Words Do Matter

[KevinMao133]

“Man Up”

”You are too soft”

”You are nothing”

Maybe to some those words are nothing, to me that matters

Words do have an effect. In many ways, words matter more than action

You see if I beat someone up physically, they can heal and time cures all wounds

But insulting someone repeatedly, it’s a different story

Once you mess with the mind, it’s different. To destroy someone, all you have to do is to destroy their mind and make them mentally believe they are weak

Just my thoughts

 

[Slime_Punk]

Yeah, that whole 'sticks and stones' thing is a lie. Words can break your heart

 

[Luca]

Some of the verbal and psychological abuse I've dealt with has had a stronger lasting effect than some of the physical abuse.

 

[KevinMao133]

Some of the verbal and psychological abuse I've dealt with has had a stronger lasting effect than some of the physical abuse.

me too, especially from family members. hurts

 

[SusanLR]

I've always said I'd rather take a beating than a tongue lashing.

There are a few things in life you can never take back. Words are one of them
and I'll always remember them.
Sorry doesn't cut it with me. Sorry is a sorry word.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I am thinking the effects of words on a person's psyche is highly individualized. If you were to talk to people who grew up prior to the 1980's and 90's,...like myself,...our world was immersed in very open, racial, insulting, and derogatory language. Free speech was,...free speech,...there was no filter,...from anyone. We just grew up desensitized to it. That said, we had other coping mechanisms,...we didn't discuss religion and politics,...those were taboo, private things. We didn't have any problem, at all, with physical confrontation. We didn't have computers and cell phones,...we had to deal with people face-to-face. So, the people that tended to be the most obnoxious were the people who thought they could also defend themselves when the person they insulted were ready for a physical confrontation. Those that couldn't handle themselves physically,...just kept their mouths shut.

It's a different world out there.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Children will listen. Here is Mandy Patinkin on that theme that juxtaposes two amazing playwrights.

 

[Darkkin]

People learn to fight with words just as some people fight with fists. Allowing for the use of one, while condemning the use of the other signals problematic dissonance.

Hit somebody in the face it's fine. Call someone a name and the name caller is held accountable. The guy who took the physical hit, he'll get over. The guy who got called a mean name, is scarred for life...

It is a bit more complicated than that, especially when it comes to verbal abuse. There will be elements of malice, manipulation, anger, and hatred involved. Hate speech is called hate speech for a reason.

Seriously people need to be accountable for their own behavior, both physical and verbal. It is impossible to disarm free speech, just as it is impossible to disarm those fixated on physical violence.

Keep in mind there is a difference between disagreement and hate speech. One is a difference of opinions, one is designed to harm.

 

[Alexej]

“Man Up”

This comments sucks,
What idiom of manhood is it promulgating? Certainly not one that I support.

I saw a tee shirt yesterday "some boys get sad too" - which I thought was brilliant.
Surely we all can be strong and weak at different times and in different contexts.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Whenever I think of strength vs. weakness, masculinity vs. femininity, violence vs. peace,...there should be a balance.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

make them mentally believe they are weak

That is the messages I kept on getting. Of course in the 50s to early 60s the messages we were bombarded with to conform to the male stereotype was particularly injurious to the self concept of many of us, especially those sensitive and shy. Men who look back at those times with nostalgia have mush fer brains.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

That is the messages I kept on getting. Of course in the 50s to early 60s the messages we were bombarded with to conform to the male stereotype was particularly injurious to the self concept of many of us, especially those sensitive and shy. Men who look back at those times with nostalgia have $*** fer brains.

I am thinking a lot of this comes down to the differences in perspective and interactions between "sheep" (marginalized, sensitive, and shy,...most likely to be victimized), "wolves" (the people who take advantage of them,...full of bravado), and "sheepdogs" (the ones who are the protectors and who are truly "alpha"). Words effect people differently,...important to note before using them.

A cheesy Hollywood scene, but you can see all three characters here.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am thinking a lot of this comes down to the differences in perspective and interactions between "sheep" (marginalized, sensitive, and shy,...most likely to be victimized), "wolves" (the people who take advantage of them,...full of bravado), and "sheepdogs" (the ones who are the protectors and who are truly "alpha"). Words effect people differently,...important to note before using them.

