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Things that sabotaged me in terms of romance and more

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Is what a common issue?

Being an adult?
Wanting friends?
Being an adult who wants friends?

All of the above are common topics on this forum, aren't they?
 
Markness said:
Is this a common issue?
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Good question.

I think in this era it's a valid assumption. The increased mobility of the workforce, the fast pace of everything due to technology....and how isolated the Internet has made so many.

In my own case I think of the few really good adult friendships I had over the years. Mostly gained through work, and all lost with them going elsewhere and usually long distances away where we eventually lost touch.

It's hard to make friends as adults given how dynamic our lifestyles have become. Lifestyles at times more in the hands of our employers than ourselves. And that it does indeed take a toll on our ability to find fulfilling relationships. That work can sabotage anyone in that respect. :(
 
As I said it was just about impossible for me to make friends as a teenager young adult. As a grown-up adult is easier now much easier it's keeping them that's impossible.
 
I remember seeing terms like “Average Frustrated Chump” and “Nice Guy Syndrome” when I was first becoming clinically depressed and wondering why I didn’t have a girlfriend while other guys my age (17-18) did. These terms did not help me. If anything, they made me feel worse because it was like I was being told it was bad I felt frustrated and depressed.

Someone also linked a now defunct website called “Heartless Bitches International.”
 
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what fills me with more anger and resentment, is when people do argue and say that it is true that dating, human mating, is generally harder for men, this is what angers me more, when people and men say, "since it is harder for men, that means it ends up being more rewarding for men".

That just pisses me off even further.
 
I have more proof that physical appearance and genetics are everything to women and if you don't agree that genetics is everything and that some people lost the genetic lottery (which begins at birth by the way) than you are completely ignorant sir of how things really work.
 
Uri said:
I have more proof that physical appearance and genetics are everything to women and if you don't agree that genetics is everything and that some people lost the genetic lottery (which begins at birth by the way) than you are completely ignorant sir of how things really work.
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I think you'd be better mentally if you stopped ruminating about genetics.
 
Apparently I am physically attractive to some people but my mental health needs improvement. Being socially isolated doesn’t make things easier, though.
 
Markness said:
@Mary Terry Did you agree with my post out of encouragement?
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Yes, I agree that you're socially isolated and would love it if you could get out and do things where you meet new people and learn new things. I don't know what you look like but I'll take your word that you're physically attractive. You've had a girlfriend in the past and she apparently liked how you look so it seems you have the right looks to attract a partner. You do need to work on the social isolation if at all possible.
 
Mary Terry said:
Yes, I agree that you're socially isolated and would love it if you could get out and do things where you meet new people and learn new things. I don't know what you look like but I'll take your word that you're physically attractive. You've had a girlfriend in the past and she apparently liked how you look so it seems you have the right looks to attract a partner. You do need to work on the social isolation if at all possible.
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yup, its an understatement that men have to be far more social than women do in order to increase the odds of meeting someone.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
yup, its an understatement that men have to be far more social than women do in order to increase the odds of meeting someone.
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I disagree with your position that men "have to be far more social than women". Both men and women need to be social to increase their odds of meeting someone. Both genders have to get out of their homes and make themselves available to meet other people.
 
Mary Terry said:
I disagree with your position that men "have to be far more social than women". Both men and women need to be social to increase their odds of meeting someone. Both genders have to get out of their homes and make themselves available to meet other people.
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yeah i know i'm a broken record on this, it just naturally feels that men need to be more social and outgoing than women do, because of men always having to be the ones to ask the woman out and court women, be the initiators, which i always have despised and resented
 
Mary Terry said:
Yes, I agree that you're socially isolated and would love it if you could get out and do things where you meet new people and learn new things. I don't know what you look like but I'll take your word that you're physically attractive. You've had a girlfriend in the past and she apparently liked how you look so it seems you have the right looks to attract a partner. You do need to work on the social isolation if at all possible.
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I’ve never worried about my height because I know men who are shorter than me and they have girlfriends and wives. There was a time I worried about my face being unattractive but I’ve had women tell me the opposite.

I still get sad whenever my siblings show off whatever they are doing with their families and I have nothing to show despite wanting the same as them. :(
 
Markness said:
I’ve never worried about my height because I know men who are shorter than me and they have girlfriends and wives. There was a time I worried about my face being unattractive but I’ve had women tell me the opposite.

I still get sad whenever my siblings show off whatever they are doing with their families and I have nothing to show despite wanting the same as them. :(
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I know it sucks. I hate hearing that all the time and seeing it.
 
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