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Misery

Misery

V.I.P Member
Amalga Heart 43 From Big stupid hole in the ground (Illinois)
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  • Misery
    aaaaaaaaagh okay my anxiety just spiked real bad, I found a tick, it had clearly only been there for like a couple of minutes and came off because I looked at it too hard, but still, I'm like two minutes away from a complete panic spiral, someone say something funny and/or calming
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Okay so I managed not to spiral into nonsense here. I have a germ phobia (which is where panic sets in) but the thing clearly didnt get a chance to latch on and there's no bite. It really must have only been on me for a very short time.
    Misery
    Misery
    Also I had a therapist appointment today which was like 40 minutes after that, she's helping me with my anxiety and basically every other thing I've ever mentioned on the site here, she helped me get calmed down.
    Misery
    Misery
    Stupid thing is, I have no other issues with insects at all... mosquitos? Feh, whatever. Big honkin' spiders? Fine. House centipede on my foot? That happened once, I was more than a bit confused, but that's about it. Ticks though? Immediate panic, takes awhile for logic to kick back in.
    Misery
    eaYgGgQ.jpg


    So, this happened today. Reconnected with an old friend a few weeks ago, went over to his place today. He'd told me he'd gotten me a gift before I went over, so I could get back to gaming with the old group. I went in thinking it was going to be a headset, since I had mentioned I didnt have one for the PC. This... is a bit more than just a headset. Completely stunned.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Holy mackerel. That is quite a gift. Hope you enjoy the heck out of it.
    Misery
    So, recently I took some major steps in going forward with my game-dev ideas, and learning what I need to know. I'm learning Gamemaker Studio 2, and also as soon as Unreal Engine has finished its million years of downloading, I'm starting on that one too. Yes, I know, a bit much at once. I have nothing but free time, all the time. So that works out, I think.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    I would also like to learn game design and do some simple games. I have other priorities now, but would love to do it some day. Im glad you are doing it.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, simple is defnitely the operative word here. Been on a real "short horror game" kick lately, was inspired by this weird little game called "Spin To Win" over on Itch. Wasnt expecting to get big inspiration from such a small thing. 15 minutes long, that game. Amazing sometimes, the most unexpected things can provide inspiration like that.
    Misery
    So I get this box every month, right, that has some random twisty puzzles in it (in their own smaller boxes). Today I open the thing and, okay, one colorful box with a cube in it, and one... plastic bag? There's a "fortune cat" puzzle thing in it. The bag is clear, looks like someone crumpled it up, and has "666" smeared in reddish orange on the side. So that's a thing that happened today.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    666 if held with the opening on top. Cant imagine why. Also a question is why the heck is the thing in a little plastic bag in the first place. Not usually how this goes, that's for sure.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Once you assemble the fortune cat, it will summon a demon that will devour your soul. Its quite clear. :cool:
    L
    Luca
    Omg, that would’ve really scared me if that happened to me. But it’s likely that someone at the company or factory got bored and did that as a prank or something. Still weird and creepy though.
    Misery
    aaaaaaagh I've got a nasty canker sore in my mouth right now, I freaking hate these. It's very rare that I get one but when I do it's so freaking painful and just incredibly annoying. Triggers my sensory issues. I never really know what to do about it. And the stupid things can last for quite awhile. Bah.
    tree
    tree
    Alum.

    Will make you salivate after you put the dry white powder on the sore,
    so stand at the sink and spit.

    One child I knew was elated to use alum when I told her about it.
    Her mother had been making anybody in their family apply salt.
    Misery
    Okay, so, I was a bit... out of it over the last few days. Fell into my own negative mess again... bah. The gender stuff + anxiety + dehydration = aaaaaaargh. I've gotten out of that spiral though. Tomorrow I meet up with my therapist again, so that'll be good. One way or another I gotta make some progress here. Feh.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Nice, even though you were struggling, seems like you’re on your way back up. Hope you are drinking water and also that you have a good session with the therapist tomorrow. Here for you if you want to talk or vent.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Temporal downs may make us forget the general progress we do over time. Stay clear on your goals.

    Good luck tomorrow in the therapy.

