Sensitive Topic Two Articles: Responses to Jerry Seinfeld’s self-diagnosis

[Nitro]

I see some cute puppies and a hedgehog talking about Seinfeild. Cute overloaaaaad! XD

arf!

 

[AdamR]

In all honesty, my post probably had a touch of the sour grapes attitude that one can develop when one is extremely unsuccessful. My own current struggles with poverty and stuff are partly the result of past decisions-not made out of laziness or malice, but simply from not having known better, not having known how the world worked, not having known that other decisions would have been smarter, etc.

I can understand that. I spent a good number of years in a similar situation, actually, but for less forgivable reasons. I came up in a professionally successful family, such that I didn't have to work for what I wanted, as a lad. So once I was on my own, I was quite unprepared--and ended up stuck on the dole for years, for choices I made just out of ignorance. Having defended my mate's hard climb to get where he is, I should say that in my own case, I really did just get lucky. My whole career was decided in a single evening, by meeting the right person at just the right moment. I'd probably be working in a chip shop right now, had it not been for that. That's why I left myself out of my previous response to you. I didn't want to cloud my point about my partner, and the extra work an Aspie might have between them and professional success. I also excluded my case because it isn't typical of my industry, honestly. The road for most musicians is extremely rough.

Nadador has said to me, many times, that he's extremely thankful his special interest was so all-consuming, that his pursuit of it literally forced him to worldliness. He doesn't claim any smart thinking or planning, underlying the practical knowledge he managed to acquire early on. It was simply a secondary benefit of his fanaticism. Today, yes, he's quite worldly-wise, but much of that wisdom has come in hindsight.

Now, as far as Seinfeld in concerned, let's remember that there is no dichotomy of NT=professionally successful and ASD=professionally unsuccessful. Yes, a lot of us on this forum struggle in terms of career etc, but that doesn't mean every AS person does. And there are many NTs who aren't doing so well.

I agree, and thought I had said as much in my own post. Or maybe you aren't directing this at me. Anyroad, yes, it's a faulty correlation. That's part of why I don't understand the extreme reaction of autism advocates to people like Seinfeld, or other celebrities who believe they are on the spectrum. I see nothing in their professional success but good news, and the breaking of stereotypes.

Many of us on this very forum are "self-diagnosed" and many of us (even some of those who are professionally diagnosed) have had to deal with well meaning family friends or acquaintances telling us we are not really ASD. Sometimes we know more about ASD than many actual professionals. So, imo, we are the last people that should blame Jerry Seinfeld for a self-diagnosis.

I suppose that parents of children whose autism is so profound as to be clinically undeniable might not understand self-diagnosis. Perhaps their constant recourse to the medical profession has made them a bit institutionalised, in that regard? Nadador has never gone for formal diagnosis, because he feels certain he would be dismissed, for his high level of functioning. I'm preaching to the choir, here, but AS isn't brain cancer. There is no perfect test to diagnose it universally, and for my partner, having his daily experience and struggles dismissed by a doctor would be brutal to his psyche.

 

[Christy]

I suppose that parents of children whose autism is so profound as to be clinically undeniable might not understand self-diagnosis. Perhaps their constant recourse to the medical profession has made them a bit institutionalised, in that regard? Nadador has never gone for formal diagnosis, because he feels certain he would be dismissed, for his high level of functioning. I'm preaching to the choir, here, but AS isn't brain cancer. There is no perfect test to diagnose it universally, and for my partner, having his daily experience and struggles dismissed by a doctor would be brutal to his psyche.

There may not be a perfect test, but there are defined diagnostic criteria which you must meet in order to be diagnosable as autistic. To be able to interpret those diagnostic criteria in the vein they were written, you need technical training in the area... I.e. An expert. To self diagnose yet admit you would not be done so by a professional is highly offensive to me.

ASD is a SPECTRUM. They cut off the diagnosis of autistic at a point on the spectrum where the person no longer requires help in order to live a healthy life. Anything less than that, and the person only has traits. To claim autism when you only have traits puts forward a representation of the disorder which is Unfair. It would be like putting forward someone who has lost their little toe as a representative of amputees that have lost their whole leg. The assistance required in order to cope with life is significantly different.

 

[Ste11aeres]

There may not be a perfect test, but there are defined diagnostic criteria which you must meet in order to be diagnosable as autistic. To be able to interpret those diagnostic criteria in the vein they were written, you need technical training in the area... I.e. An expert. To self diagnose yet admit you would not be done so by a professional is highly offensive to me.

