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Misery

Misery

V.I.P Member
Amalga Heart 43 From Big stupid hole in the ground (Illinois)
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  • Misery
    Gotta say, all this gender stuff is increasingly rough. Just a single "sir" thrown my way is enough to kill my mood at this point. I cant do anything about it yet. Cant go into "girl mode" before having told anyone, and it aint time yet. I'm close though. So close. Another week or two. Just gotta hold out a bit longer. How does anyone get through this without going insane first? Ugh.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good you are deciding to come out. You won't need to mask that anymore.
    merithra
    merithra
    I am here for you. If you would ever like to discuss transitioning my DMs are open, to be honest I think we have to get through this by being a mixture of insane and stubborn. I had to manifest an unbreakable will to get through the last year which was hard for someone who quits easily like me, I went insane, stubborn and all the things in between but the payoff is big. you will get there, i believe in you.
    Misery
    So, I lost 23 pounds, it seems. I've no idea where they went.
    View previous comments…
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Congratulations to the both of you!
    I've gained enough weight to hit my goal of 140 so that's not so bad! Here's to meeting goals and to long life.
    Misery
    Misery
    See, I'm mostly just confused because it wasnt a goal to begin with. Probably related to the fact that we moved though. I didnt go walking nearly as much when we were back in Naperville (horrible crowded mess) but I do it all the time in this area (forest preserves, so many of them, or calm/quiet stores to wander around). It's amazing really how just one change like that can have such an effect.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Less stress is a prerequisite to losing weight, I think. The forest may be helping.
    Misery
    Gaming stuff: today I finished the tutorial for Factorio. Oh, I'd already learned much about the game before that, but... anyone who has ever tried the tutorial knows what happens when you get to scenario 5. Even a lot of players who have launched rockets never finished 5. But I managed it today, I felt like I'd beaten a really hard roguelike. Whole tutorial took like 10 hours, I'd say.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    I never really played the game, but I watched a long let´s play of it, so I know the game. it was more comfortable to watch it then to play it, because it´s really complicate : D
    Jordy
    Jordy
    I launched the rocket in free mode a couple times, never really did the tutorial.
    Misery
    Misery
    @Shaddok Oh yeah, it's complicated. Brilliant, but complicated. I havent managed a rocket launch yet... I tended to get totally lost dealing with trains, and hitting the point of needing to deal with oil while learning the pipe/fluid mechanics is also tough. As it is, today was the first time I managed successful use of a train (you have to do that for #5, it's what everyone gets stuck on).
    Misery
    Something I didnt expect to be doing today: Logging into this forum using a Raspberry Pi (with the Pi OS, which, conveniently, I installed onto an SD card just a couple of days ago). This thing isnt really meant for this though, it's built as an emulator box for retro games (which it does well, when the UI, which is not this OS, isnt being too weird). Definitely struggling a bit... hmm...
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Which Pi are you using? :-)
    Misery
    Misery
    I have no idea. I’m not actually very familiar with it. Prior to this I only ran the emulator (Recalbox)
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Maybe a Pi3 or Pi4? If it's a Pi4 it will have the micro HDMI connectors on it. :-) The Pi4 has quite a bit of over clock potential if you have decent cooling :)
    Misery
    Something that is depressing to me as a long-time internet user: finding out that forums I used to love and frequent collapsed under the weight of the presence of Reddit and Discord (or they moved to those, which is just as bad). And I cant stand either. The deranged formatting of Reddit (seriously someone should be fired, and then rehired so they can be fired again) or the out of control nature of Discord... ugh
    Trophonius
    Trophonius
    I agree. I dislike reddit and discord too. They don't have the feel of a small community, with regulars you can interact. Everyone is a stranger. Reddit is useful to find information, sometimes, because of some specific subreddits, but they don't work as communities imho.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Reddit is too easy to go doomscroll on--All I wanted was memes and trashy internet drama and now it's all angry people.
