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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Single Hopefully Aspie 47 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    My game night from hell is over. I am home, tired now suffering another burnout. I better stay home for the next few days before meeting my married guy friend for dinner on Wednesday.
    tree
    tree
    What's game night?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I'm tired of playing 20 questions. Look it up.
    tree
    tree
    Game nights differ.
    I have no idea where you went, what you expected to do.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate 2 word conversations. They are about to drive me to the damn psychward.
    tree
    tree
    Who talks like that?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I talk to someone but they only exchange a few words back then ignore me meanwhile talk to an neurotypical and have long normal conversations.
    tree
    tree
    Can you give an example of a conversation like that?
    What both people said....
    Tony Ramirez
    No one gives a rats ass about me here. I am ready to leave before it gets dark. I am am getting a damn headache from all of there loud small talk.
    Tony Ramirez
    It's game night tonight and it feels much colder and it's not the AC at 68 degrees either. I feel more ostracized here. I am barely noticed.
    Tony Ramirez
    This annoys me.

    1000013401.jpg
    View previous comments…
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Tony, please remember that information on the internet is not always reliable and you could end up doing something much more painful than you are expecting. Sometimes medication overdoses are extremely painful and drawn out. There is a big risk of surviving and being permanently disabled. Please be careful. Please be safe.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I'm sad that you are so sad, friend. I wish there were some words you could hear to make you feel better. I wish the care and concern of people here could make it into your heart.
    T
    thejuice
    yes the body often expels meds just enough to let you survive, but life is worse!
    Tony Ramirez
    I can no longer look at a picture of my repulsive self the way single women see me.
    tree
    tree
    You can't see yourself through other people's eyes anyway.

    You're making up a story, telling yourself that you can.
    Kavigant
    Kavigant
    What makes you feel peaceful, Tony?
    Tony Ramirez
    I now stim in public places I don't care what people think anymore. I am cursed with autism so deal with it or get lost.
    Judge
    Judge
    On occasion I find myself doing the same. But now I just do it anyways whether people think it's weird or not. I still crack up knowing my nickname was based on an NT observing my early stims as a child who thought I looked like a "judge".
    Tony Ramirez
    I still plan on ending my life by the month's end. I just have to figure out a painless way to do it.
    View previous comments…
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I assure you there is not a simple painless way out. Death is intense. Having seen death of men and beast alike it is not something you can just do. Wait for your antipsychotic to kick in, and I suggest the works of Viktor Frankl if you can borrow a copy of Man's Search for Meaning--bought that one for 50c at a thrift and it changed my outlook.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    My parents are making my life hell.
    T
    thejuice
    Even state governments cant make the sheer brutality of death palatable and can only hide it away from view in the dead of night
    Tony Ramirez
    Just deactivated my Instagram. I did not delete it BTW. I just sick and tired of seeing people I follow and don't follow show pics of their friends traveling it sucks and I hated it.
    View previous comments…
    oregano
    oregano
    His wife didn't find out that her husband was in fact not a zillionaire New York real estate baron until she read his note.
    T
    thejuice
    Well done!
    Judge
    Judge
    Yep, all the main social media sites seem to be little more than platforms for peoples' bragging rights, whether they are true or not.
    Tony Ramirez
    No one here understands my singleness here and just wanting a simple female friend. They think it's all my fault, even calling me mean things like a predator.
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    Yes. That's always a sad possibility, that people reject social awkwardness or needy people. Another reason why I wanted anti-anxiety drugs to counter such things and better interact with others.
    T
    thejuice
    Yes we're not the cute kind of socially awkward
    T
    thejuice
    Has it's perks though, when you want peace and quiet no one bothers you
    Tony Ramirez
    College graduates piss me off too.
    View previous comments…
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you have high anxiety around large crowds, have other health problems besides autism that have prevented you from becoming employed over the years?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes. I want a computer job where I mainly work by myself but they require college.
    tree
    tree
    Computer work is not exactly devoid of stress. It requires the ability to
    communicate & interact with other people, too.
    Tony Ramirez
    I slept great last night. No crazy dreams about a women approaching me that became platonic, traveling and sexual. Just a weird dream of me catching my late grandfather watching a soap opera of a women shooting a man arguing you know I seen those in the 80's
    Tony Ramirez
    I think the 40's might actually be the worst years of my life and the most emotional painful. Hell except for my later junior high years my entire life was the worst years of my life.
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