What are your controversial opinions regarding the autism spectrum?

[Crossbreed]

Has the spectrum stretched to the point where autism traits are virtually nonexistent?

Twice-exceptionals* and older Aspies are often good at masking their traits, but you can still tell, in person.

*2Es are so often accused of being neither autistic nor gifted because of it.

 

[Ezra]

Twice-exceptionals* and older Aspies are often good at masking their traits, but you can still tell, in person.

*2Es are so often accused of being neither autistic nor gifted because of it.

I understand. But at the same time It's like their version of autism would be my version of being "cured".

 

[Progster]

I mean those who say they have a diagnosis. They do a lot of talking about themselves in forums and videos. And it's like where's the autism? Has the spectrum stretched to the point where autism traits are virtually nonexistent? What's the point in that?

I don't think that you can really judge a person's functioning level from online forums - you need to meet people in real life to know what they are like and what issues they have.
As an older adult, I have developed a lot of coping mechanisms to mask my social difficulties, which were much more obvious up to the age of about 30. Online one might not even know that I'm diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, but if you were to meet me in real life, you'd probably know, because of my social difficulties, difficulties expressing myself in real time and body language. Is one cured because one has developed coping mechanisms? I don't think so, there is no cure, just coping and masking.

 

[Progster]

To answer the OP, I need to ask the question: controversial according to whom? To the autism community or to the public at large, or organisations such as Autism Speaks?
Well, one opinion that I have that might be controversial to some, is that autism should never be an excuse for deliberately rude, aggressive or inconsiderate behaviour. for example, if I have a noisy stim, and I become aware of it annoying others, then the correct thing to do is to avoid that stim, and engage in another stim that doesn't annoy others. However, if the person is getting annoyed for no reason other than I'm doing something different and they don't like people who are different, it's a different matter; I have a right to my stim and will continue to do so.
Also, I know to be polite; I know to say thank you, or that I should greet people or say hello at least, and if I want to engage in society, then this is something I need to do, even though I loathe any sort of forced social interaction; I have to do these to get by in life, I know this so having Asperger's is no excuse for me not to - although I feel that I shouldn't be forced to do things like kiss on both cheeks and don't do that.

Controversial to the public at large, is that I don't want a cure and think that society needs neurodiversity for humanity to develop and evolve, so no, I would not like genes for autism to be edited out or somehow removed from the human genome, that would be a huge mistake and a huge step backwards.

 

[Ezra]

I don't think that you can really judge a person's functioning level from online forums - you need to meet people in real life to know what they are like and what issues they have.
As an older adult, I have developed a lot of coping mechanisms to mask my social difficulties, which were much more obvious up to the age of about 30. Online one might not even know that I'm diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, but if you were to meet me in real life, you'd probably know, because of my social difficulties, difficulties expressing myself in real time and body language. Is one cured because one has developed coping mechanisms? I don't think so, there is no cure, just coping and masking.

Normally these days I wouldn't bring this up, but this supposed to be a controversial opinion. I doubt with me just making regular posts that anyone could tell that I have moderate to severe autism. Especially because they say that I write so well.But when I talk about myself and my lifestyle and experiences, then it becomes abundantly clear. I think the people who have gotten to know me online know me pretty well and how autism affects my life. And I've been able to do the same with them. And like I say with some people who share a lot about themselves, all kinds of personal details and life experience, I find myself wondering where their autism is outside of a faint whiff of it. But then again I have heard of Aspergers described as just a dash of autism.

 

[Progster]

Normally these days I wouldn't bring this up, but this supposed to be a controversial opinion. I doubt with me just making regular posts that anyone could tell that I have moderate to severe autism. Especially because they say that I write so well.But when I talk about myself and my lifestyle and experiences, then it becomes abundantly clear. I think the people who have gotten to know me online know me pretty well and how autism affects my life. And I've been able to do the same with them. And like I say with some people who share a lot about themselves, all kinds of personal details and life experience, I find myself wondering where their autism is outside of a faint whiff of it. But then again I have heard of Aspergers described as just a dash of autism.

I don't think it's true that having autism necessarily means that one can't share things about themselves... some people overshare, or talk about themselves too much, give too many details or information in such a way that's not deemed socially appropriate. It's more about a difficulty in regulating one's interaction so as to be 'socially appropiate'. And I've seen people diagnosed with classic autism share information about themselves as much as those with Asperger's, and some people with Asperger's or ASD not want to talk about themselves at all, so I don't think that a correlation exists there. How much one talks about one's life, how much one shares, has more to do with a person's personality IMO.