    Misery
    Okay after 30 minutes of running through Windows' labyrinthine nonsense I've managed to exorcise the specter of M$ from the hard drive and regain control of my own bloody desktop. Whoever came up with that should be fired and forced to work at McDonalds, which would be on fire at the time. Yes I'm a tad irked at the moment, how could you tell?
    Misery
    So, it turns out that Windows 11 is actually even worse than was rumored. Which is... astounding. I didnt think that was possible. Already I'm in the process of going through and removing things or installing other things just to counter Microsoft's scummy garbage. The PC itself is just amazing. The OS is trash. I miss DOS. It just did what you told it, and nothing more.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, it was supposed to be an "optional upgrade" with this PC, but nooooooo, it was there when I first turned it on. No avoiding it.
    Jordy
    Jordy
    I run windows 11, seems almost identical to windows 10 to me.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    @phantom , try and find the taskbar customisations... missing in W11 which slaughters productivity! No doubt that W10 has M$'s best ever effort at a Start menu. @Misery , not sure if you can get W10 to run on your new system. The high end Intel CPU's apparently don't run well on W10 due to the OS not having the right capabilities.
    Misery
    So, new approach to my father's situation. My stepmother asked me to now specifically try to keep him busy (but not go overboard)... after all, sitting in his chair by the TV may not be "stressful", but it's also definitely not healthy to do all the time. Not exactly helping his situation. Trouble is coming up with stuff to do (aside from playing chess as I've already mentioned). Hmmmmmmmm. Gotta ponder that.
    Misery
    Ya know, something that really sucks is getting mentally stuck on the same accursed topic and being unable to just stop constantly focusing on it. Going through that a lot lately. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed by... you know, that realization. But even when feeling that pressure... ya gotta keep charging forward anyway. If anyone else is having a rough time like that... well, if I can keep going, so can you.
    L
    Luca
    I'm in the same situation right now. I want to give up. But I don't think I will give up that easily.
    Misery
    PatternFill2Finished.webp


    Made this today. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it took forever to do it. As a fractal it's a very interesting shape, I can dive the camera deeper into it later and see what else I might find.
    Misery
    So, today I went and changed my profile on here so my gender is listed as female, and then over on Steam I changed my listed name on my profile there to Sophie (listed name isnt the same as display name, you can only see it in the profile page). Yeah... very small steps that pretty much nobody will notice unless I tell them, but... it's something, at least. Ya gotta keep taking steps if you're gonna get anywhere...
    Misery
    New, dumber update: entire house is flickering, and I’m carrying my lantern around. wind storm and I live in an area where the power goes out if someone looks at a power pole too hard. Just to give an idea of how often this happens, i always keep the lantern close by even on normal days. PC off and unplugged for now until the flickering stops.
    View previous comments…
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    Some of your wind then should be to our place by 8pm. So, will head out to get some flashlights. Will tell the kids its Halloween if the lights go out, as they missed the actual holiday. So, thanks for the weather update!
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, wind seems pretty much gone from here now. Hopefully it wont be too bad when it gets to you.
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    It's just about 22 mph now. Gusts seem like about 40 though, as a couple of branches and many leaves are flying all over. It won't get worse than this though. At midnight supposed to subside. Was rain last day or so prior to the wind coming an hour ago.
    Misery
    Well, new PC active, nothing's on fire yet. Almost done with setup... internet is on, my usual keyboard & weird mouse are active, the PC glows with the force of a thousand stars... apparently every conceivable part inside needs to glow. Sure is colorful... but next is the Steam & VR setups, the most irritating part, yay.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Generally I'm a bit nearsighted. I can see a difference if I'm wearing my glasses but I only wear them sometimes (depends on what I'm doing). The VR though (index), THAT is what I'm super picky about. And framerate of stuff in general, when gaming. Also my fractal stuffs, those brought the previous PC to its knees, I'm curious how this one will do with them.
    Misery
    Misery
    Now as for the RGB stuff mentioned, good grief there's all sorts of screwball controls here. The RAM is glowing, that's... that's a thing apparently. At least I think that's what those are.
