What are you trying to overcome?

[Xinyta]

Apathy and self-created psychosomatic fears.

I feel trapped both emotionally and mentally. I have feelings inside. I truly do. But it's been impossible to express them in alot of ways. Especially since I feel like I am not genuine in most of what do show. If I do.

I have spent so long building fears and lies in myself, that I naturally default to them. And it seems very difficult to overcome. That I feel afraid of doing things and/or interacting with people. It's created paranoia. And worse. It's created psychosis and a anxiety disorder in me. I take meds for my profound anxiety. But fear I feel still psychologically, still tries to search and trigger my, now non-existent, anxiety. To no avail. Making me question how I can shut this off.

I have recently discovered that I likely have a Toliet Phobia/Anxiety. The only reason I never did explore this before, is the same reason I never explored my trama. I was too far gone in my own world to care.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry @Xinyta , but l would still talk to you. l think we develope phobias to deal with what we don't know how to deal with.

 

[Aspychata]

My hardest lesson to date is, nobody is our friend. Some of us walk very tough paths, you need to adjust your rose-colored glasses, and understand there are others plotting against you for no understandable reason. It's a life lesson. You still walk forward, but you change your thoughts to accept that people aren't nice, you personally need to get with the program if you worship survival, Pure Survival. If this was the only gift l could give to thr forum, it's that.

 

[Aspychata]

Partner gaslit me yesterday. It's an ongoing obstacle. Not quite sure what to do as l play a critical role in their health plan currently.

 

[Rodafina]

Studying a seemingly impossible puzzle of how I get back to work without sacrificing taking care of myself (eating well, exercising, managing tough emotions, regularly speaking to loved ones and taking care of my aging dog).

 

[Roisin]

Sciatica and nerve pain shooting down my arm.

 

[Aspychata]

Big obstacle, asking someone why they are gaslighting me. Putting more boundaries in place. Told them l am not sure about us. But remaining civil and mature. Sometimes l become upset, so learning to state boundaries is helping.

 

[Neri]

Getting myself home. Cleaning out my old house with my ex as soon as we get out of Canberra, where we've been stuck after my ex's mum's funeral, because of a cyclone and the resultant flooding in the area where my old house is. I've been struggling with grief, burn out, shut downs (including sibstantial non verbal, non moving and not able to communicate episodes) and I, had a really bad melt down the day, which I don't feel recovered from yet. I'm struggling to talk at all or be social at all.
My brain functioning is scary low level. My ex is quite unwell as well. Sigh. This is really hard. I can't wait to get back to my new home and for this to be all over and I can focus on getting well and getting my new life happening.

 

[Xinyta]

Sorry @Xinyta , but l would still talk to you. l think we develope phobias to deal with what we don't know how to deal with.

That's more or less my life. Creating phobias to avoid doing things. The irony is. They all are lies, yet I cling to them. Like I simply refuse to belive that I can live without them.

I appreciate the sentiment of still wanting to talk to me. Though more in concept, than in action.

 

[AprilR]

Nausea, anxiety and fatigue

 

[Aspychata]

Think when l started this post, l faced an insurmountable obstacle that has plagued me many , many years. l asked for guidance, and the answer was that l will face this obstacle for many, many years. There are times l spun out of control, and very dear friends hovered over me, at other times, this forum ccaught me in the community net. So that is why l reach out and try to help others here. Oh, yes, l think my obstacle finely has an ending.

 

[Judge]

Two years of undulating lower back pain.

 

[Aspychata]

Sorry @Judge , that's a tough one.

 

[Outdated]

Two years of undulating lower back pain.

40 years of that for me. The only thing that helps is exercise - walking and swimming. Absolutely never running, that pounding will make it far worse. Riding a bike gives no relief either, it exercises the wrong muscle sets.

What I have is known as Tradesman's Bad Back. From lifting and carrying heavy weights the disks in between the vertebrae in the lower back become compressed and so too do the nerve lines that feed in to your spine from the rest of your lower body. The pressure on those nerves is what sends the pain signals.

Building up the micro muscles in your lower back helps to keep better separation between vertebrae but if you're tired from a long day then those muscles won't be doing their job any more. As we get older the spaces between our vertebrae naturally shrink and we start feeling more back pain more often, when we get to our 60s we're usually more than an inch shorter than we were when we were young.

I can't sit in an upright chair for more than a few minutes before my back starts to hurt - office chairs and dining chairs. About half an hour is as much as I can cope with before I have to get up and walk around a bit. To spend many hours at a time on my computer I sit in a large leather recliner with my feet up and a cushion supporting my lumbar region.

A bar maid once asked me why all men when they sit on a stool at the bar will rest their elbows on the bar and lean forward over the bar while they talk and drink. I told her that not all men do this, only the ones that do physical work for a living. Academics and office workers will tend to sit upright, tradesmen will subconsciously try to lift some of the weight off of their lower spine in order to be able to relax without pain. They do exactly the same when sitting at a table unless manners require otherwise. It has nothing to do with "claiming a space", it's simple pain relief.

 

[Judge]

Seems like medical professionals have no answers other than offer me dope. My mother went down that route and ended up being sent to "pain management" where they simply cut her off of everything. With a little help from the Drug Enforcement Agency I suspect.

So I just deal with the pain that goes up and down. But it's really bad when I have other unrelated issues, like arthritis in my left knee right now. So much pain in the last few days.

BTW- I found out last year I lost an inch in height!

 

[Outdated]

So I just deal with the pain that goes up and down. But it's really bad when I have other unrelated issues, like arthritis in my left knee right now. So much pain in the last few days.

Walking really helps, it'll help with the arthritis too. It'll hurt at first but once you start moving it improves quite quickly.

Don't let anyone talk you in to using drugs for this, they don't help in any way shape or form. The absolute worst are muscle relaxants such as Mersyndol, the only thing that prevents the pain is having the micro muscles in your back supporting the spaces between your vertebrae and a muscle relaxant ruins that for you.

Smoking a bit of weed also helps, it does nothing to relieve pain but it changes your attitude so that you are more able to live with the pain.

[Edit] Anti inflamatories are also seriously bad news for your joints, including your back.

 

[Judge]

Walking really helps, it'll help with the arthritis too. It'll hurt at first but once you start moving it improves quite quickly.

I normally do a lot of walking. But right now I can't...too much arthritis pain. But I will again, when the swelling goes down.

 

[AprilR]

Apathy

 

[Lemon Zing]

I think I better stop contacting escorts, and stick to fun in the saunas. Sex workers online can have a very hostile and unpredictable attitude on their respective platforms. Not to mention their fees are quite ridiculous, and I honestly don't feel like going in circles.

It's practically a rip off.

 

[Aspychata]

Right now my obstacle has been having patience for a very unsurmoutable obstacle. Just sticking it out, but it seems that people are clueless currently about how tought it is to move. And waiting on the housing market which is going into a slump here in FL. Actually am considering getting a villa in a nicer section in the town next to us. It's not gated, however even gated hasn't stopped people sneaking into the park l am in. The last five years has been extremely disappointing as l don't have any desire to go out with men, just getting older and prefer my own company at this age, not sure why men don't get that. Plus l never dated much, just worked most of my life, no time for anything else.