I'm not sure whether you're referring to
a) people who say that no professional (different than saying one particular (supposedly ignorant) professional)would diagnose them with ASD
or b) people who choose not to seek a professional diagnosis.
If it's "a", then I'm not sure who you're referring to.
If it's "b", well, there are different reasons for someone not wanting to be diagnosed by a professional. these reasons could be lack of money/lack of an insurance which would cover it, or the feeling that a diagnosis doesn't really matter as long as one understands oneself, or the feeling that one's neurological state is a private matter that one doesn't want to put on display in front of a professional.

 

[Christy]

I'm not sure whether you're referring to
a) people who say that no professional (different than saying one particular (supposedly ignorant) professional)would diagnose them with ASD
or b) people who choose not to seek a professional diagnosis.
If it's "a", then I'm not sure who you're referring to.
If it's "b", well, there are different reasons for someone not wanting to be diagnosed by a professional. these reasons could be lack of money/lack of an insurance which would cover it, or the feeling that a diagnosis doesn't really matter as long as one understands oneself, or the feeling that one's neurological state is a private matter that one doesn't want to put on display in front of a professional.

Please reread AdamR's quote. He is explicit when he says his partner hasnt got a diagnosis as he doesn't believe they would agree with his self diagnosis.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Please reread AdamR's quote. He is explicit when he says his partner hasnt got a diagnosis as he doesn't believe they would agree with his self diagnosis.

Yeah, but I have the impression that such a scenario is more a hypothetical fear on Nadador's part than something he actually knows would be the case.
Analogy: kind of like wondering if you should tell someone you like them when you are uncertain what they're response would be. It's possible their response would be good, but there is enough fear to keep you from doing anything.

 

[Christy]

Yeah, but I have the impression that such a scenario is more a hypothetical fear on Nadador's part than something he actually knows would be the case.
Analogy: kind of like wondering if you should tell someone you like them when you are uncertain what they're response would be. It's possible their response would be good, but there is enough fear to keep you from doing anything.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where there are diagnostic criteria for liking someone.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I'm sorry, I missed the part where there are diagnostic criteria for liking someone.

It was an analogy for how, when you don't know what the answer would be, fear can keep you from finding out what someone would actually say.
One of the things they could say would be the thing you want to hear, one of the things they could say would be the thing you don't want to hear. Your fear of the possibility of hearing the unpleasant thing, keeps you taking the step that would allow the possibility of hearing the pleasant thing.

 

[Nitro]

There may not be a perfect test, but there are defined diagnostic criteria which you must meet in order to be diagnosable as autistic. To be able to interpret those diagnostic criteria in the vein they were written, you need technical training in the area... I.e. An expert. To self diagnose yet admit you would not be done so by a professional is highly offensive to me.

ASD is a SPECTRUM. They cut off the diagnosis of autistic at a point on the spectrum where the person no longer requires help in order to live a healthy life. Anything less than that, and the person only has traits. To claim autism when you only have traits puts forward a representation of the disorder which is Unfair. It would be like putting forward someone who has lost their little toe as a representative of amputees that have lost their whole leg. The assistance required in order to cope with life is significantly different.

what is the defined diagnostic criteria and what is used to determine it...please do not tell us that you rely on the DSM

 

[Christy]

It was an analogy for how, when you don't know what the answer would be, fear can keep you from finding out what someone would actually say. One of the things they could say would be the thing you want to hear, one of the things they could say would be the thing you don't want to hear.

AdamR said his partner is certain he would be dismissed. That is very different from saying you are fearful you don't meet the criteria.

We clearly sit on different sides of the fence. I don't agree that anyone should claim a diagnosis unless professionally done so. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances why you would not seek a professional diagnosis, but frankly, If you can get by in life without the help, then it is questionable whether you meet the criteria anyway.

As I stated to begin with, I hope jerry goes on to get a formal diagnosis. Being "on the spectrum" does not necessarily mean he is "autistic".

 

[AdamR]

There may not be a perfect test, but there are defined diagnostic criteria which you must meet in order to be diagnosable as autistic. To be able to interpret those diagnostic criteria in the vein they were written, you need technical training in the area... I.e. An expert. To self diagnose yet admit you would not be done so by a professional is highly offensive to me.

Please reread AdamR's quote. He is explicit when he says his partner hasnt got a diagnosis as he doesn't believe they would agree with his self diagnosis.

