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Tony Ramirez

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  • Dunkin Donuts hanging with free WiFi watching Garfield, Smith Street Deli takeout which I ate at home. Then a long over 2 hour air conditioned nap in my room and I feel much better.
    I'm going to Dunkin donuts where there better not be guys/girls Im getting the hell out of this dump before I lose it now
    tree
    tree
    You get pushed around by your feelings.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I'm here. It's almost all guys. One mother maybe grandma and young daughters kid. What a relief 😮‍💨. Also listening to the rockey soundtrack enjoying an slushy ice coffee in ac.
    tree
    tree
    Yes, it must be a relief to not be telling yourself how awful it is to see couples.
    If I don't get out of this damn cafe I am going to lose it but I am going to lose it waking home seeing the same crap guys/girls and damn cars turning. I will see how much and Uber costs? Damnit it's $18.
    My friend that suppose to meet me at the park stood me up.
    tree
    tree
    Do you both have phones?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    He texted me saying he missed me but did not care before when I messaged him before to reply. Now I have to deal with couples and guys/girls at the damn cafe or my pita father phone got to ask you a question
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Oops, that sucks big time.
    Woke up again before praying for a better day. What a waste of time. Not only did I wake up from a dream that a woman wanted to be my close friend and we hung out but my father complained that I used to much water using that bucket to flushing that piss full toilet. What a start to a terrible day life.
    I'm going to be in NYC Brooklyn hell hole for the rest of my life.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I am in Brooklyn will update.
    oregano
    oregano
    There's plenty of cultures where hetero (not to mention non-hetero) couples walking around engrossed in lovey dovey PDA is greatly frowned upon. That seems to be a trigger for you. Chinese (Flatbush) and Orthodox Jewish (Crown Heights) cultures really don't like public affection.
    oregano
    oregano
    There are other areas of Brooklyn and Queens where the immigrant populations hate public PDA. Those are just the two I've read of (never been there myself). African cultures REALLY hate public affection, lots of those there.
    I want to end my life so bad but there is no information online on how to do it because the stupid protection team wants you to prevent it written by people who's lives are great in relationships.
    I keep waking up alive that's the problem just to suffer another horrible day.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Hey, Tony, sorry you feel down today. Just get up and do anything. I hate those days, too. Just realize you have good days, and bad days.
    tree
    tree
    If a person could manage to wake up dead they could get a lot of
    work as an extra in a zombie movie.
    I am the only person in all my friends that know that is a forever single disabled college dropout learning disabled idiot unemployed broke loser with no travel future, purpose or spouse.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    there are lots of jobs out there that don't require college education, how come you never bothered to apply or seek those types of jobs over the past 20 plus years?
    T
    thejuice
    I think with Tony's mental health and mood swings it could be a barrier. Jobs need you to be very consistent, almost droid like. He'd be better off testing the waters with volunteering.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    yeah, i mean like basic retail jobs or customer service jobs, or a restaurant job
    I am so confused. Someone who I thought was not a friend I randomly ran into I did not recognize, but she did and could have ignored me. All this time I thought she never had time to talk to me, but she spent a good 20 minutes and longer talking to me. I am confused and tired of hearing fake rumors from my mother and others.
    When I finally die single and alone, single women will be celebrating with parties and joy over my corpse.
    T
    thejuice
    T
    thejuice
    @Steelbookcollector217 Women are more valuable, look at our reproductive crisis. Reproduction is obviously not their only value, but it's a pretty big deal. I'd argue it is why it's been women and children first in our society, they are our future. Whereas we just compete to be part of it.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    an analogy im a fan of, is that women have a limited number of eggs, men produce unlimited sperm, and something that is rare or in scarcity, is gonna be more valuable than something that is common.
    I'm staying home tomorrow except for life group but those people care to hang out and talk to me my friends and maybe until Sunday afternoon church again friends before I have a autism burnout meltdown.
    Judge
    Judge
    Sometimes it pays to recall enjoying time entirely by yourself. Like this little boy playing with hermit crabs. When his parents would occasionally become concerned because he wasn't socializing with others. Yet he seemed perfectly content, enjoying his solitude at an early age. Doing the same as an old man now.
    :frowning:

    049.JPG


    Tony, it's not a crime to be alone.
    People are treating me like dirt outside in public 100% ostracized by everyone. I rather end my life then be around these people. I should have stayed home. I got much more respect there.
    I finally figured out what wanderlust means. I have it and I looked it up when your broke. I already been doing everything it said to do locally and that does crap when every tom dick and harry talks in your face about there great wanderlust plans far and abord.
    Game night was good tonight. We hanged out mixed genders. I felt more comfortable around women. I also found that a women was shy which is why she did not open up to me or anyone being in NYC only weeks. Now adjusting more tonight to everyone.
    T
    thejuice
    We all jump to conclusions especially when we are not feeling our best, it's understandable
    My mother's speech about being yourself, smiling, and you will be liked is full of crap. Women still hate me.
    tree
    tree
    That's certainly what you're telling yourself.
    Judge
    Judge
    Your mother wants you to be that good little NT that you- nor any of us can ever be.

    Tragic, yet predictable.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Woman hate me too. This is why we mask so much. Because if we say what we really feel, people hate us.
    Damn it. I am at the coffee shop Roots now and it's all women. One snob actually got up with all her crap and moved away from me and I did not even look at her or anything. I was just in the table in front. Now there are about 6 other women with one other entering. I might leave now and just walk around for an hour and find a park and come back. I can't handle this.
    I'm starting to utter the s word more now in public as the GD word.
    tree
    tree
    And yet, you didn't literally shatter into pieces.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That's true, what tree said. You are emotionally grounded way more.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    As a Christian I use to never swear. You know I hate seeing and hearing it mainly still the worst word now I am saying some of it because I am so angry and frustrated.
    I see uglier men with beautiful wives and kids, and I can't even get one as a casual friend or even one to know I exist anymore. What the hell is wrong with me. That is why I am worthless and not worth nothing. I don't deserve to live anymore.
    tree
    tree
    You're telling yourself a bunch of mean crap.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Because it's true. I'm living it now.
    tree
    tree
    You're certainly feeling that way.
    I wish there were more miserable people like me in my area to hang with instead of the happy annoying people around me everywhere.
    tree
    tree
    Being around miserable, frustrated, angry, jealous, disappointed people sounds like fun?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I chat with two here, one IM and another on Instagram. It's fun. Misery loves company. Too bad one lives in Arizona and the other in the UK, and I am in the middle in NY never to all meet in person with me and the UK guy having a fear of flying due to lack of traveling.
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