Another point that I'd like to make is that on society, even being slightly different, as in the case of Asperger's or ASD level 1, can be enough for the person to be bullied, socially excluded, or not be able to hold down a job, leading to problems with depression and anxiety. Hence the need for the diagnosis of such people.

But yes, you're right, the thread does ask for controversial opinions, and that's what we're getting.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

1. I don’t mind being called an aspie

2. I am special.

3. Using medicines to help things like anxiety is okay.

4. I hate when people say “I’m a touch autistic”. I know everyone’s on the spectrum but don’t try and minamise my problems.

5. Main stream education isn’t always the best option for auties.

 

[Ezra]

What I'm talking about is people who talk about their life in an ordinary matter of fact way. What you get to know about them is that autism hasn't seemed to have had much of an impact. They have friends and a career, a spouse and kids etc. They often talk about how wonderful having autism is. Stuff like that. I'm mainly on wrong planet, but I'm sure these types have appeared here too. This isn't a matter of making assumptions. This is what people spell out about themselves. Everything about them makes me wonder how they could possibly be autistic. It's like they just really want to be autistic, because to them being autistic means a person is brilliant, unique, creative and superior to "NT's" ie 99% of the population.

 

[Mr Allen]

My not-so-popular opinions on autism would have to be:

• I do think a cure, if one is ever invented, should be allowed for aspie adults if they consent to it
• Seeing stories about an autistic student getting a date for the prom or winning a football game is not really empowering to me. I actually find it patronizing when people make such a huge deal about it because it's basically saying that autistic people aren't really capable of those things or that such things don't happen that often (which is far from the truth for many of us)
• I don't get that offended when people use "autism" as a joke

Cure for Autism? Won't happen, unless they invent Star Trek level medicinal technology.

@ZebraAspie 1: You are NOT "special"
2: OK you don't mind being called Aspie
3: No, Mainstream education is NOT suitable for Aspies However, neither is "Special Needs" education in some cases IMO.

 

[xudo]

I don't think that you can really judge a person's functioning level from online forums - you need to meet people in real life to know what they are like and what issues they have.

I couldn't agree more with this. I recently met a woman who I'd been penpals with years ago. We've been Facebook friends for nearly 8 years and despite living in the same city, we only met last week. From her posting on FB, you would never guess that she is on the spectrum, but it is immediately obvious in person. I knew she was on the spectrum, and even I was slightly taken aback, because of my preconceptions based on what I had seen online.

I come across online very differently to how I would if you were to meet me in person. I can get my point across in text reasonably eloquently, but in person (especially if I don't know someone well) I can be a mess.

 

[Ezra]

Cure for Autism? Won't happen, unless they invent Star Trek level medicinal technology.

@ZebraAspie 1: You are NOT "special"
2: OK you don't mind being called Aspie
3: No, Mainstream education is NOT suitable for Aspies However, neither is "Special Needs" education in some cases IMO.

Unfortunately special needs ed needs to cost a lot to have a chance of being good. In public schools such segregated classrooms are really just there to babysit problem kids and keep them away from the rest of the school.

 

[Progster]

What I'm talking about is people who talk about their life in an ordinary matter of fact way. What you get to know about them is that autism hasn't seemed to have had much of an impact. They have friends and a career, a spouse and kids etc. They often talk about how wonderful having autism is. Stuff like that. I'm mainly on wrong planet, but I'm sure these types have appeared here too. This isn't a matter of making assumptions. This is what people spell out about themselves. Everything about them makes me wonder how they could possibly be autistic. It's like they just really want to be autistic, because to them being autistic means a person is brilliant, unique, creative and superior to "NT's" ie 99% of the population.

Thanks for explaining. I understand what you mean now. For me, having autism does mean that one has some strengths that NTs may not have, but it also means that one has some significant difficulty in one's life, or one has had in the past, otherwise why would you need the diagnosis? For example, I have social difficulties, difficulties with anxiety and holding down a job, relationship difficulties (which don't necessarily show up on this forum). I certainly don't think that having autism makes me some kind of wonderful person, I'm a difficult person a lot of 'baggage' and low self-esteem, and I certainly don't consider myself superior, though I know that there are some who think that way.

