Why would any women want me? Why should i bother to date?

[LucyPurrs]

You are being totally help rejecting. If this is your usual pattern, you're engaging in self defeating behavior which is just perpetuating your problems. Everyone here has tried their best to help you- maybe you need to stop discounting them and listen for a change. Or maybe you don't really want things to change?

 

[jovanovic]

You are being totally help rejecting. If this is your usual pattern, you engaging in self defeating behavior which is just perpetuating your problems. Everyone here has tried their best to help you- maybe you need to stop discounting them and listen for a change. Or maybe you don't really want things to change?

no, problem is i have already tried everything you people tell me to do. and none of you are realistic, read my first post again and compare me with other guys, i am truly at the bottom of the lake. why would a woman want me? why would anyone want to be my friend? what do i have to offer? nothing.

of course i want things to change, i dont want to be alone my whole life, but i am forced to be alone because of my flaws. change can not be done since i failed at fixing my flaws.

 

[tree]

because people belive there is someone for everyone, its just false. people believe a guy who has as many flaws as me can be in a relationship is truly deluded. love is not for everyone, its for good looking persons and average persons and 1 or 2 ugly ones.

Ah, I see.
You want to convince others
that they are unrealistic to believe
there is hope for love for every person.

 

[LucyPurrs]

no, problem is i have already tried everything you people tell me to do. and none of you are realistic, read my first post again and compare me with other guys, i am truly at the bottom of the lake. why would a woman want me? why would anyone want to be my friend? what do i have to offer? nothing.

of course i want things to change, i dont want to be alone my whole life, but i am forced to be alone because of my flaws. change can not be done since i failed at fixing my flaws.

No you have NOT done everything that people here are suggesting you do. Number one is to change your attitude which you have not done. Negativity breeds negativity- your negativity is so strong others are picking up on it and avoiding you. You DO have the power to change that but if you chose not to, nothing will change.

 

[onlything]

I'm sorry but I cannot see the point in continuing this discussion. It doesn't seem like anything will change your mind, whatever we say, you rebuke it due to all the words you were fed through years from your family and other people around you. What you need is to focus on yourself and your therapy, not on finding a friend/gf. No one wants a friend that is this negative, even if for what they think is a good reason. You've got a shaped view of yourself and you need much more than a few strangers to tell you they think you're mistaken. We are here to read what you write and answer from time to time, but we are not miracle workers and whatever you expect from us, it's going to be hard to achieve.

I don't know what you want and without it I cannot solve the problem you have. Apologies.

And, although I hate these words myself, I have to say: You've got an attitude and if you want to proceed in life, you need to drop it.

 

[SunnyDay16]

no, problem is i have already tried everything you people tell me to do. and none of you are realistic, read my first post again and compare me with other guys, i am truly at the bottom of the lake. why would a woman want me? why would anyone want to be my friend? what do i have to offer? nothing.

of course i want things to change, i dont want to be alone my whole life, but i am forced to be alone because of my flaws. change can not be done since i failed at fixing my flaws.

You came here wanting us to give you advice, correct? We're giving the advice to you.

I don't know what other advice we can give you other than to work on yourself and your self-esteem. You can't have a healthy relationship with another person if you don't even have one with yourself. Taking care of you should be your first priority out of anything else.

If you didn't want any advice in the first place, then I apologize for misinterpreting your post. But, the majority of us assumed you wanted advice, so we're giving you advice. Your problem seems to be low self-worth and defensiveness whenever we've tried to suggest something to you.

 

[AspieOtaku]

Maybe find a woman with low esteem to match yours?

 

[WildCat]

You might want to switch your focus to something else in the meanwhile then, something not involving women. I want to insert a quote here in an attempt to pass wisdom, but my memory for verbal stuff is flaky. Got a good verbal memory? Well, that's one thing you've got me beat on

You can go ahead and keep on with the self-destructive thoughts and see if that works...and believe me, speaking from experience it doesn't...or maybe find something to do that you can be good at and see what follows from there. The replies in this thread have been generous and helpful, but it's your call in the end.

 

[jovanovic]

Ah, I see.
You want to convince others
that they are unrealistic to believe
there is hope for love for every person.

where does that even come from? why do people belive this crap? its not a right to be in a relationship, not everyone will be in a relationship, it has always been like that. its a sexist mindset with sayings such as "there is someone for everyone" "you will meet someone one day".

some people will never meet anyone because they are mentally ill or have physical pain or die early or live in a small city and cant leave it or because they are too ugly or too weird or in my case very ugly and very weird at the same time.

 

[jovanovic]

No you have NOT done everything that people here are suggesting you do. Number one is to change your attitude which you have not done. Negativity breeds negativity- your negativity is so strong others are picking up on it and avoiding you. You DO have the power to change that but if you chose not to, nothing will change.

