Misery

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  Misery

• Jun 17, 2023

So I realized suddenly that I made a big mistake. I switched my Xbox username to “Sophie Carre”. I did not think that through. i told a couple of friends just now that I have the console, and… Yeah, they’re going to ask the name of the new account. Almost guaranteed chance that the gender thing is going to be outed to them in the next day or two. Yay, anxiety spike…. Also iPad typing BAH.

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  Misery

• Jun 16, 2023

Will be gone for a couple of days. Going to the lake house for the weekend and trying to type using the iPad brings only madness and tragedy. If anyone needs to say anything to me in that time, I will notice DMs. Probably. Internet is wobbly up there.

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  WiffingWaffles

• Jun 14, 2023

Oi, good afternoon, i trust you're doing well?

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  Misery

• Jun 11, 2023

No, I dont know where this is from.

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  Misery

• Jun 1, 2023

In gaming news, Diablo 4 is about to release. It's been like 5 billionty years since 3 came out (I was there for launch day at Gamestop, I won a standee in a contest I didnt know I was in, I was quite confused, everyone else in the place was quite disappointed). And now 4 is here.
One of those things that just seemed like it'd never just show up already.

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  Misery

• May 30, 2023

4 hour drawing session. Ouch, ouch, ouch. So close to finishing the best thing I've ever made. Wanted to really use proper perspective, so I finally decided to draw a character (same pink haired girl with the black braids from before) at an angle that isnt straight on, and more than just the face, and in a different pose. Didnt think I could do it. DID IT ANYWAY. I'll show that tomorrow probably. Ouch.

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  Misery

• May 30, 2023

Decided to try again at having The Talk this coming weekend. One way or another, I cant keep up my current state. It has started to affect my health. At this point the things keeping me going are my stubbornness and absolute refusal to lose. Even with no energy left, and despite the anxiety, I *will* achieve this goal.

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  Misery

• May 25, 2023

Okay well I'm not going up north after all. Still sorta coming down from the worst breakdown I've ever had. Normally I manage to hide these incidents but this time my control completely broke while I wasnt alone. Dont worry, I'm fine, aside from the gash on my arm. I'll post about this later. There's things to talk about, and questions to ask.

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  Misery

• May 24, 2023

Just want to say, I'm probably not going to be around over the next few days most likely. Going up north, usually I still interact with the forum and such even without my usual PC, but this time I'm just too drained and messed up. Yeah, it's been bad lately. So, radio silence for a bit, I think. But I'll still check and respond to any direct messages.

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  Misery

• May 13, 2023

Okay, so, based on the responses I got with my last update, yeah, that might have sounded a bit dramatic somehow. What happened was an injury: I was trying to open some cards on a board game that came in, and it's got that awful ultra-tight cellophane wrapping. Used the multitool thing on my keychain to try to open it, (continued in comments)

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  Misery

• May 12, 2023

So, bad news, may or may not be completely unresponsive for a day or maybe a couple of days. I'll at least be reading stuff though, so I wont miss messages or whartever. Just dont expect replies or posts during that time.
Good news, I didnt bleed on the cards.

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  Misery

• May 10, 2023

aaaaaaaaagh okay my anxiety just spiked real bad, I found a tick, it had clearly only been there for like a couple of minutes and came off because I looked at it too hard, but still, I'm like two minutes away from a complete panic spiral, someone say something funny and/or calming

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  Misery

• May 7, 2023

So, this happened today. Reconnected with an old friend a few weeks ago, went over to his place today. He'd told me he'd gotten me a gift before I went over, so I could get back to gaming with the old group. I went in thinking it was going to be a headset, since I had mentioned I didnt have one for the PC. This... is a bit more than just a headset. Completely stunned.

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  Misery

• May 3, 2023

So, recently I took some major steps in going forward with my game-dev ideas, and learning what I need to know. I'm learning Gamemaker Studio 2, and also as soon as Unreal Engine has finished its million years of downloading, I'm starting on that one too. Yes, I know, a bit much at once. I have nothing but free time, all the time. So that works out, I think.

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  Misery

• Apr 27, 2023

So I get this box every month, right, that has some random twisty puzzles in it (in their own smaller boxes). Today I open the thing and, okay, one colorful box with a cube in it, and one... plastic bag? There's a "fortune cat" puzzle thing in it. The bag is clear, looks like someone crumpled it up, and has "666" smeared in reddish orange on the side. So that's a thing that happened today.

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  Misery

• Apr 21, 2023

aaaaaaagh I've got a nasty canker sore in my mouth right now, I freaking hate these. It's very rare that I get one but when I do it's so freaking painful and just incredibly annoying. Triggers my sensory issues. I never really know what to do about it. And the stupid things can last for quite awhile. Bah.

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  Misery

• Apr 18, 2023

Okay, so, I was a bit... out of it over the last few days. Fell into my own negative mess again... bah. The gender stuff + anxiety + dehydration = aaaaaaargh. I've gotten out of that spiral though. Tomorrow I meet up with my therapist again, so that'll be good. One way or another I gotta make some progress here. Feh.

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  Misery

• Apr 16, 2023

Today's board game haul. It's all one game that for reasons which make sense in context, happens to be in... *looks at table* 12 separate boxes, which arent just boxes. This is easily my favorite game, I've had it for awhile, this set is the newest content for it. This is one of the things I've been looking forward to most recently.

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  Misery

• Apr 6, 2023

So I randomly stumbled on an old browser extension that changes all the comments on Youtube videos. Instead of saying whatever they originally said, they just display as "herp derp" over and over again. Installed it. A vast improvement. Now, the next time I get that stupid urge to scroll down, I wont feel like I need a shower and/or an exorcism afterwards.

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  Misery

• Apr 4, 2023

So, bit of an update: had my first appointment with a new therapist today... to help me deal with my anxiety and other issues. Not even 10 minutes in, I told her about... the whole gender thing, all of that. Just went right ahead and did it! That's the first time I've managed to tell someone in-person. I just about wrecked myself with nervousness while doing so, but I did it anyway! Went well!