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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Forever Alone Aspie 47 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    I just got a call from a friend at Church after reaching out. She says that I am not cursed. I also reached out to another friend, and she said the same thing and gave me support. These were not from my couple friends. So I am not lonely I guess people with ASD feel lonely when they are not.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tired of hearing from the same people why it's all my fault I am single and only have couples as friends.
    DogzSpirit
    DogzSpirit
    Female here. People point out that I don't have girlfriends. They tout their friendships they have, most of which are actually fair weather, walk on eggshells, or superficial at best. I have male friends, but they say that doesn't count. Geeze give me a break. I am choosy in friendships, and expect to be myself without masking. Some accept that, and some do not. PS Being married is not the end all.
    Tony Ramirez
    God is cruel. He makes me suffer physical pain and mental pain. He also does not want me to be in a relationship.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    He is.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    I really hope things get better for you. Stay strong!
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Blaming someone else for your problems doesn't excuse you from dealing with your problems. If you want things to change - that's on you.
    Tony Ramirez
    I am tired of seeing couples with baby carriages everywhere but I am lonely for life but according to many on this forum it's all my fault.
    View previous comments…
    Knower of nothing
    Knower of nothing
    And because I know you'll misinterpret this vague wall stuff: No, the wall is not a metaphor for your attempts at getting a relationship and this isn't me telling you to give up on finding a partner or some "just accept being lonely forever" talk. Think deeper.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Even though it's tiny for me I keep hoping for something different positive to happen.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Also I don't go to all the events, meetings and park as passionate years ago because I am still single and all I did was make more friends that are couples.
    Tony Ramirez
    Couples at church need to learn to leave me alone like single girls there do.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    When you think about it though, that's like 2 potential friends instead of 1
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    That bother me and rub in how they meet their spouse. Its even worse when they have an infant or young kids.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate having couples as friends, It just shows how successful they are, and I am a big loser.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Why not consider that belief that you're a "loser" to be wrong. Allow yourself to challenge your beliefs, assume they're incorrect and allow yourself to try and experience new things. From what I've read in your previous posts - it seems like your values are what is holding you back, and until you challenge those and consider they might be incorrect - you'll keep experiencing the same time and again.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    "It just shows how successful they are, and I am a big loser."

    I think that it reveals your jealousy more than anything else.
    "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15 NKJV
    Tony Ramirez
    I'm a 45 year old single for life loser with major back pain.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    But it's opposite day!
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    No it's not. Maybe for you it is.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people think I'm a loser. There's no way I'm letting them get me down, of course, but people can be really judgy.

    Did you get your back looked at? That's pretty serious
    Tony Ramirez
    I am 45 years old but physically feel like I am in my 90s.
    M
    Matthias
    Sounds like volunteering at a nursing home might be a good fit for you since you'll have something in common with the residents.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate stuck up snob girls who ignore me no matter how polite I am.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Any counties where woman make the first move?
    M
    Matthias
    None that I know of but I think working to overcome your anxiety would be easier than moving to another country and learning a new culture which usually causes anxiety for many people.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I looked it up and it showed the United States as number one. Maybe in fantasy Hallmark world but in the real world that is a bunch of crap.
    Tony Ramirez
    It's all my fault according to people on this forum why single woman ignore me.
    View previous comments…
    M
    Matthias
    It sounds like the problem isn't that women in your neighborhood are mean because they don't like men but just aren't interested in you in particular. Is there anything you could change about yourself to increase your appeal to single women you like? Do you come across as a friendly guy who is easy to talk to?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I tried clean shave and tried growing a beard but I still only attract couples and guys.
    M
    Matthias
    Personality and how you act around other people is very important. When single women see other people approach you, do they see you responding with a smile and having a friendly conversation?
    Tony Ramirez
    No matter what I do or where I go I can't find that special someone. Just guys and couples everywhere.
    View previous comments…
    M
    Matthias
    Since you're able to talk to couples, why can't you approach single women?
    Jordy
    Jordy
    Sounds like you have PTSD from talking to couples.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I do. I left the church back then in 2004 when all my so-called friends coupled up and abandoned me. When I came back after my sister nearly died in 2019, I was expecting to be friends with single girls. When it was couples who I became friends with I brushed it off until that is all that was talking to me. Got to the point that I stopped attending church events because it was the same people that showed up.
    Tony Ramirez
    Every morning I wake up with major back pain. I deal with it as its God cursing me with yet another problem.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    Did you try going to the doctor? I had crippling back pain for over a year and it turned out to be an organ. Might want to make extra sure everything is cool
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    If it still in pain by next month I will go to my local doctor.
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    We live in the age of Grace. God doesn't curse anyone. Chill.
    Tony Ramirez
    So many hairy men with hairy legs with shorts wearing flip flops out today. Ewe what a turn off.
    tree
    tree
    They probably aren't dressing themselves with you in mind.
    L
    Luca
    Don't most men have hairy legs tho?? I actually think I have only ever met ONE man who shaved his legs.
    And people always used to tell me not to wear shorts because I have big legs and cellulite. I don't give a crap, I still wear shorts and leggings, because I'm not dressing to impress the fashion police. People can wear whatever they're comfortable in.
    Tony Ramirez
    Sick and tired of only men I do or don't including male strangers who is or isn't an couple ask me how I am doing. Annoying.
    Tony Ramirez
    People who are married should not give advice to ASD.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    Even married people with ASD...?
    L
    Luca
    There are a lot of autistic people who are married. You don’t want their advice either, I guess.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    @Luca is correct. It's difficult, and there's bound to be a lot of problems caused by ASD, but it's still doable. I guess, maybe that's proof there is a god? I don't know.
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