More and more things this morning are bizarrely demanding I use mathematics to deal with them. Why is the Universe spying on me writing in my journal... 
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It's Halloween, but honestly, it feels like a normal day to me.
teach me that, as I realize now.
must always remember in our minds and hearts that there is no law, nor be there any rule, that says a man can not give into his emotions. 'Giving in' to your emotions does not have to translate to "giving up" or "I surrender", it simply means that something which is actually good for us must not be fought back or kept at bay. It keeps coming back to you because it is progress in disguise. My stepfather came back to
But as of now, don't worry about me, guys! And, perhaps most importantly of all, let us take a lesson about life from this; even the people closest to us whose safety and well-being we worry about every day, are always fighting the toughest battles both inside and out that nobody has any true idea just how difficult they really are, but that's not important. What is important is that we as both humans and as people
forget all he's put me through, but after seeing how well he's doing now... I just don't have the heart to confront him on it like that when he's this happy about life. No way I'm risking a complete roll-back of all that progress by confronting him about it. Maybe when he's %100 back to an open-minded mindset like he used to be, I'll be able to talk to him about it so we can make it where we can put it behind us both
(a cover post like others in the past have been; I am speaking of REAL visible results I just saw in him now. Maddog is no longer Mad. He is now Gladdog, and after the way he and I spent time and bonded just now, I think my faith in people like him is very safe to let be restored. I legitimately feel safe around him now, and I do genuinely feel like I can forgive him for all he's displayed of himself; I might not
(working now, legitimately; he and I just got done playing Battle for Wesnoth on the computer (read: two player same-computer turn based strategy game, REALLY fun!) and it was the most wholesome gaming session he and I ever had before he went to the hospital.
I almost did not even recognize Maddog at all; I guess we can stop calling him "Maddog" now and start calling him "Gladdog" now!
(Be advised: This is not
Okay, guys, I know I said Maddog would be gone for a long time, and I thought it would be a while myself, so did my family, BUT, before you guys start freaking out, I have very good news: Maddog got himself straightened out. I know I have said I don't trust the guy and I've even said I *hate* him; they decided to send him home today (he's on new medication than what he was taking, and this new regimen actually IS
HELP I CAN'T STOP WRITING MATH EQUATIONS FOR EVERYTHING
Day 1 of New Game+ schedule has officially ended with a colorful success! Properly ending the night with a self rewarded vape pen
I [BLEEEEEEEEEEP] LOVE SOLVING MATH EQUATIONS IT IS SO [BLEEP] ADDICTING!!
Stole a red bullfrom the fridge fand I regret nothing (takes wicked rip off delta 8 vape pen, exhales and disappears in a cloud of white smoke)
For the first time in 17-18 years, I can finally sleep all the way through the nighttime hours without being intermittently woken at 3 am - 8 am fetching snacks and TV dinners and cleaning and moving furniture... Mad Is currently IVC'd (involuntarily commited) for mandatory 72 hours. Now's my chance to aim EVERYTHING energetic I have into manifesting making him stay far away from my family for good!!!
ATTENTION FRIENDS OF AUTISMFORUMS: MADDOG'S ACT TEAM JUST CAME TO MY HOUSE AND THEY FINALLY TOOK HIM!! HE'S GONE!!!! MADDOG FINALLY LOST!!! MADDOG IS FINALLY GONE!!! WE'RE FINALLY FREE!!! OH SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY, IT'S BEEN 17 YEARS BUT AT LONG LAST, GOD TOOK HIM OUT OF OUR LIVES!! THERE IS A GOD!!!
So it turns out I'm more advanced in math now, as I have found out. Circuitry schematics are getting better too, if i could just get my hands on that gatdang tankerin' kit, i tell ye hwhat
Aloe: Last seen wrapped around me, putting me to sleep and playing a CD on a crystalline CD player that contains an audio file with Celeste the dolphin's voice talking me through the basics of electronics and circuitry, and the math involved
m a t h
So, completely out of nowhere, I somehow managed to wake up this morning at 3 AM already in an intense state of flow, so intense that I felt as though my entire being was powered purely by math. I listened to some binaural beats with headphones on last night and fell asleep to a tone for productivity & intelligence... all of my notebooks are full of nothing but math equations and circuit schematic ideas. Help me.
SQUEAK I TELL YOU
S Q U E A K -
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