I think you are all right. I need to find and start hanging out with my class including fixed income types not upper class college graduates who stress me out but people like me who did not complete higher education and have working class jobs.
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Tony Ramirez
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Had a meltdown at my Thursday group yesterday when they talked about there travel plans on plane to different locations while I been stuck in this hellhole for 4 years.
I wasted 5 years of my life for nothing.
Will someone actually murder me. That will be the only way I can surly die from this cruel world where women hate me.
I really wish I decided to end my life like I originally planned in early January, thinking it would get better when I did for a few months. What a stupid joke that was on me.
Lets be brutally honest every damn women I been encouraging in my neighborhood and nearby all have boyfriends.
My swearing has fully come back and if it offends anyone they can go and grow a new backbone. Deal with it. My relationship life sucks, wasting 5 years for nothing and I still can't even get a female friend, the few are never interested in hanging out solo with me ever. The rest are men or married women will only hang solo.
I wish new men I don't know or I just meet would get the idea and stop befriended me and want to hang especially solo. I am not interested.
I am still having trouble sleeping after finding out I am a actual snob.
My mother wants me to trauma dump rumors, hate and lies on everyone I know until I have no friends left or community to go to just because she refuses to find me a therapist.
My uncle has a tumor and he is dying.
I can't believe I am now addicted to ice coffee and going to coffee shops.
Why do I keep doing this? Smiling at Roots today, just a more positive vibe, made the cashier smile more at me and talk briefly. Even the female clientele, some, smiled back briefly and did not even seem so cold.
I am at Dunkin' Donuts now, it really is a depressing dump, clientele and staff. I actually find coffee shops more uplifting. I was actually putting out a negative vibe at these barista's.
What's the saying when you see someone's life looks great, but it really is not? I tried to google the answer, but I got profane answers f word results with no actual answers, so I am asking here?
Had a good Friday.
Detoxing on social media is going to be tough but I am going to slowly try.
I'm going to try my hardest to clean up my language here and in person no matter how much seeing guy/girl friends and couples annoy me.
Per my friend Alice request I deleted all of my social media apps except YouTube since I use it for Mac videos and many other things will reset my watch history and YouTube music. I will be turning off all my tech devices per her request until morning just my phone for walking to yoga. Goodnight see you tomorrow.
I broke down and swear at life group tonight when it was my turn to ask what I was great full for which was nothing nice but bad things and luck. One women got offended. The other comfort. I don't care if I been tight for 2 years let them kick me out.
Should I write negative reviews to all the coffee shops that treated me like dirt that I visited this past weeks that gave me more PTSD or is that not right thing to do? -
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