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Virginity problem running in the family

Why don’t you honestly try a Prostitute? I know that sounds awful but I don’t think i’d be going down the dating route at this stage.

Or what about an Aspergers dating site?

NB: i’ve been trying tinder lately and I am awful at it! I’ve only got 5 matches and my likes stay at 10 each day. Idk if this normal? I just notice that I got 60 likes at my University town so it’s a big drop off!
 
We can repeat all day about how unfair the opinions, standards, and questions of the people you associate with are, but what really matters is what you’re going to do about it.

I’m going to repost a comment by @Aspychata from your other thread out now about this exact same topic. It’s good advice.

“As a Frisco native, l think you should try speed dating, salsa clubs are great in Frisco, volunteer, you meet some great woman that way and you can bus to location. Take a part-time job at pier 41 where you are constanly interacting with people, great way to meet someone. Go to events in your special area of expertise to meet like minded woman. Like do you read? Work at store or volunteer at library. Frisco is a great place to get out and do things.”

We’ve offered a lot of advice, but you just repeat your frustrations over and over. Time to think about what you’re going to do, new ideas, such as finding a new circle of friends and abandoning the meetups you go to.
 
GadAbout said:
What are your special interests? I suggest getting involved with hobby groups rather than places people go to meet up. Like, if you enjoy cooking, or chamber music, or comic book art, get involved with clubs or organizations that have the common interest.
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Special interests are fairly narrow. Chess and foreign languages. I take them extremely seriously such that they are not really considered "fun", but something that I have to work hard at constantly.

When I studied in the UK, I actually liked going to pubs and bars a lot with fellow students. But the big difference was that I went with the international student club on weekend nights. That meant that the pubs and bars were much quieter than usual, so we could actually talk and get to know each other better without excess noise and people.

GadAbout said:
Not meaning to diss your mother, but surely you must realize that she hasn't been the greatest role model for social skills. I agree that no social life at all is unhealthy (for most people - though it suits some), but I think you need some new ways to meet your needs.
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True, I understand. I always admired her for her courage and being a "tough cookie" as they say, because she is intimidating enough to put people in her place with her verbals when people try to screw her (or the entire family) over.

I was thinking about complementing finding new social groups with online socialising as well. The problem of course is finding online platforms to socialise. I tried a few online Asperger's dating sites, but most of them were fairly empty or inactive.
 
Kalinychta said:
Prostitution is illegal, and it entails taking advantage of vulnerable women.
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It's not illegal everywhere, and not all prostitutes are vulnerable women (or men), for some it is simply their career choice. Such people might be hard to find, but since Lundi cares to much about his virginity \I expect if he went down that route he wold be willing to put in the effort to find a woman who takes her job seriously.
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
It's not illegal everywhere, and not all prostitutes are vulnerable women (or men), for some it is simply their career choice. Such people might be hard to find, but since Lundi cares to much about his virginity \I expect if he went down that route he wold be willing to put in the effort to find a woman who takes her job seriously.
Click to expand...

About 90% of prostitutes don’t want to be prostitutes. It’s a big topic, but I think your main point is that he should just hook up with someone for casual sex, right? I thought of that, too, but it might turn out to be traumatic for him. I would have hated losing my virginity to a stranger. I would have been afraid.
 
Kalinychta said:
About 90% of prostitutes don’t want to be prostitutes. It’s a big topic, but I think your main point is that he should just hook up with someone for casual sex, right? I thought of that, too, but it might turn out to be traumatic for him. I would have hated losing my virginity to a stranger. I would have been afraid.
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True a lot of prostitutes are doing it as a last resort or as a result of trafficking, which is awful and a problem which the law is dealing with pretty poorly, but there are still many people who do want to do it and I think that lumping in all prostitution as "unethical" is not only wrong but pretty rude to people who have made a carefully considered choice to do it as a career and who take pride in their work.

On the actual topic though, that was part of my reasoning, and only he can know whether it would be a good or bad decision for him, but I was also thinking that an experienced prostitute who takes her job seriously might not only give him a great experience (because it's her job to do so) but could also teach him a lot in a way that most women may not have the patience for.
 
I am trying to do this the natural way. The single/virginity thing is intertwined; if the single issue is solved, eventually the virginity issue would solve itself on its own. In other words, I would rather an actual connection/relationship, not a random quickie.

Even if I for some reason wanted a hook-up, can you imagine how bad a guy with Asperger's, OCD, hypochondria, social anxiety, social awkwardness with a history of on-and-off depression and self-hatred would fare in the hook-up scene? I can already see in a hypothetical situation how doing something like that would lead me to fall into a depression and self-loathing of epic proportions. I feel that the ensuing depression would be so bad that it would even be better to just be a virgin for now and wait to try a relationship.

And I have heard many suggestions about going to Amsterdam and stuff. Anything regarding that type of stuff is absolutely not something that I would do, ever. As already said above, those women in places where it is legal like Amsterdam's Red Light District, are not doing it because they really like to do this. I cannot imagine a majority of them saying that they would rather do this type of stuff instead of for example an office job. And I cannot help but feel that in many cases they are being coerced or pressured into this industry against their will.
 
People, let's not derail this thread into a "prostitution: pro or con?" discussion. Make a new thread if you want to debate that.

Lundi, you have a position on this subject and I think it's perfectly acceptable (it's your life, after all).
 
Lundi said:
When I was 23-25 I had zero friends here and talked to no one except family, or with doctors or store clerks when I had to leave the house. I rather not go back to that life.
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I had same experience for last 10 years of my life, and it sucks. And yeah store clerks with basic hello, bye, thank you were my social communication.
Then i tried working as driver for Uber/Lyft and got more socialization than i could handle.
 
OrdinaryCitizen said:
I had same experience for last 10 years of my life, and it sucks. And yeah store clerks with basic hello, bye, thank you were my social communication.
Then i tried working as driver for Uber/Lyft and got more socialization than i could handle.
Click to expand...

I’m 23 and i’m the same. It’s very hard to make friends at this age though.

I mean where are we supposed to go?
 
Looking back over the years I have usually received negative comments about my appearance and physical looks. My mother also has when she was my age. I believe that my grandfather as well.

As a teenager I was usually called ugly by the girls, and in my 20s usually told that I looked weird or outdated or just plain ugly. Right now I usually get told that I look haggard and old like someone in their mid-40s. Social Darwinism is quite popular here, so I get told sometimes about how my bad looks mean that I am not a good choice for any relationship.

I was thinking of posting pictures of myself (including of my face), such as my social media profile photos either here or through PM if any female members wanted to evaluate using the albeit superficial 1-10 scale.
 
Physical looks is a superficial reason to care for or like someone. It is sad so many people put
looks as the first attraction.
I dated a few guys in my 20's and my Mom would always tell me she thought they were ugly and
couldn't understand why I liked them.

That's just it. I liked them. I never chose someone to be friends with or date based on looks.
I always went by the way they acted and how they talked.
The ones that came on like some jock, look at me, hot stuff right? Turn off.
Same with language. If they were kind and polite I found it attractive.
Those that were foul mouthed and couldn't talk without the F word several times in a sentence.
Turn off.

Sure, I can look at a person's physicality and admire it the same as anyone.
But, I can also do that looking at a race horse! Doesn't mean he's going to win the race. ;)

You may be judging your looks harshly and others may just do it to be hurtful.
In high school I was made fun of too for my looks.
I admit I wasn't pretty during those years. But, it is what it is and I don't approve of people
making fun of others physique.
 
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