You might be an Aspie/Autie if?/Jokes

[Chance]

Don't think this beats anything, simply a habit.
Recite the numbers on the signposts that indicate how many kilometers we've traveled and then convert them to miles.
Then the numbers on the exits for places passed, counting them down until I reach my exit. I also recite aloud the names of businesses along the way.
One of my favourites is a place that manufactures recreation vehicles, some of the rv's are called safari condo's.
My Father, did the exact same thing.

I read license plates... add up numbers, make acronyms from the letters (sick mind) : )
Some are just way too easy

 

[Streetwise]

Line up everything according to height, put everything into piles.
Sentimental about everything I have ever owned.

 

[RiverSong]

Hmm, let me see... you might be an aspie if:

+ you can't stand walking through the perfume section of a department store
+ you literally gag whenever people who've bathed in cologne/perfume walk pass you
+ you hate all things tags especially those itchy ones they now put on the lower left insides of shirts. I mean seriously? WHY?!
+ you can't sleep unless everything - inside temperature, puffiness of pillow, darkness of the room, weight of blanket - is just right and even then...
+ you can't sleep because your brain won't shut up
+ you HATE wool fabrics
+ you can't stand anything sticky on your hands
+ everything must be lined up neat and in order wherever you are
+ your desk or room is so clean that people actually complain about it (them HATERS)
+ you may be guilty of straitening other people's things (because why the heck are other people so unorganized?)
+ people ask you questions regarding random or obscure facts that you readily know the answer to
+ people you know refer to you as "tech support" whenever some tech isn't working
+ people think you're joking because you're literal response couldn't be serious
+ you become engrossed in an interest and half the day goes by before you realize you haven't eaten, showered, and why is the house so dark?
+ you're actually happy and having a good day, maybe even smiling and talking more than usual, and everyone looks at you like you're nuts

 

[Chance]

Line up everything according to height, put everything into piles.
Sentimental about everything I have ever owned.

When I mail out my bills I have to arrange the envelopes by size before I drop them in collection box. Not too sentimental... Maybe because just didn't have a stable younger years. I learned to live light, but that's not really too bad I guess... : )

 

[CyborgSpaceKitten]

-*Buying snacks at the movie theater*
Clerk--Enjoy your movie!
Me- you too!


So bad at social interaction

 

[Full Steam]

You felt personally violated and betrayed by the star wars movies 4,5 and 6.

...and jar jar binks.


There's no excuse for jar jar binks.

 

[Full Steam]

...and betraying a widely held special interest like starwars should have seen George Lucas do time.


...and the remake of the original series with "cute" aliens was the pits.

Starwars was my first, huge special interest and George Lucas pissed on it, and broke the heart of the Sci Fi world.

I don't think I'm being over sensitive, do you?

 

[pax]

I think the original was the only one I actually saw in a cinema - 2 and 3 I watched on free to air tv and didn't think they were a patch on the original. I didn't even bother with 4,5,6. Maybe I'm the wrong person to ask

 

[Justagal]

You can give a full explanation as to why the color blue was called 'blue' but spend ten minutes walking around the house trying to locate the cup of coffee you just made.

 

[DaRKMsOul18]

How do you know an Aspie girl likes you?


She stares at your shoes instead of hers!

 

[felines are superior]

You know you're an aspie if you chase the ice cream truck just to listen to the music.

You know you're an aspie if you fall asleep in the dentist's chair when they put the vest on you to protect you from the X-rays.

The police send a search team after a missing person report, and they find you by following your footsteps on the beach, managing to tell them apart from hundreds of others. No one else can walk on their toes for so long.

You shirt gets lost in the dry cleaners, and they find you pretty easily because they remember the only person whose shirts are all missing their labels.

You can tell where every dog and feral cat in the neighborhood live, but you don't recognize your neighbors. That's a sure sign you're an aspie.

You know you're an aspie if you cross the road to avoid saying 'Hello' to people you know.

You wouldn't talk to other kids your own age as a child but engaged in a two-hour conversation with the babysitter about how long caveman lived.

You know you're an aspie if you freak out when learning flapping might damage your wrists.

Someone tickles you with a feather, and you go through the roof.

Right now, you're looking up 'Go through the roof' expression on the net.

You ask your doctor to knock you unconscious with a chair to the head so you won't feel the blood test.