Your offence can only rightly come from your own experience of being on the spectrum. Nadador is an unusual case, in that his professional accomplishments are so uncommon, even for NTs, that people have a very hard time believing he could have serious deficits elsewhere. Doctors are human, and so are not perfectly objective, or immune to faulty impressions. The last time Nadador went to a psychologist, the first thing the woman asked him was for an autograph. I know because I was there.

He is also about to stand for his viva voce (doctoral defence) in the field of neuropsychobiology. I am confident he knows his diagnosis as well as most physicians ever could.

I would suggest, with genuine respect for your perspective, that you might better apply your offence on a case-by-case basis.

 

[AdamR]

what is the defined diagnostic criteria and what is used to determine it...please do not tell us that you rely on the DSM

Good catch on that, as a person doesn't even need to meet all of the criteria for a given disorder to be diagnosed via the DSM.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Doctors are human, and so are not perfectly objective, or immune to faulty impressions.

Heck, even when it comes to physical ailments, diagnosible with certainty with the aid of machines rather than by diagnostic-criteria-found-in-a-book, my experience has been that some doctors are non-objective, dismissive, and might fail to diagnose it.
I went to a doctor and mentioned a bodily symptom (not going to describe it here) and her response was "I don't know why (you have this symptom)". No effort to diagnose it or find out what was the underlying cause. Nothing.
Years later, still with this chronic symptom, I came across a specialist-far more helpful-who was able to tell me a completely different story about the underlying medical cause.
Sadly, many of the doctors I've encountered during my life have been similar to the first doctor.

 

[Christy]

Your offence can only rightly come from your own experience of being on the spectrum. Nadador is an unusual case, in that his professional accomplishments are so uncommon, even for NTs, that people have a very hard time believing he could have serious deficits elsewhere. Doctors are human, and so are not perfectly objective, or immune to faulty impressions. The last time Nadador went to a psychologist, the first thing the woman asked him was for an autograph. I know because I was there.

He is also about to stand for his viva voice (doctoral defence) in the field of neuropsychobiology. I am confident he knows his diagnosis as well as most physicians ever could.

I would suggest, with genuine respect for your perspective, that you might better apply your offence on a case-by-case basis.

I concede, you and all the other "self diagnosed" people on this thread must be right.

I have stated my opinion and really have nothing more to add.

 

[AdamR]

I should also say this, about self-diagnosis, and reluctance to take the question to a doctor.

From what I've learned from an Aspie partner who is nearly sixty years of age, high-functioning autism is not a static state. In his first three decades, Nadador's impairments--the ones that would clinically qualify him as an Aspie--were much more disabling than they are today. He has worked extremely hard to be as well-functioning as he is now, and it's taken decades. I'm sure there are plenty of other Aspies with the same history of developmental growth.

Unless we are to assert that one can outgrow Autism, which I believe is a very dangerous thing to suggest, then we can't very well take a man in late midlife and say, "No, you don't fit the criteria well enough right now, therefore you aren't an Aspie," just because he has mastered himself over time.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I should also say this, about self-diagnosis, and reluctance to take the question to a doctor.

From what I've learned from an Aspie partner who is nearly sixty years of age, high-functioning autism is not a static state. In his first three decades, Nadador's impairments--the ones that would clinically qualify him as an Aspie--were much more disabling than they are today. He has worked extremely hard to be as well-functioning as he is now, and it's taken decades. I'm sure there are plenty of other Aspies with the same history of developmental growth.

Unless we are to assert that one can outgrow Autism, which I believe is a very dangerous thing to suggest, then we can't very well take a man in late midlife and say, "No, you don't fit the criteria well enough right now, therefore you aren't an Aspie," just because he has mastered himself over time.

Hans Asperger's findings were based on children.

Wilkipedia (which I hate. My stomach is churning at the thought of referencing it) has this line which I like: "Asperger noticed that many of the children he identified as being autistic used their special talents in adulthood and had successful careers."

