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I'm thinking of getting my hair layered or something. I don't know if it would look good or bad. I have gotten my hair trimmed, colored, and gotten extensions in the past year or so but I have not had an actual haircut. One thing I know for sure is that I do not look good with bangs/fringe lol
Finally caught up on private messages! Yay! Being sick gave me a lot of time to reply to everything lol
As if I wasn’t already feeling pretty down, I think I have shingles
I woke up with a very painful, bumpy rash all over my lower body. I’m not sure if I was ever vaccinated for shingles or chicken pox because my childhood medical history is mostly unknown.
I’m tired of having to be strong. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep doing every single thing in my life by myself. But when I’m true to myself and stop masking, I lose everyone. Now I understand why some people feel that being autistic decreases their quality of life. All I have ever wanted was to feel accepted and loved, and I’ve lost most of the chance of that. I’m not even accepted or loved by my own family.
A long time ago, I posted a question about my laptop webcam not working. It's probably been over a month now, but I solved the problem just now. There is a button on my keyboard that turns the camera on and off. Now I feel like a dumbass lol
Two people yelled and swore at me today. One person who cut me off while I was driving, who acted like it was my fault. The other was parents of some kids who my friend’s (very friendly, small) dog approached in the park. They cussed me out in front of their two young daughters!! My response to them swearing at me was “He’s not my dog, but have a nice day” (sarcastic) to which they responded with a lot of F bombs.
It got up to 90 degrees today so my hair is in a ponytail now lol, it did not stay straightened…
I’m out with my friends for a birthday party, and all of a sudden I’m super nauseous and my stomach hurts. I didn’t even eat anything yet and I’m not drinking alcohol. I’ve been in the bathroom for like 10 minutes
It is so hot in my house right now, holy crap… Normally, this time of year is still pretty cold. But it’s going to be about 80 degrees again today.
I haven’t been as physically active since I broke my nose a few weeks ago, and I’ve been eating a lot, and my stomach looks pretty big. I don’t personally care that much but I know people will say stuff about it and it does hurt my feelings. I wish people could just accept that all bodies are different and leave everyone alone.
85 degrees (Fahrenheit) here today. It’s a beautiful day but just going to the park with my friend was exhausting! I think I’m going to make some fruit smoothies.
Training
I still feel guilty for not responding to some messages, but I should probably mention that I feel more comfortable with real-time chatting (like using a messenger app) than writing long-form messages or emails. I end up writing way more than I can keep up with and I have an easier time expressing myself and getting to know people in a live chat. I already do this with some people from here. PM me if you'd like info.
I haven't really been on here today. I'm doing slightly better, just still upset about the stuff I posted about earlier. I feel really bad for not giving anyone longer responses right now but I'm still pretty burned out. I'm going out to a bowling alley and a nightclub on Friday for a friend's birthday and I'm excited, but I know it will drain me even more. I am definitely not going to drink even if everyone else is.
I will never be capable of hating a human being the way my extended family despises me. I hope I never see any of them again because they are well aware of the trauma and terror they have inflicted on me and they are happy about it. I know this from hearing what their response was to me not going to Easter. I don’t know why it matters to them because most of them have said they wish I was dead.
Hope everyone had a happy Easter (if you celebrate.) I discovered that Enzo is mesmerized by golf lol
I’m exhausted. Both physically and mentally. I have been sleeping for hours. -
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