    Here for you too.
    Misery
    wWpXbRd.jpg

    Today's board game haul. It's all one game that for reasons which make sense in context, happens to be in... *looks at table* 12 separate boxes, which arent just boxes. This is easily my favorite game, I've had it for awhile, this set is the newest content for it. This is one of the things I've been looking forward to most recently.
    Misery
    So I randomly stumbled on an old browser extension that changes all the comments on Youtube videos. Instead of saying whatever they originally said, they just display as "herp derp" over and over again. Installed it. A vast improvement. Now, the next time I get that stupid urge to scroll down, I wont feel like I need a shower and/or an exorcism afterwards.
    L
    Luca
    That is amazing. Omg
    Youtube comments are awful so I’m so happy to hear there’s a way to turn a huge negative into a positive.
    Misery
    So, bit of an update: had my first appointment with a new therapist today... to help me deal with my anxiety and other issues. Not even 10 minutes in, I told her about... the whole gender thing, all of that. Just went right ahead and did it! That's the first time I've managed to tell someone in-person. I just about wrecked myself with nervousness while doing so, but I did it anyway! Went well!
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    It was indeed nerve-wracking, honestly I'm still feeling a bit dazed from it, and it was 5 hours ago. A big step though, yes. Though, I'll admit, I tripped over a rock with that step. Forgot to mention the name to her. Like, I pointed out all the rest of it, didnt say THAT part though, due to being a space cadet.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    ^ Gives you something to take care of next time.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Nice job Sophie. That must have been really difficult. Good work.
    Misery
    I dont suppose anyone currently here might have like a funny video or something to share... coming down off of a bad anxiety attack (storm season, astraphobia, not a fun combination), still really shaky, could use some humor or anything
    Misery
    Nito.jpg


    Look at this crazy thing. From the Dark Souls board game expansion I just got. I kinda want to try to learn to paint minis (which is what this type of figure is called)... the board gaming hobby has quite a few of them... but some of them just look so absurdly intimidating to paint. So many details.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Intimidating to paint? You're lucky to be able to get 10 ft. Near those things without being torn in half!
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    23t4e4rt44e4t5etgg.PNG
    UberScout
    UberScout
    My worst fear in that game.
    Misery
    PtDNIS4.jpg