A cheesy Hollywood scene, but you can see all three characters here.

w

Then, there are us sheep who refused to be predated and were isolated instead, though that created its own issues. But, I think the real sheeple are those wolves who bounce from one thing to another, because they were being herded to follow erzats popularity cooked up by madison avenue types.

 

[KevinMao133]

This comments sucks,
What idiom of manhood is it promulgating? Certainly not one that I support.

I saw a tee shirt yesterday "some boys get sad too" - which I thought was brilliant.
Surely we all can be strong and weak at different times and in different contexts.

agreed, as a man I’m stuck between being myself and being someone I hate, someone with a huge ego. The ego me is different than the real me yet most of the time I have to pretend

 

[Fino]

For me, it depends on who's doing the insulting. If it's not one of the few people that are important to me, then anything a person says will have no effect on me. I've been verbally abused by random morons all my life, but I can't remember anything they said. But if my best friend were to say a single insult, it would stick to me for life. Alternatively, I find physical abuse more scarring. The fear, shame, and embarrassment of being beaten up is far more scarring than whatever meaningless slander they manage to come up with to fill the silence.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Then, there are us sheep who refused to be predated and were isolated instead, though that created its own issues. But, I think the real sheeple are those wolves who bounce from one thing to another, because they were being herded to follow erzats popularity cooked up by madison avenue types.

The example I gave was exemplified in the movie "American Sniper" when the main character, American Sniper, Chris Kyle was a boy, and this speech was given to him and his brother, by his father around the breakfast table. It's now known as "The Sheep, the Wolf, and the Sheepdog" quote.

Which is more or less, the example portrayed in my other post.

What you are describing as "Sheeple" are the followers,...people without a strong sense of themselves that rely upon others,...influencers,...to emulate. Those people can also be the "Wolves" in my first example,...as you've already described,...the people most likely to be influenced into being bullies.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

We just grew up desensitized to it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias
I bet that if you do concentrate and make an efford to remind, you will remember some people who isolated themselves, suicided, were forced to change groups or were permanently affected. I do remind them.

I could have helped some of them more, but did not do It.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The example I gave was exemplified in the movie "American Sniper" when the main character, American Sniper, Chris Kyle was a boy, and this speech was given to him and his brother, by his father around the breakfast table. It's now known as "The Sheep, the Wolf, and the Sheepdog" quote.

Which is more or less, the example portrayed in my other post.

What you are describing as "Sheeple" are the followers,...people without a strong sense of themselves that rely upon others,...influencers,...to emulate. Those people can also be the "Wolves" in my first example,...as you've already described,...the people most likely to be influenced into being bullies.

their is a third group of people that are neither, just want to be left alone.

 

[Darkkin]

There are a few others, too. But words can do more than hurt. Even awkward or discombobulated they can help organize and express chaotic emotions in a constructive way. Akin to the process of new stars forming from a nebula, it is a gradual shift, but you can see a change in the way others write.

While stylistically language might not change, the consciousness does, the effort a individual puts in starts to show in subtle ways, like talking about things like this instead of just anger.

That is the curious thing about tools. It is all in how you use it. Look at words like a wrench, some people pick it up and swing it, uncaring of who it strikes. Others use it to loosen the bolt on the blocked U - bend to clear the obstruction.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias
I bet that if you do concentrate and make an efford to remind, you will remember some people who isolated themselves, suicided, were forced to change groups or were permanently affected. I do remind them.

I could have helped some of them more, but did not do It.

Perhaps. The logic error is likely due to the fact that we didn't have media coverage that we do now, nor the tracking of these statistics. I know I was desensitized to the language of the time and frankly never gave it a thought, as I suspect many of us in my generation did not either. All you have to do is read literature or view TV or movies of the era to understand the language,...then compare to today. I watched the 1974 comedy Blazing Saddles a few weeks ago, and my jaw dropped. But I had watched that movie several times before and never thought anything of the language other than it was funny. Our mindset and cultural tolerance for language was very different, but having said that,...as kids, we could be absolutely brutal to the kids that we perceived as "weak",...and looking back as a mature adult,...I could not imagine being one of those kids. Of course, I was not one to be picked on, so my perspective may be different.