. She’s very controlling and manipulative even if she doesn’t realize it. She’s even admitted to being a control freak and assumes the worst in others.
 
It may be useful to see romance as a transaction to better understand it.

You are selling a product (yourself) to another person that must choose you instead of choosing another one.

So what are you offering to that person? Will she be cared properly when she chooses you? Will she have fun? Will she find an understanding person who can listen and understand her? What will think her friends and family of this person? Would he be a good parent? Will he be able to provide some finantial stability to her?....

And that is why the only way to find a couple is to work on ourselves, so we become better candidates. And that is why surrending is a valid option.

Some of us bring more negatives than possitives to a romantic relation and its understable than those women choose better candidates and dont want to lose their precious time with us.

Its as hard and easy to understand as that.
 
Markness said:
She’s even told me herself she didn’t want children and wished she got a hysterectomy. And she wonders why she distresses me so much.
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Women have rights to not have kids, she is entitled to say this, I'm sure she doesn't regret you, or it's I personally feels that you weren't worthwhile.
Despite all feminism many ASD females felt they had no choices, my Mom in those days couldn't even open bank account without father's permission.

Despite masking and having less speech problems, little benefits given to women with autism, at times I think I wish I never had autism, I was diagnosed as having potential to enjoy life. Despite all male expert advice available autistic men very rarely have same levels of responsibility or have expectations placed on them not just to raise children, but in hope that these are functional!!!
 
Kayla55 said:
Women have rights to not have kids,
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I am not saying that at all. My point was that my mother said abusive things to me and it’s mentally scarred me. It felt like being told she wished I never existed and that it’s my fault that she is unhappy. My post had nothing to do with feminism, just my mother’s mean behavior.
 
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At long last I have now only received acceptance that pregnancy caused my alteimers, but I think it was also feeling trapped and pressured by marriage and being a Mom I couldn't just leave as is done in past over relations too stressful. I think taking alcohol and drugs and other bad reactions to trying to mask in bed, created stress and overdosing with coffee and exacerbated the situation. His selfish diet precedence over mine (as man of house gets his way)

In short, he did this (also ruined our lives by having male cheek to drug my ASD son with histamines to proove he was Mr. Competent( just Mr. Selfish testosterone))
 
Markness said:
I am not saying that at all. My point was that my mother said abusive things to me and it’s mentally scarred me. It felt like being told she wished I never existed and that it’s my fault that she is unhappy. My post had nothing to do with feminism, just my mother’s mean behavior.
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Why is it when you can't cope with life, she must drive you. When she can't cope then God forbid a women was ever human.
 
I can point you to number of occassions where I'm doubtful you'd wish autistic males advice was your dad.

I mean one time this asd male member said tough love over potty training....whatever that's meant to mean.
But yet your mom's supposed to sit there and lie about pregnancy being most unstressful, otherwise rewarding (not medals) unpaying jobs.
 
Kayla55 said:
I can point you to number of occassions where I'm doubtful you'd wish autistic males advice was your dad.

I mean one time this asd male member said tough love over potty training....whatever that's meant to mean.
But yet your mom's supposed to sit there and lie about pregnancy being most unstressful, otherwise rewarding (not medals) unpaying jobs.
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? I am genuinely confused by these posts. What occasions? What does my father have to do with anything? I don’t understand where you are going with this.

Tough love over potty training? have no idea who said that and how it pertains to this topic.
 
Noticed that women who remarry have to give more BJ and it's really hard for me to understand why the step-parent can be motivated by this, I refuse

So I'm still battling on as single Mom who raised the drug addicts kids, and survived to be provider with disability and not giving BJ
Gosh, if it wasn't for God goodness, I think I may have committed suicide long ago.
 
Markness said:
? I am genuinely confused by these posts. What occasions? What does my father have to do with anything? I don’t understand where you are going with this.

Tough love over potty training? I have no idea who said that and how it pertains to this topic.
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It was different thread,
I said imagine if this was your father....

Then we can see how much better they do, stamina, patience, undying dedication

I've heard stories of what mom's did for autistic child, and (lots bad qualities about women) but in all due fairness I'd refrain from judging a women's love
 
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