 

[Nitro]

During the four years since my motorcycle induced frontal lobotomy,my studies have been focused on the human brain. I was prodded and pushed by what I now consider quacks holding sheepskins. They guessed at things to do to me and followed procedures written in books. I was overdosed on many medications when they followed protocols for treatments. I stumbled across the autistic spectrum seeking answers for why my recovery from disability level traumatic brain injury was progressing at such a rapid pace. My present team of neuropsychs were amazed at how well I could speak their language in under one month. My world was shattered and left in shambles as I also had to step down from my position of CEO and regain my life. I will not tolerate someone who thinks that some of us are not worthy of an autistic diagnosis because we made our way thru life without help...we are still autistic,no matter what book someone wrote and the criteria you clutch so dearly as the only correct answer. I guess I am not autie enough for both you and the "criteria" which has remained unexplained by you...My family decided to have me removed from life support and were told that I would never be much more than a vegetable who pissed his pants and drooled by professionals...sorry for everyone's luck,I am back and going strong...in fact,I have plans to take the Mensa test this winter to see what is left of the old me...had I took the "I quit" attitude four years ago,I would not be here today,I would have drifted into the great beyond and never returned...when you can talk brain on my level,maybe we will chat a bit...

 

[Gomendosi]

So let me understand this from the perspective of somebody who thinks they are an Aspie, you say that sometimes not knowing is a good thing and that you don’t need to be formally diagnosed because you now yourself better than anybody trained in that specific field?

Speaking as an Aspie, I always need confirmation and I always want to know if I am right or wrong, In a thread recently somebody pointed out to me that they would prefer to know and discuss whether they were wrong in somebody else’s opinion and a button took that facility away from them.

Well I guess this is the internet, we all are who we say we are, you can be anything you want to be and therefore that makes it alright, I have nothing against Jerry and love his humor and even proudly own the box set of his most famous and self titled show. I also have nothing against people who self diagnose, only the majority I have encountered here seem to be combative and resentful of diagnosed people; it has to be said I even self diagnose all the time, in point of fact.
But if I have something wrong I will seek a professional in that field, like if I self diagnose with tinnitus I may go to an ear, nose and throat specialist. If I think I have a broken bone I go to an x-ray operator. If I think I have cancer I go to an oncologist. If I have trouble with passing water I go to a urologist. If I think I have multiple personalities we all go to a psychiatrist, no we don’t, well I do and so do I.

Fact is that Aspergers is the only thing I have ever come across where people diagnose themselves and then put it about like it is gospel and they feel they are completely within their right to tell me I am bad, wrong, incorrect, a troll or a bully or that I need to justify my response on a forum of people who otherwise understand that I am just as confused about things as they claim to be. Also, I don’t think it fair that self diagnosed people can come into my forum (I only say my forum as I used to be a mod), and alienate people who are further along the spectrum just because they are weird or strange or make others uncomfortable, I have seen so many people hounded for the manifestations of their traits and so many have chosen to leave rather than stand up for themselves or others in the same boat. But this is beside the point!

All too often I have heard the words, “oh but you seem so normal” when what they mean is in relation to the press’ characterization or what they have seen in films, I seem to be relatively able to cope therefore what I say can’t be right. The thing they don’t get is that this is something that is in every aspect of my life, I cannot control my way of being in the world but for short times I can successfully mask it or make such a show of it that it seems I am being odd deliberately, what this does to me and how this duplicity affects me later behind closed doors they could never know, but again, it would seem I am further along the Aspergical range than most here.

Now people will have another reason to doubt me, because I don’t have the same awesome life as Seinfeld and he didn’t even need a professional to tell him, a person who is self diagnosed probably applauds loudly or even says things like “My self-diagnosis now has some legitimate support from a famous person”, but how this makes it difficult for the people who struggle hourly is that the rest of society hold up the best and worst case scenarios and see’s which you match, if you don’t come close enough in their definition to either then you must be just like them and thereby not what you claim. This being ironic as you think this is what I do to self diagnosed people, which I also find funny as they are the same that are badgering diagnosed people for having a differing opinion. Is it relevant that only one diagnosed person in this thread has agreed it is a good thing and the majority and most argumentative people in the thread are self diagnosed.

I think I should be allowed to post to a thread with a differing opinion without people mobbing me but as is so often the case lately, that is not how things work around here anymore, if I have an opinion that goes against the grain I must be forced to defend myself and my position so my ‘argument’ can be picked apart and proven wrong on many different levels. This is not conducive to a pleasant atmosphere and certainly not good for an Aspie, but should I speak up I am trounced soundly and looked upon as a troublemaker, even at times by the people put in place to protect my time here.


Thank you, this is the last I’ll say on the matter as I am aghast at the atmosphere.

 

[Ste11aeres]

So let me understand this from the perspective of somebody who thinks they are an Aspie, you say that sometimes not knowing is a good thing and that you don’t need to be formally diagnosed because you now yourself better than anybody trained in that specific field?

Speaking as an Aspie, I always need confirmation and I always want to know if I am right or wrong, In a thread recently somebody pointed out to me that they would prefer to know and discuss whether they were wrong in somebody else’s opinion and a button took that facility away from them.