    Judge
    Judge
    If you want a bonfire you'll need to upgrade your video card to an Nvidia RTX 4090. :eek:


    You should be fine with an Nvidia "30" series card. ;)
    Misery
    Well, the PC finally showed up at the store. Picking it up early tomorrow. There will be many things to do, but I should have full online functionality (as in, without having to give the machine frequent "rest" periods) and VR before the day is up. So that's good. Also looking forward to seeing how my fractal programs perform on it.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I hope it works out for you. You can then get Xbox Game Pass for PC first thing tomorrow morning and spend 24 hours playing through Gears of War with me to help the sick children. This is me being persuasive.
    Misery
    Misery
    I actually didnt even know the game pass was even a thing on PC. I thought that was just on the XBox? How does that even work? Currently the main platforms/stores I'm aware of are Steam, Epic, Itch, GOG, and... er... yeah mostly those.
    Misery
    Well, I think I found the source of the PC troubles: the fan/vent areas, whatever: caked almost solid with what I assume is sentient dust by this point (very hard to visually notice with the weird lighting in this room and the angle the machine is at). Oooookay. I know what my task for the day is, then... bah. In other news, Best Buy still sucks. New machine was supposed to get here 2 days ago.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Dust and heat are technology killers. I squirm when I see people using laptops on duvets without propping it up on a hard surface like a book. Suffocating the air vents and essentially cooking the laptop alive.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    I see companies selling cans of air... I think they're taking the pee quite honestly. If you can buy a compressor and a couple of airline accessories you can use it for your vehicle tyres too. Oh, you'll need a mask of you'll be sneezing a lot! This is an outside task though. Remember to put a finger on the stationary fan blades or they spin faster than they are meant to.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, a proper mask is a must have before I can do any of this. I'm allergic to dust.
    Misery
    Stupid Best Buy being stupid Best Buy. Cant they just be anything else? Hate that store. I miss the Fry's, they werent terrible. That is all, you can all go back to your homes now, nothing more to see here.
    Judge
    Judge
    What happened? TBH, these days I don't see any one electronics retailer (online or brick and mortar) standing out in the crowd. That most of them have let me down at one time or another. Frustrating, but it happens.
    Misery
    Misery
    Dont know yet. Just "delayed". After all day of them saying "it's in progress! We'll call you when it's finished!" I have no idea what exactly is in progress (do they do some sort of setup with it before handing it out?) but... yeah. All I know is that the thing is there, it arrived, but it's not "ready" yet.
    Misery
    Well, new PC likely arrives tomorrow. About bloody time. Also: Factorio on the Nintendo Switch. I have not done a single other thing since it showed up a couple of days ago. Anyone who has ever played it knows why. So, definitely plenty to do over these next few days... Helps my mood, it does.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    I picked this up on release day, too! How are you adjusting to the controls?
    Misery
    Misery
    Honestly I've had little trouble with it. I'm used to super weird control schemes in games as I've often had to use controllers with games that dont support them, emulating the mouse & keyboard that way.
    Misery
    New PC arrives the day after tomorrow. Will be very glad for that, this one being unable to do much of anything is driving me crazy. Not helping my already unstable mood one bit.
    Misery
    Update: so, father got back from the doc. New treatment plan. A total nightmare. Both my father and stepmother must endure 72 hours of doing the eyedrops every. 30. Minutes. And yes, that means all night. For each day. It sounds like torture. No more than a 25 minute nap at one time, period. I just... ugh.
    View previous comments…
    Outdated
    Outdated
    I had a friend up north who lost one of his eyes to a tropical ulcer. It started off as just a pimple near his eye and he scratched it.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, I'm just glad they have a treatment plan at all. I'm still worried but not feeling as totally paranoid as I was yesterday.
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    Sounds like a tough treatment plan, having to do that at nights, too. Think of it as this way though, "Each time it's done this frequently (drops put in), things should get better and quicker, even if results are not seen right away and it takes time to fully heal"
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