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Misery

Misery

V.I.P Member
Amalga Heart 43 From Big stupid hole in the ground (Illinois)
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  • Misery
    ff4d.webp

    Classic gaming with romhacks recently. Final Fantasy 4, I always wanted to like, but it was so stupidly easy that I just got bored of it. The "upgraded" version lacks that problem and primarily consists of me yelling things at the screen. In the screenshot, getting completely mangled by whatever that is. I hadnt realized this genre could be such fun, if given real challenge.
    Misery

    I just found this guy's channel, these are freaking hilarious. And darned impressive. I'd love to learn how to make stuff like this. Blender, really, there's so many reasons for me to learn that at some point.
    Misery
    So I realized suddenly that I made a big mistake. I switched my Xbox username to “Sophie Carre”. I did not think that through. i told a couple of friends just now that I have the console, and… Yeah, they’re going to ask the name of the new account. Almost guaranteed chance that the gender thing is going to be outed to them in the next day or two. Yay, anxiety spike…. Also iPad typing BAH.
    Misery
    Will be gone for a couple of days. Going to the lake house for the weekend and trying to type using the iPad brings only madness and tragedy. If anyone needs to say anything to me in that time, I will notice DMs. Probably. Internet is wobbly up there.
    AdamG
    AdamG
    I hope you have a really good time at the lake :)
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Yes! Finally getting there. Bon voyage.
    Kisa the tea
    Kisa the tea
    Hope you have a good time!
    WiffingWaffles
    Oi, good afternoon, i trust you're doing well?
    Misery
    Misery
    I'm technically functioning, sorta. I let myself get dehydrated again, I cant think straight when that happens. I dont know what else to say, it's hard to communicate when I'm in this state.
    WiffingWaffles
    WiffingWaffles
    oh mai, is it some habits you have developed over the years
    Misery
    Misery
    It's sort of an odd sensory thing. Where it's like, I'm thirsty, but I somehow just... dont notice for awhile. Happens with hunger too, I'll be going fine, and then UUUUGH super hungry, I didnt notice, should have eaten two hours ago
    Misery
    In gaming news, Diablo 4 is about to release. It's been like 5 billionty years since 3 came out (I was there for launch day at Gamestop, I won a standee in a contest I didnt know I was in, I was quite confused, everyone else in the place was quite disappointed). And now 4 is here.
    One of those things that just seemed like it'd never just show up already.
    Misery
    4 hour drawing session. Ouch, ouch, ouch. So close to finishing the best thing I've ever made. Wanted to really use proper perspective, so I finally decided to draw a character (same pink haired girl with the black braids from before) at an angle that isnt straight on, and more than just the face, and in a different pose. Didnt think I could do it. DID IT ANYWAY. I'll show that tomorrow probably. Ouch.
    Misery
    Decided to try again at having The Talk this coming weekend. One way or another, I cant keep up my current state. It has started to affect my health. At this point the things keeping me going are my stubbornness and absolute refusal to lose. Even with no energy left, and despite the anxiety, I *will* achieve this goal.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good luck Misery, maybe it truly is time to say something. Maybe get them together? Rehearse in front of the mirror. Map out exactly how you will say it, remember deliver with confidence, and be prepared for questions they may ask. This maybe a big life hurdle, but l bet you can do this now.
    tree
    tree
    @Misery
    Does it have to be one huge *hey I'm not who you thought I was* revelation talk all at once?
    Can it be delivered in small increments?
    Misery
    Misery
    @tree it is going to sorta be done in small increments, yeah. Something I've learned with big revelations to people (including telling them about autism) is that I often need to divide it up, so it's like "today here's the most important part, we can talk about more details in the days ahead". That's what I'm planning on doing.
    Misery
    Okay well I'm not going up north after all. Still sorta coming down from the worst breakdown I've ever had. Normally I manage to hide these incidents but this time my control completely broke while I wasnt alone. Dont worry, I'm fine, aside from the gash on my arm. I'll post about this later. There's things to talk about, and questions to ask.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Hang in there Sophia.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry Sophia. Hope you can pull thru this. We are hitting warm 80+ near Anna Marie. My mom closed their 2nd scuba shop there, because they will be building a new bridge to connect and the traffic will be horrendous. I think it starts in 2024 on the Cortez side.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Thinking of you, Sophie. Wishing you well. Wishing you strength. Wishing you peace.
    Misery
    Just want to say, I'm probably not going to be around over the next few days most likely. Going up north, usually I still interact with the forum and such even without my usual PC, but this time I'm just too drained and messed up. Yeah, it's been bad lately. So, radio silence for a bit, I think. But I'll still check and respond to any direct messages.
    W
    Wolfnox
    Just got over a serious depression myself. Avoid news and really loud people.
    Misery
    Okay, so, based on the responses I got with my last update, yeah, that might have sounded a bit dramatic somehow. What happened was an injury: I was trying to open some cards on a board game that came in, and it's got that awful ultra-tight cellophane wrapping. Used the multitool thing on my keychain to try to open it, (continued in comments)
    View previous comments…
    oregano
    oregano
    But I had to go to Yreka, so I slapped a bandaid on it and left. By the time I got to town my hand was gushing blood, and I was trying to keep the blood at bay with a kleenex while driving those twisty roads.
    oregano
    oregano
    I had to stop at Dollar Tree for bandaids. Replaced the bandaid, then headed to the supermarket. Hand is still gushing. The bagger girl innocently asked me how my day was going, then I held up my hand.
    oregano
    oregano
    It took many bandaids and maybe 45 minutes to stop the gusher of blood. So yeah, sympathy here.
    Misery
    So, bad news, may or may not be completely unresponsive for a day or maybe a couple of days. I'll at least be reading stuff though, so I wont miss messages or whartever. Just dont expect replies or posts during that time.
    Good news, I didnt bleed on the cards.
    View previous comments…
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    If you ever want to talk about it Sophie there are many here who care. Do so publicly or privately, if you ever desire or need such, whatever is best for you. In the meantime we will be thinking of you and be hoping you weather the storm and things will get better.
    oregano
    oregano
    Did I miss something? Hope you get better, @Misery.
    tree
    tree
    @Misery
    You did/had a Tarot reading???

