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Metalhead

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  • Another night of insomnia, but at least I should get some good sleep when I get home from work in 12 hours from now.
    I feel like making a mostly veggie stir fry with a small amount of beef thrown in, then using it to top a couple of scoops of jasmine rice.
    Jonn
    Jonn
    I am more into a protein diet, mainly because some vegetables have high histamine or carb content, and bc of my diabetes.
    But what you have described sounds healthy/great.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    That sounds really nice and filling!
    tree
    tree
    Momentarily misread "mostly veggies stir fry" as "monthly veggie stir fry" and thought
    *wow, that would be how much? A lot of stir fry, enough for a month.*
    Today is a paid day off work. I think I will go out for breakfast. Get some waffles going on. Then hit the gym a couple of hours later.
    I feel like crawling into bed and staying there the entire three day weekend.
    Aneka
    Aneka
    That's what I feel like too...
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I have a guest, it's a lot of cooking. Kimchi grilled sandwich, curry salad, teriyaki anything, Korean ramen, burritos, and waffles. :)
    QueenOfFrance87
    QueenOfFrance87
    Same here
    So I broke my sobriety today. I am such a loser. And I only have myself to blame. The beer tasted great, though.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    You are a humanbeing. A flawed, well meaning, humanbeing.

    I too still fall into those negative traps myself. But when I do, I journal everything I was thinking. Once I calm down enough, I'll read it over and try to recall why I thought the way I did. Sometimes our own words leave clues to that answer.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You aren't a failure at all. You didn't drink for a very long time. Do you know what thoughts or triggers pushed you into that black hole of emotions? I wouldn't focus on what you were drinking, l would focus on what you were feeling.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Did you get drunk? Probably not. Maybe a little bit? Well, that happens sometimes. Do you still have an impressive sobriety record? Sure you do, because you go for massive stretches of time without drinking.

    You're tougher than your demon family and I know you are going to be okay.
    I am vomiting up coffee grounds. The last time this happened was a decade ago, the doctors discovered a massive ulcer. I hope this is not the same thing all over again.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I went to my primary care doctor. He sent me to the ER. I will keep you updated.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Oh dear. Please let us know.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I have another ulcer. Not the worst thing in the world, not the best either. No more junk food for me for a while.
    I feel like diving into a miasma of self pity, having a self pity party complete with Red Velvet cake and French Vanilla ice cream, blowing out 45 candles, one candle for every year I wasted.

    OK, I just made myself laugh by typing that out, so it can't be all that bad.
    Sorry for being so whiny recently. I will overcome this clinical depression eventually if I keep working on building myself up in the meanwhile.
    M
    Misty Avich
    No need to apologise, it's healthy to get things off your chest. I hope things work out for you. *Hugs*
    Maybe a break from the Internet and from news media is not the worst idea in the world for me, at least until I feel a bit more stable on the sleep front.
    I need to sleep for a few hours, a few days, a few weeks. I need to hibernate. I feel such strong fatigue with life.
    I am craving fried chicken, Mountain Dew, potato wedges. Things that are bad for me.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Honestly, the fried chicken and potato wedges are good once in a while foods. Though Mountain Dew is the soda I'd not reccomend, even if I still drank soda.
    I just consumed a cup of hot peppermint tea. I am trying to wind myself down.
    Judge
    Judge
    Yikes. The mint tea I drink has plenty of caffeine in it.
    tree
    tree
    Mint itself doesn't contain caffeine.
    High caffeine "mint tea" would have to be a blend.

    I'm allergic to caffeine.
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