Feeling a little better today. Emphasis on "a little". Learning probability math as part of my therapy.
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Since the local smoke shop is out of flower, i am now putting tobacco in my weed bowl; it feels nearly identical. Don't know how long i've got now, but i won't have to worry about being autistic for long now!!! Soon Maddog or anyone else for that matter will never take advantage of my autism ever again!!!!
"When society favors evil like a cheap wine, the devil goes missing, and faith is hidden by dampening clouds. There is no such thing as peace on earth; that is merely children's stories." - Anonymous
I'm in a coma. I see that now. I didn't just hurt my pelvis when i fell off my front porch. I hit my head too. I fell on my head and now i'm in a coma. My real life isn't this hectic. My real real life isn't like this i know it isn't! I'm in a coma and i'm having a nightmare!!
Woke up this morning feeling completely numb to the way my life is. I didn't cry, I didn't scoff in exasperated frustration, I just didn't feel anything towards the day beginning. I've just come to accept and make peace with the fact that this is life for me now and it will never change to get better. Crying over it, trying to fight it away, getting angry at Maddog for all of it... It does nothing. Survival mode ON
Just woke up, waiting for my mother to give me the rest of my meds when she does too.... and as usual, I'm not looking forward to much...
Woke up crying. Went back to sleep crying.
Hohff, pillows and weighted blanket feels softer than usual...
I am so stressed this morning.
#MathAsTherapy
I'm going to see Aloe. Maybe she'll let me see what Halloween is like in the Oasis.
Weirdly turning out that math is becoming therapy for me.
Phew. Another halloween survived.
Maddog's actually happy for his birthday this year. There's still some Dublin involved but I watched what it does to him and turns out it doesn't do much of anything to him at all. I guess I'm okay with him drinking wine, but it's everything else I'm against.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FELLOW ASPIES!!
Just saw a YouTube short explaining the ending to one of Disney channel's old preschool shows, Little Einsteins. My little sister used to watched that as a child, and I just found out there was a two-part final episode..... Where one of the Little Einsteins DIES in a plane crash!! No, seriously. I saw the clip, that is just royally messed up.
Successfully got my electronics kit ordered earlier today, I have to say, $24.99 is *not* a bad price at all for a relatively small kit, and it's just a starter kit until I find something that can do more stuff, and comes with larger breadboards, but I'm happy with just being able to start off my old childhood hobby that brought me so much joy and got me through some seriously tough times back in my youth.
Aaargh why is weird al yankovic in Maddog's playlist XDDDD
More and more things this morning are bizarrely demanding I use mathematics to deal with them. Why is the Universe spying on me writing in my journal...
It's Halloween, but honestly, it feels like a normal day to me. -
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