Well I guess this is the internet, we all are who we say we are, you can be anything you want to be and therefore that makes it alright, I have nothing against Jerry and love his humor and even proudly own the box set of his most famous and self titled show. I also have nothing against people who self diagnose, only the majority I have encountered here seem to be combative and resentful of diagnosed people; it has to be said I even self diagnose all the time, in point of fact.
But if I have something wrong I will seek a professional in that field, like if I self diagnose with tinnitus I may go to an ear, nose and throat specialist. If I think I have a broken bone I go to an x-ray operator. If I think I have cancer I go to an oncologist. If I have trouble with passing water I go to a urologist. If I think I have multiple personalities we all go to a psychiatrist, no we don’t, well I do and so do I.

Fact is that Aspergers is the only thing I have ever come across where people diagnose themselves and then put it about like it is gospel and they feel they are completely within their right to tell me I am bad, wrong, incorrect, a troll or a bully or that I need to justify my response on a forum of people who otherwise understand that I am just as confused about things as they claim to be. Also, I don’t think it fair that self diagnosed people can come into my forum (I only say my forum as I used to be a mod), and alienate people who are further along the spectrum just because they are weird or strange or make others uncomfortable, I have seen so many people hounded for the manifestations of their traits and so many have chosen to leave rather than stand up for themselves or others in the same boat. But this is beside the point!

All too often I have heard the words, “oh but you seem so normal” when what they mean is in relation to the press’ characterization or what they have seen in films, I seem to be relatively able to cope therefore what I say can’t be right. The thing they don’t get is that this is something that is in every aspect of my life, I cannot control my way of being in the world but for short times I can successfully mask it or make such a show of it that it seems I am being odd deliberately, what this does to me and how this duplicity affects me later behind closed doors they could never know, but again, it would seem I am further along the Aspergical range than most here.

Now people will have another reason to doubt me, because I don’t have the same awesome life as Seinfeld and he didn’t even need a professional to tell him, a person who is self diagnosed probably applauds loudly or even says things like “My self-diagnosis now has some legitimate support from a famous person”, but how this makes it difficult for the people who struggle hourly is that the rest of society hold up the best and worst case scenarios and see’s which you match, if you don’t come close enough in their definition to either then you must be just like them and thereby not what you claim. This being ironic as you think this is what I do to self diagnosed people, which I also find funny as they are the same that are badgering diagnosed people for having a differing opinion. Is it relevant that only one diagnosed person in this thread has agreed it is a good thing and the majority and most argumentative people in the thread are self diagnosed.

I think I should be allowed to post to a thread with a differing opinion without people mobbing me but as is so often the case lately, that is not how things work around here anymore, if I have an opinion that goes against the grain I must be forced to defend myself and my position so my ‘argument’ can be picked apart and proven wrong on many different levels. This is not conducive to a pleasant atmosphere and certainly not good for an Aspie, but should I speak up I am trounced soundly and looked upon as a troublemaker, even at times by the people put in place to protect my time here.


Thank you, this is the last I’ll say on the matter as I am aghast at the atmosphere.

I think your posts lately have indicated that you have been seeing debate and disagreement as bullying and fighting. Debate is a perfectly okay thing. Debate and disagreement are part and parcel of the internet, but AC is the only place on the internet where even in the very arguments themselves, one senses that kindness, thought-provoking-ness (sorry for made up word), and a feeling of acceptance and community exist in harmony.

The only member of this community whom I felt was being abused to a certain degree was Nadador, who wasn't even around to speak up for himself. He has proven himself to be a contributive and well liked member of the AC community, so I am feeling a little defensive on his behalf.
Other than in regards to him, there was no attacking, but simply disagreeing, where one person would posit one opinion, and someone else would state a contrary opinion.

 

[AdamR]

You’ve said that you are done here, Gomendosi, and I get that. I will address your points, however, because I’m not. I’m actually quite saddened you took this discussion/debate so hard, when no harm was intended (at least not by me, the only person I can speak for), and feel the need to resolve things for my own sense of closure. My comments will, however, include some degree of frustration at parts of what you’ve said.

So let me understand this from the perspective of somebody who thinks they are an Aspie, you say that sometimes not knowing is a good thing and that you don’t need to be formally diagnosed because you now yourself better than anybody trained in that specific field?

My relevant quote: “I'd say the individual who is living with the symptoms is a more reliable source than any MD. S/he is the only true expert on her/himself.”

