Deleted this number. It was weird. Some of the things said to me. Too strange. I haven't talked to this individual for about 20+ years. So the tangent they went off on was bizarre.
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First thing i just open my eyes and Maddog and my mother are arguing over.... Get this.... Being allowed to use my sister's computer because it can run his Total War and Civilization games but mine can't... So i've spent the whole morning bringing it back and forth upstairs and downstairs. Kill me.
Real Life Hidden Secret #2: Lengthy explanations to your fam not hitting right when you're catching your breath after a heavy chore? Try short, one-word-at-a-time phrases containing common wordplay understood by the family; eg. "My legs are wobbly from lifting" into "Heavy make legs break". Yeah, it's caveman-like, but you're listening to your body, not Language Arts class!
Real Life Hidden Secrets #1: Journal getting too cramped with lengthy entries? If you don't have time to save your game the long way, write the date and next to that, a 0/10 rating of anxiety scale.
...just took a leftover of one of my ADHD meds i didn't know i had (read: sometimes i store a couple in a little tiny drawer on my desk for in case i need to stay up for something. I live in a bad neighborhood and sometimes we have scares, so Maddog will have someone stay up to make sure no nighttime robberies happen. You gotta remember he was in the military.)
Bored and desperate to play a new Quake 1 mod i got but Maddog is asleep downstairs and for whatever reason wants my computer downstairs... Guess i'm playing Ultima 4 on my DOSBox upstairs. No biggie though, I LOVE that game! Also I just took a leftover of my ADHD medication I didn't know i had (cont.)
I think i know what one of my problems is: psychotic depression. Lots of things in life have NOT been kind to me and my family; in fact life has been very cruel to us in the past. I think the above combined with PTSD is what I'm struggling with... It's the only explanation i can think of.
Me: Last seen watching TF2 Air 2 and pretending life is a Gmod machinima because i'm THAT bored
I'm using my delta vape to help me sleep now (don't worry i did a small hit) and i noticed it's making my dreams more inmersive.
Aloe's doing sleep hypnosis with me. Back in a few...
Twitch chat simulator I found a way to camouflage my vape sessions.
**Stress Erased By Aloe**
++Recovering++
Discovered New Technique: Nasal Delta. Take a Covert Delta 8 pen and inhale it.... Through one nostril! Do I got danglers like a vegas card dealer or what?!
This isn't worth it. I give up.
#RealityIsNotMyFriend #GodIsMissing
I HAVE TO LIVE IN MY ROOM. IT IS THE ONLY WAY THINGS CAN BE PEACEFUL. I MUST NEVER, EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES COME OUT OF MY ROOM. LIVING AS A HERMIT IS THE ONLY TO KEEP THINGS PEACEFUL
They closed our case! They're finally going to leave us alone!
Guys... I'm not.... I'm not okay at all. I don't think I ever will be again and I don't want to put effort time or energy into trying to recover. If i do i'm just going to get blindsided by life again and i'll be right back where i started with it. It's easier on myself if I just not worry about trying to find happiness ever again. Besides I wasn't meant to have a happy life anyway.
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