    IDK
    Misery
    aaaaaaaaagh okay my anxiety just spiked real bad, I found a tick, it had clearly only been there for like a couple of minutes and came off because I looked at it too hard, but still, I'm like two minutes away from a complete panic spiral, someone say something funny and/or calming
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Okay so I managed not to spiral into nonsense here. I have a germ phobia (which is where panic sets in) but the thing clearly didnt get a chance to latch on and there's no bite. It really must have only been on me for a very short time.
    Misery
    Misery
    Also I had a therapist appointment today which was like 40 minutes after that, she's helping me with my anxiety and basically every other thing I've ever mentioned on the site here, she helped me get calmed down.
    Misery
    Misery
    Stupid thing is, I have no other issues with insects at all... mosquitos? Feh, whatever. Big honkin' spiders? Fine. House centipede on my foot? That happened once, I was more than a bit confused, but that's about it. Ticks though? Immediate panic, takes awhile for logic to kick back in.
    Misery
    eaYgGgQ.webp


    So, this happened today. Reconnected with an old friend a few weeks ago, went over to his place today. He'd told me he'd gotten me a gift before I went over, so I could get back to gaming with the old group. I went in thinking it was going to be a headset, since I had mentioned I didnt have one for the PC. This... is a bit more than just a headset. Completely stunned.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Holy mackerel. That is quite a gift. Hope you enjoy the heck out of it.
    Misery
    So, recently I took some major steps in going forward with my game-dev ideas, and learning what I need to know. I'm learning Gamemaker Studio 2, and also as soon as Unreal Engine has finished its million years of downloading, I'm starting on that one too. Yes, I know, a bit much at once. I have nothing but free time, all the time. So that works out, I think.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    I would also like to learn game design and do some simple games. I have other priorities now, but would love to do it some day. Im glad you are doing it.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, simple is defnitely the operative word here. Been on a real "short horror game" kick lately, was inspired by this weird little game called "Spin To Win" over on Itch. Wasnt expecting to get big inspiration from such a small thing. 15 minutes long, that game. Amazing sometimes, the most unexpected things can provide inspiration like that.
    Misery
    So I get this box every month, right, that has some random twisty puzzles in it (in their own smaller boxes). Today I open the thing and, okay, one colorful box with a cube in it, and one... plastic bag? There's a "fortune cat" puzzle thing in it. The bag is clear, looks like someone crumpled it up, and has "666" smeared in reddish orange on the side. So that's a thing that happened today.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    666 if held with the opening on top. Cant imagine why. Also a question is why the heck is the thing in a little plastic bag in the first place. Not usually how this goes, that's for sure.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Once you assemble the fortune cat, it will summon a demon that will devour your soul. Its quite clear. :cool:
    L
    Luca
    Omg, that would’ve really scared me if that happened to me. But it’s likely that someone at the company or factory got bored and did that as a prank or something. Still weird and creepy though.
    Misery
    aaaaaaagh I've got a nasty canker sore in my mouth right now, I freaking hate these. It's very rare that I get one but when I do it's so freaking painful and just incredibly annoying. Triggers my sensory issues. I never really know what to do about it. And the stupid things can last for quite awhile. Bah.
    tree
    tree
    Alum.

    Will make you salivate after you put the dry white powder on the sore,
    so stand at the sink and spit.

    One child I knew was elated to use alum when I told her about it.
    Her mother had been making anybody in their family apply salt.
    Misery
    Okay, so, I was a bit... out of it over the last few days. Fell into my own negative mess again... bah. The gender stuff + anxiety + dehydration = aaaaaaargh. I've gotten out of that spiral though. Tomorrow I meet up with my therapist again, so that'll be good. One way or another I gotta make some progress here. Feh.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Nice, even though you were struggling, seems like you’re on your way back up. Hope you are drinking water and also that you have a good session with the therapist tomorrow. Here for you if you want to talk or vent.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Temporal downs may make us forget the general progress we do over time. Stay clear on your goals.

    Good luck tomorrow in the therapy.

    Here for you too.
    Misery
    wWpXbRd.webp

    Today's board game haul. It's all one game that for reasons which make sense in context, happens to be in... *looks at table* 12 separate boxes, which arent just boxes. This is easily my favorite game, I've had it for awhile, this set is the newest content for it. This is one of the things I've been looking forward to most recently.
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