What I am asserting is that a doctor can diagnose based on clinical knowledge and judgement--but when we're talking about conditions that affect the mind, where symptoms overlap and interact across disorders, with no blood test, or the like, to prove a diagnosis conclusively, then ultimately, a doctor's diagnosis may be no more perfect than a layperson's who is actually living with the symptoms. According to the psychiatrist I see for my own problems (much paraphrased): Unless a patient is profoundly affected, the best diagnosis for most any condition of the mind is reached in partnership between doctor (with his clinical expertise), and patient (with their experience of their symptoms). She acknowledges that doctors are human, and therefore neither perfect nor universally consistent in their interpretations. She also freely admits that many doctors don’t put much weight on the patient’s own self-knowledge, and feels this is a real problem. I have seen many posts on AC from people who have been rather cruelly disregarded by physicians, even accused in various ways. All of this confirms to me that doctors are not the be-all and end-all of good judgement.

Speaking as an Aspie, I always need confirmation and I always want to know if I am right or wrong,

I fully accept your perspective, but it doesn’t mean every Aspie feels the same, about every question in their lives. It’s not a universal characteristic. (And for that matter, the quality you describe is not limited to Aspies.)

If I thought I had AS, personally, I would in fact want a diagnosis--because clinical confirmation, if available, would be important to my own process, and my own needs. But I also know there are many ways to shear a sheep. Just because an individual does not seek formal diagnosis, that doesn’t mean they cannot “know if they are right or wrong” about their Aspie status. They may find other ways of confirming it that are just as satisfying to their own requirements. I don’t feel any individual is in a position to judge how another person works, inside.

Well I guess this is the internet, we all are who we say we are, you can be anything you want to be and therefore that makes it alright,

Ad hominem attack? I find this more than a bit curious, that a person who says in one paragraph of their post that they often feel dismissed and disbelieved, would then turn around and question someone else’s veracity. If you feel put in a box by others, imagine how Nadador must feel. Is it really so unbelievable that a celebrity would seek community here, as a human being who needs the support of his peers? Are other celebs all that he’s allowed to interact with? What’s he supposed to do, ring up Dan Akroyd, David Byrne, or Michael Palin out of the blue, if he wants an Aspie friend? People who are just as much strangers to him as the members at AC? You’ve just unwittingly proven my point about why he is reluctant to seek diagnosis. He is viewed and treated very differently, by just about everyone. Looks like you’re no exception. It makes it very hard for me to sympathise with your feelings of isolation, which I was otherwise very much prepared to do.

I also have nothing against people who self diagnose, only the majority I have encountered here seem to be combative and resentful of diagnosed people

I haven't been here very long, but I don't think I, personally, have ever seen any undiagnosed member display resentment toward diagnosed persons, unless such persons are actively invalidating their identity as as Aspie in some way. If you’ve seen otherwise, I am truly sorry that’s happened. But surely you could understand how being invalidated for lack of diagnosis could make a person a bit defencive.

If you think about it, though, an undiagnosed person really doesn’t need to be resentful of someone with a diagnosis in hand, as they can get diagnosed if they want to. It's not a special privilege to be assessed.

Fact is that Aspergers is the only thing I have ever come across where people diagnose themselves and then put it about like it is gospel and they feel they are completely within their right to tell me I am bad, wrong, incorrect, a troll or a bully or that I need to justify my response on a forum of people who otherwise understand that I am just as confused about things as they claim to be

Nobody here has called you anything of the kind on this thread. You’re not being asked to justify anything, either. You entered a discussion, are so are being asked to discuss. Had people just ignored your comments, you likely would have been equally upset about that. Understanding happens through discussion and debate—as long as nobody loses their cool.

Now people will have another reason to doubt me, because I don’t have the same awesome life as Seinfeld and he didn’t even need a professional to tell him......

......this makes it difficult for the people who struggle hourly is that the rest of society hold up the best and worst case scenarios and see’s which you match, if you don’t come close enough in their definition to either then you must be just like them and thereby not what you claim.

I can see where your anger is coming from. But please understand that most people aren't going to compare you to Seinfeld. It seems to me that the real problem is public ignorance of ASDs, or even the concept of a "spectrum". This is why all hands need to be on deck, working together and not against each other, the diagnosed and undiagnosed, at all levels of functioning. Healthy discussion and debate can be a good thing for the whole community, to further mutual understanding of all experiences of the spectrum—again, if nobody loses their cool.