Why I do not want to be "out" is I never want to be excused

[StopDiagnosingPeople]

Have you ever thought you're not that smart?

General comment, not a specific one.
(To clarify, I'm not saying you're dumb)

You're so resolute in you mind,it seems.
Black and White...

Sometimes it may be you that's not getting it.

Yeah. I'm only capable of thinking in black and white.

I am on the spectrum after all. HAVE WE NOT GONE OVER THAT YET???


THIS

THIS

THIS

THIS

IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT

AND WHY I LOATHE THE IDEA THAT I AM ONE OF THESE


YES I AM AUTISTIC

YES I HATE MYSELF OVER IT

STOP STOP STOP

SEE?

 

[StopDiagnosingPeople]

Oh and now I'm having a meltdown, like a blank-ing autistic.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Oh and now I'm having a meltdown, like a blank-ing autistic.

It doesn't mean you can't learn,does it?

It takes time and patience with yourself.

We can be flexible in the way we think.

 

[StopDiagnosingPeople]

And yes, I have thought that I am not smart.

Every moment of every day since I had this diagnosis. I have doubted everything, but mostly my intelligence. Also, my sanity.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

And yes, I have thought that I am not smart.

Every moment of every day since I had this diagnosis. I have doubted everything, but mostly my intelligence. Also, my sanity.

That's a good thing.

A normal thing.

I know you're going through it. It's as painful as hell.

I hope you stay strong and find a way to come to terms.
We all did in our own way - eventually!

 

[StopDiagnosingPeople]

Before being told I had ASD, I never truly knew what it was to hate oneself and to feel ones life was not only meaningless but never had any meaning. To look in the mirror and say "Is this a he? Or is this an it?" To realize that all along you never participated in the experience of human society. That moment Dwight from the office realizes how dense he is... he's still dense, but not he realizes it.

IS this emotion of self-hate even a real human emotion? Or a superficial autistic one? I will never know.

This is why we need to stop the over-diagnosis of people who are fine as is. The only term that even comes close is existential crisis.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

The only term that even comes close is existential crisis

Let's look at it that way.
It's the stages of grief

A life challenge.

There will be bigger challenges than this ahead of you - ahead of us all.

Managing our own pain is always tough

Will expressing it the way you are help you?

Keep doing it

 

[Nauti]

And now you've had the red pill forced down your unwilling throat, there's no going back.

You can't unknow that you're diagnosed but you can learn to see the diagnosis in a less harsh light.

There are a lot of amazing, creative, innovative, smart, kind, thoughtful, empathetic, skilled, talented and brilliant humans, who just happen to be on the Autism spectrum.

It's not a sentence to hate yourself over, its just a signpost that you might have a few particular issues in common with some other quirky, unique and diverse individuals.

You don't even have to like any of us, but for your own wellbeing and healthy sense of self, you are going to have to work on liking and accepting yourself, autism or not, you are you and you need to become your own best friend and ally if you want to make the most out of life.

 

[tree]

@StopDiagnosingPeople
"Before being told I had ASD, I never truly knew what it was to hate oneself and to feel ones life was not only meaningless but never had any meaning."

So you're saying you were ok enough before you got a label,
but since then you've been telling yourself a story about
how horrid your life is.

Seems like you'd be better off not telling yourself that story.

 

[Juliettaa]

Chronically difficult to ever get through to anyone. At least I used to not know I was like that.

Well now know surely that's a positive thing?

I too think you're approaching this all wrong. The diagnosis doesn't change who you are. You're still the same person, only now you have a reason for challenges you've encountered.

Some of your previous posts and your user name are unhelpful to you. Many people wanted their diagnosis as it often brings relief and acceptance. Just because your diagnosis didn't do that for you doesn't mean that what you think/believe applies to everyone and vice versa.

You can't turn back the clock but you can work on changing your negative thought processes into positive ones.

 

[Otenba]

And as far as being treated like a middle aged white guy, is that who you are? Because that's who I am. Treat me like Joe Blow off the street, but presume I am NT.

You know you cannot control how people treat you, right?

You have some control on if others find out if your on the spectrum, but beyond that, you cannot expect others to be how you want towards you just because you said so. That's not how social things work. Others that know your autistic will tell others you're autistic if they wish to - you cannot control that either.

You can make these unrealistic demands of others who do know all you want, you're going to be disappointed when people let you down again and again. If someone doesn't know then they're more likely to assume you're NT but if they already know, then how they treat you is their choice, not yours, and you need to be prepared for that.

Best wishes with finding some peace with who you are and your place in the world.