Your flying saucer lands in an alien planet that looks like earth and is populated by aliens who look like people and speak a human language, but have their own social codes. You realize this isn't earth when you accidentally find the planet map. Then you definitely know you're an aspie.

 

[JB2018]

You're upset when a big supermarket re-arranges their shelves.

On the Interstate, it used to bug you a lot that the exits are not numbered consecutively -- until you learn that they're actually numbered according to the mileage distance from zero, which is set at the border of your state. How cool is that?

+ you can't sleep because your brain won't shut up
+ people ask you questions regarding random or obscure facts that you readily know the answer to
+ people you know refer to you as "tech support" whenever some tech isn't working
+ people think you're joking because you're literal response couldn't be serious
+ you're actually happy and having a good day, maybe even smiling and talking more than usual, and everyone looks at you like you're nuts

Yep!

 

[Progster]

1. You get really stressed out with supermarket pizzas because the topping isn't evenly or symmetrically distributed and you can't start baking it until you have rearranged the topping in the correct way.
2. You get stressed out at someone else's pizza topping not being evenly distributed, so you rearrange it for them.
3. A picture of a pizza with uneven topping really stresses you out.
4. You can't enter the supermarket until you've read all the number plates of the cars in the car park. You spot number plates the same way as other people spot trains.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

. You can't enter the supermarket until you've read all the number plates of the cars in the car park. You spot number plates the same way as other people spot trains.

You remember the number plates of the cars in the street you lived in when your were a child.

 

[Illumination]

#1: You can't go into someone else's bathroom without holding your nose shut.
#2: You memorize every country, and can state all the oil-producing countries when asked in a game of logo.
#3: You research a specific questions for hours, and than another questions, and than another question without realizing its been a lot longer than thirty minutes.
#4: You sit there, refreshing a page continuously for a hour waiting for a update. Than you look at the time and realize it hasn't been "a few minutes".
#5: You check your email every other minute for two days after you send out an email.
#6: You have memorized dozens of passwords for various accounts you hold.
#7: You get so intensely focused on something your reading that you forget you were watching something, and have it playing it the other tab for a hour before you realize.
#8: You re-watch the same video dozens of times, and are still entertained by it.

 

[Illumination]

#9: Your in the passenger seat, while the driver plays unbearably loud music, day dreaming of another reality, the same scene continuously for 3 hours.
#10: You re-write the same passage a dozen times to ensure that it contains nothing that could be taken the wrong way, and that it matches your desired style perfectly.
#11: You think too far ahead in a conversation and accidentally scramble your words "Hey, you how doing are? (Hey, how are you doing?)".
#12: You hate the sound of a door bell.

 

[Sabrina]

You feel that your boundaries have been broken if someone suddenly knocks on the door.

 

[Bella Pines]

I like this one! So true!

if you wonder why everyone's favorite character/actor in films/TV shows is always the one who acts like an Aspie , yet Aspies aren't people's favorite in real life.

 

[Nightingale121]

How do you know an Aspie girl likes you?


She stares at your shoes instead of hers!

Or shoes are her special interest.

4. You can't enter the supermarket until you've read all the number plates of the cars in the car park. You spot number plates the same way as other people spot trains.

You remember the number plates of the cars in the street you lived in when your were a child.

You have a general fascination with number plates.

You associate the numbers and letters on number plates with your other interests once you spotted them, so it gets even more fun.

#10: You re-write the same passage a dozen times to ensure that it contains nothing that could be taken the wrong way, and that it matches your desired style perfectly.

I write emails at work on a daily basis and I can relate to this a lot, especially when it come to non-standard texts and explanatory texts.
I try to get over this or at least tone my perfectionism down because I cannot spend all my time re-writing emails until they're perfect; there are other tasks to do as well. I'm better at dealing with imperfect messages now than I used to be, but it still takes quite some time of re-writing until I finally hit the "Send" button.
It's still better than having to call these people...

You rather spend a lot of time with re-writing your emails or texts than just making a phone call to talk about the topic.
You write very long explanatory emails to make sure you include all the relevant details, probably ending up overexplaining everything.

 

[Illumination]

@Nightingale121
Sorry, when I said "more than thirty minutes", I meant you believe its only been thirty minutes, but when you look at the time it's a lot "more than thirty minutes", and has actually been hours. I'm gonna edit that one and fix it to properly say what I meant.