 

[Ezra]

Are some saying that no one is the same in person as online? That it's always an apples to oranges scenario?

 

[Ezra]

Thanks for explaining. I understand what you mean now. For me, having autism does mean that one has some strengths that NTs may not have, but it also means that one has some significant difficulty in one's life, or one has had in the past, otherwise why would you need the diagnosis? For example, I have social difficulties, difficulties with anxiety and holding down a job, relationship difficulties (which don't necessarily show up on this forum). I certainly don't think that having autism makes me some kind of wonderful person, I'm a difficult person a lot of 'baggage' and low self-esteem, and I certainly don't consider myself superior, though I know that there are some who think that way.

Right. The thing is I can relate to you. And see that you clearly understand autism on a personal level. It's when I read posts where I get like the exact opposite of that and I'm puzzled and even annoyed by what I'm reading.

 

[Saphira]

Are some saying that no one is the same in person as online? That it's always an apples to oranges scenario?

From my experience of online dating, I would say this seems to fit with what I have discovered.

You can never know what a person is like from their written words. I know that people probably imagine me to be very unalike my real presentation.

 

[Aidan49]

Normally these days I wouldn't bring this up, but this supposed to be a controversial opinion. I doubt with me just making regular posts that anyone could tell that I have moderate to severe autism. Especially because they say that I write so well.But when I talk about myself and my lifestyle and experiences, then it becomes abundantly clear. I think the people who have gotten to know me online know me pretty well and how autism affects my life. And I've been able to do the same with them. And like I say with some people who share a lot about themselves, all kinds of personal details and life experience, I find myself wondering where their autism is outside of a faint whiff of it. But then again I have heard of Aspergers described as just a dash of autism.

I can't tell anyone's level of function in regards to autism, but i do get a bit of an idea on their iq and age based on my years on the internet.

 

[Aidan49]

Unfortunately special needs ed needs to cost a lot to have a chance of being good. In public schools such segregated classrooms are really just there to babysit problem kids and keep them away from the rest of the school.

And it quite often hampers the learning for others in those classes.

 

[sisselcakes]

Really interesting and tough one here. Obviously, there are certain behaviours that many of us truly cannot help, and for those, we do need to be excused. There are other behaviours that are every easy for many of us find easy to control and fit in with society on, and for those, we should not use ASD as an excuse.

But there's a massive middle ground of things that we can control, but cause us varying degrees of discomfort. To what degree should we be expected to control them? Under what circumstances?

When, and to what degree should those of us who stim be expected to control our stims so we don't look weird?

When, and to what degree should those of us with social difficulties be expected to attend social events so that we fit in with society better?

When, and to what degree, should those of us with sensory issues not quite bad enough to cause meltdowns be expected to put up with loud noises or flashing lights?

It's often very difficult to draw the line between knowing your limits and making excuses, and something that I think many of us struggle with.


I don't think this has to be an either/or thing. I have ASD, and it is part of my identity. But it's not my entire identity. ASD is part of who I am, but I am more than just my ASD.

I enjoyed your post. Those of us who are in relationships with people on the spectrum ask the same, and there seem to be no easy answers! I ask myself, how much leeway should I give my bf for this or that? What can he control versus what can he not? What accommodations should I make? I don't want to accommodate at my own peril, but I also don't want to have unrealistic expectations and pressure him too much. It's tough to figure out a balance.

 

[Ezra]

I'm not talking about guessing or deductive reasoning though. I mean what is said by a person that paints a very clear picture. And really to me the picture someone paints of themselves in a forum is all that matters in that little world. If they act rude and obnoxious on the forum thats who they are there. It doesn't make any difference if they're different irl. When I talk about myself, especially my autism, it's pretty easy to see where I am with it. I was diagnosed severe at 3 years old. I went to a private school for significant special needs. I'm nonverbal and withdrawn. I require significant support. I think from just that little bit of personal info you have a pretty good idea of my level of function.

 

[sisselcakes]

I think it may be a coping mechanism for them?

Good question. I notice my bf has a bit of a superiority complex which I actually find attractive, but underneath it all, he's very hard on himself.

I wonder if this observation by Nihil is due to the frustration caused by NT's who are "irrational" or emotion-driven.