Things that sabotaged me in terms of romance and more

[Steelbookcollector217]

I want to give up looking and I try, try, try but just walking out my door I see my neighbors some married with kids and couples and platonic's everywhere. Then I don't even have to even look online and I see couples and platonic there too even in movies and TV shows so it's kinda hard to stop looking, but it still be depressed after busting my ass for five and a half years. Still can't even get a single girl to even hang out with me solo as a friend without looking as a threat or a creep or hearing that it's not safe like I'm gonna to grope her leg or something.

yeah it just sadly comes with the terrority, i knew even before i joined this forum, i knew i was going to find out or sadly hear a disclosed case of a guy going far into adulthood and having never dated, never been in a relationship before.

 

[Markness]

So…How Do Adults Make New Friends?

Is this a common issue?

 

[tree]

Is what a common issue?

Being an adult?
Wanting friends?
Being an adult who wants friends?

All of the above are common topics on this forum, aren't they?

 

[Judge]

Is this a common issue?

Good question.

I think in this era it's a valid assumption. The increased mobility of the workforce, the fast pace of everything due to technology....and how isolated the Internet has made so many.

In my own case I think of the few really good adult friendships I had over the years. Mostly gained through work, and all lost with them going elsewhere and usually long distances away where we eventually lost touch.

It's hard to make friends as adults given how dynamic our lifestyles have become. Lifestyles at times more in the hands of our employers than ourselves. And that it does indeed take a toll on our ability to find fulfilling relationships. That work can sabotage anyone in that respect.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

As I said it was just about impossible for me to make friends as a teenager young adult. As a grown-up adult is easier now much easier it's keeping them that's impossible.

 

[Markness]

Is what a common issue?

Being an adult?
Wanting friends?
Being an adult who wants friends?

All of the above are common topics on this forum, aren't they?

Being an adult who wants friends and more.

 

[tree]

Being an adult who wants friends and more.

Yes, those are common issues.
Common to a variety of personality types/neurologies.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

hearing about a certain case on here just really filled me with more resentment

 

[Markness]

I remember seeing terms like “Average Frustrated Chump” and “Nice Guy Syndrome” when I was first becoming clinically depressed and wondering why I didn’t have a girlfriend while other guys my age (17-18) did. These terms did not help me. If anything, they made me feel worse because it was like I was being told it was bad I felt frustrated and depressed.

Someone also linked a now defunct website called “Heartless Bitches International.”

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

what fills me with more anger and resentment, is when people do argue and say that it is true that dating, human mating, is generally harder for men, this is what angers me more, when people and men say, "since it is harder for men, that means it ends up being more rewarding for men".

That just pisses me off even further.

 

[Uri]

I have more proof that physical appearance and genetics are everything to women and if you don't agree that genetics is everything and that some people lost the genetic lottery (which begins at birth by the way) than you are completely ignorant sir of how things really work.

 

[honeytoast]

I have more proof that physical appearance and genetics are everything to women and if you don't agree that genetics is everything and that some people lost the genetic lottery (which begins at birth by the way) than you are completely ignorant sir of how things really work.

I think you'd be better mentally if you stopped ruminating about genetics.

 

[Markness]

Apparently I am physically attractive to some people but my mental health needs improvement. Being socially isolated doesn’t make things easier, though.