And how do you know that? Why would i lie?

I am not a negative person, its just in this thread where i am venting. Everyone is venting/moaing sometimes. I am just being realistic about me and my chances.

Even with the best attitude in the world no woman would want me because i look like crap and have a weird voice.

 

[jovanovic]

I'm sorry but I cannot see the point in continuing this discussion. It doesn't seem like anything will change your mind, whatever we say, you rebuke it due to all the words you were fed through years from your family and other people around you. What you need is to focus on yourself and your therapy, not on finding a friend/gf. No one wants a friend that is this negative, even if for what they think is a good reason. You've got a shaped view of yourself and you need much more than a few strangers to tell you they think you're mistaken. We are here to read what you write and answer from time to time, but we are not miracle workers and whatever you expect from us, it's going to be hard to achieve.

I don't know what you want and without it I cannot solve the problem you have. Apologies.

And, although I hate these words myself, I have to say: You've got an attitude and if you want to proceed in life, you need to drop it.

Yeah well, if you want to leave then leave....nice talking to you. I get that its a very dark thread but such threads must be allowed too.

I would think this about myself even if nobody ever told me a negative word, its a fact that i have those flaws.

I am not really focusing on getting friends and gf right now, what i am doing is looking ahead to the future to look what my life will look like and a realistic view is that i will never be in a relationship and never have friends and that makes me sad, its boring and depressing to live alone your whole life when you dont want to.

What i want, yeah i am not sure either to be honest. I guess i am just sad and i want to talk to some people, i have nobody to talk with.

 

[LucyPurrs]

OK you win.

 

[jovanovic]

Maybe find a woman with low esteem to match yours?

They are not intrested in me.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Give up then.

Enjoy life without it

 

[kay]

where does that even come from? why do people belive this crap? its not a right to be in a relationship, not everyone will be in a relationship, it has always been like that. its a sexist mindset with sayings such as "there is someone for everyone" "you will meet someone one day".

some people will never meet anyone because they are mentally ill or have physical pain or die early or live in a small city and cant leave it or because they are too ugly or too weird or in my case very ugly and very weird at the same time.

You are right, not everyone will end up in a romantic relationship. But that is not he only kind of love and there is always hope. Hope isn't the same as a sure thing. I know a beautiful woman who just hasn't ever found a guy she likes all that well, though she has over the years gained a good set of friends through church. So, there certainly is a chance that you will be single your entire life. There are advantages. Focus on those. Focus on your interest and things you care about. But please know that looks really are not what love is about. Real love isn't that superficial. And your perceived ugliness certainly will not keep you from having friends. ASD is going to make it hard though, it's just not as easy for us autistic people to make friends. But we can. Just focus on doing your best and the things you enjoy most. Show people respect, be nice, get out and get around people a little bit every now and again and please try to not feel so bad. I went forever with no social life but it did happen. While there are no guarantees that you will ever make friends or get into a romantic relationship you just don't know what might happen. It's worth at least being hopeful. I know how difficult it can be thinking you are too ugly for anything. I've been there. Really. Some of the same "flaws" you mention. But at least I didn't have a bunch of people telling me that I was ugly. Very sorry you have that in your life. That's all I am going to say because you said you just needed to rant and that's fine. But do hope you feel better about things someday.

 

[Dalton]

Honestly I’m sure you’re just being over dramatic(happens to the best of us)

 

[AspieOtaku]

If your worried about looking bad then focus on making yourself look sexy, love yourself and not beat yourself up, get some swag, a good haircut some nice clothes, perhaps a nice car that turns heads, some collogne that has pheramones that drive women crazy, be a smooth talker and listen to her and youll get a woman np, you need to love yourself, being negative chases em away. Look up your cancer sign as well when I mean Zodiac, I am Libra and stick to those matches when I can.

 

[onlything]

If you don't see any worth in yourself, people won't see it either. The first step to take here is to start working on how you're thinking about yourself.

 

[Mary Anne]

yep, but who likes a guy who is:

virgin
very ugly
very weird
have few friends or zero friends
bad job

Being a virgin is extremely charming and sexy to some!
At least you HAVE a job! My gosh, there are a lot of men out there who are lazy and do not want to work. These two things make you attractive in my eyes. As I said previously, some ARE attractive to unattrave people. Also, what I think of as “attractive,” someone else would call “ugly.” So that label is not meaningful what so ever. Ugly can be very sexy to some people. Look at super rock stars Mick Jagger, or Steven Tyler. Women swooned over them even before they were famous. They were always “unattractive” by current standards. There are tons of men in the world who are extremely unattractive who found love and happiness. You might think to expand your social circles, but I realize t is easier said than done.

It’s your lack of confidence that is stopping y

 

[aspieoutlaw89]

i would rather date an aspie woman than an nt woman.