    Today's special interest haul. It's been a long while since I went and got much of anything new. The really BIG haul has yet to come though.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Dark Souls looks neat. Children under the house, pretty scary.
    Stuttermabolur
    Stuttermabolur
    Do you have Wingspan? I don't know how good of a game it is single player, but I like it quite a lot.
    Misery
    Misery
    I have the digital version of that one, it's pretty good singleplayer actually. I might pick up a physical copy at some point (with expansions).
    Misery
    Thing that amused me today: I'm checking my email, right, and it occurred to me to have a look at the ol' spam folder. Every single thing in there is from the Microsoft Store. ALL of it. Like some sort of sad, obsessive stalker. But with ads. I should note that I bought one, and ONLY one thing from there in the past. Like, 2 years ago.
    Crossbreed
    Crossbreed
    In our case, it has been scammers who were letting us know that our $400 payment to McAfee or Norton Anti-Virus has been successfully processed on a non-existent credit card...! :oops:
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    It's a good reason to get a Linux computer.
    Misery
    Walk out into the garage to get a soda, just nice and calm, suddenly from the other side of the garage, a noise like pop-pop-pop-WHEEEEEEE!!! and, ya know what, I dont even wanna know. Back into the house, go get some Advil. Wont help with the demon clowns or whatever that was, but maybe my neck will hurt less.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Wouldnt be the first time something got in the garage. Havent seen any animals around here in ages though (everything is frozen). Typically we get squirrels and frogs around here. LOTS of them. I've yet to see any cats, there's not much houses around here.
    Misery
    Misery
    I had a quick look UNDER the car though, but I cant see a darned thing under there.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Maybe you haven't seen any cats around there because all of them are stuck in your garage. ;)
    Misery
    An "I should not have clicked that" moment: Was curious about how eye surgery worked, like the sort my father had. So I tried looking it up on Youtube. First of all, NOPE. Secondly, that wasnt the only thing that came up in the search results. With no self control, I clicked one of the OTHER ones. Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh I cant unsee any of that, why did I do that. Mistakes were made
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Oh no. I was slightly traumatized by the “what color are your eyes?” thread and the close-up photos in there. Can’t imagine what you’ve just been through.
    L
    Luca
    The biggest research mistake I ever made was looking up removing a spleen (I was afraid that I was in need of that. Thankfully, I wasn’t.)
    It was as bad as you would imagine. I actually fainted lol
    Misery
    Misery
    @Luca Yeah, I'd imagine that wasnt a pretty sight. The one I saw was, well... I tell ya, brain tumors look even worse than you might think they do. Seeing where it's being taken out of REALLY doesnt improve the aesthetics, either. I dont know why the search thing brought that up. I also dont know why I clicked on it.
    Misery
    Finally updating my gaming emulator/rom stuff today. I hadnt done that in like 15 years, what an absolutely staggering difference it is. That previous setup was practically stone age stuff compared to this. I tend to be really, really bad about updating stuff, but still, shoulda done this much sooner.
    View previous comments…
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    I think Aspychata just means the VR character you used in the video thread where your voice was there and you used the controller to go from environment to environment.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Thank you @1ForAll.
    Sorry, l am waist deep in house repairs, and my brain matter is on overload.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Yes, the VR character was super neat, l loved the hands, and you have a very nice voice. Fantastic job.
    Misery
    So, art thing I've realized: I can do really good at like, the initial line work of a given thing (albeit very slowly, more experienced artists can probably do it MUCH faster). But, when it comes to fill it full of color, that's when everything goes downhill. Things get splotchy. Hm. I'm not sure how to go about getting better at that part, but that's what I need to focus on.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Pastels (dry pastels) are also really good for the coloring part, that's probably the coloring/shading I can do best, since easy blending makes that soooooo much easier and smoother to do.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Better quality colour pencils allow for easier blending and you can press down firmer and minimise line marks and get a more solid colour:
    304789057_429508129160299_8363804644810984660_n.jpg
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    When you said colour pencils i though on wooden pencils. What are exactly colour pencils? Do you have an image?
    Misery
    Okay, so, I've opened up to a few more people that I know online about being transgender (mostly over on Steam). And... every single one of them had already guessed that. In a couple of cases, they said they figured it out like, quite a long while ago. Was it seriously THAT obvious?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    The important thing is as far as I can tell they sound rather accepting of you being Trans. I personally don't have a problem with it. You're a human with free will to be whatever the heck ya want :)
    Kirsty
    Kirsty
    My aunt apparently picked up that I was ‘gay’ in childhood or something and said it was important for me to say it out loud than to ask me. It’s probably more obvious than we realise. School was a living hell and peers picked up on it too. I don’t really put a label on myself as I’m just ‘me’ and don’t necessarily need operations or hormones, but saying that, a flat chest is something I’ve always liked to have…
    Misery
    Well I managed an hour long VR session today without feeling like I was gonna fall apart afterwards. A lot of my physical issues (chronic pain) has been way less lately and getting in the way of stuff less. More room to pursue my hobbies, finally. Still gotta be careful though, I should probably relax for a bit now.
    Misery
    Well, today I finally sat down to start to learn Gamemaker Studio (one of the major game-dev engines). I'd been meaning to do this for AGES, but... yeah, lethargy. Today though, time to do it. So I went through the tutorial videos/guide/something, and have produced the worlds worst version of Asteroids, thus completing the first step. But I made the rocks spin, it didnt tell me to do that, hah!
    View previous comments…
    Angular Chap
    Angular Chap
    Worlds worst version of Asteroids you say....Humanoids...? Hemorrhoids...? No wait, it's an Asteroids remake: Humanoids With Hemorrhoids!
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Good luck @Misery .
    Sounds pretty neat.
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    I bought Construct 2 quite a lot years ago. Never did a game but enjoyed doing some tutorials. Now, my daugther have made a very simple but cute "cats" game using it. Its a fun activity.

    Congratulations on your new project.
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