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KevinMao133

KevinMao133

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  • KevinMao133
    I have a hard time following rules

    I also have no sense of boundaries, hence I have a hard time regulating my emotions
    Rocco
    Rocco
    I struggle with rules too. If the rule is not logical or common sense I tend to disregard it.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I relate to the lack of boundaries also. I am careful with other people's but my own boundaries are non existent
    KevinMao133
    Is this an autistic thing: being hyper aware of oneself?

    I am ultra conscious, maybe too self conscious. I do well during the day but struggles at night, when I’m facing my inner demons
    FilterFreq
    FilterFreq
    I would think so. I'm hyper-aware of myself in social situations, but way better when I'm alone, and I bet it works in reverse as well
    blue_bird
    blue_bird
    Me too. I feel I'm too self absorbed for my own good. At night while trying to fall asleep all I can think about are my deficits in life.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Absolutely, @KevinMao133

    An unhealthy amount of self awareness is how I started to emotionally repress and start self tormenting. I'd even think about all my 'failures' as I went about my day and even at night.
    KevinMao133
    Often the victims end up as the perpetuators

    Look at Diddy, he’s a classic example
    View previous comments…
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    @Forest Cat yes he is

    He entered the game through Andre Harrell and rose through the ranks through Clive Davis

    Clive and Harrell ate him first, and he did it to others
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Lots of people had a difficult life but they didn't rape people or behave like an animal because of it. I'm pretty sure he is just a stupid asshole. Calling him a victim is an insult to victims.
    FilterFreq
    FilterFreq
    I would agree that it's really not a good excuse. I completely understand if a victim has serious issues and accidentally takes it out on others from time to time, but using it as a hall pass to hurt others on purpose is just evil
    KevinMao133
    You know how unfair society is towards people like us?

    Whenever neurotypicals act up, they are met with support

    Whenever I act up.. good luck finding someone that don’t hate me

    Why is it that my emotions are being punished and yet others can freely express themselves?
    AprilR
    AprilR
    It is about how you are perceived, which is very subjective. If people like you they are more likely to forgive some offenses they would not forgive from people they dont like.
    KevinMao133
    Thinking long and hard about something: I am narcissistic in some ways

    But the question I have to ask is: does having narcissistic tendencies equate to being a narcissist?
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    You mean pathological narcissist? There is healthy narcissism, but sometimes it gets in the way if it's too much.
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    @All-Rounder I’m still traumatized man. I was just thinking about one of the books I am reading, titled unlearning shame

    I never felt loved, thus it’s hard for me to build connections
    FilterFreq
    FilterFreq
    I've got some tendencies as well. Honestly I think that if it's expressed in a constructive way that helps ourselves and others, it can really be positive
    KevinMao133
    People who don’t know me automatically assume I’m fat because I’m undisciplined

    Truth is, I struggle with body image issues as well as gut issues. My digestive system is horrendous

    It’s hard not to internalize everything but I try not to
    KevinMao133
    I can’t stand those who workout just to attract girls

    You think they will like you by adhering to their standards. In reality, you are nothing but a zoo animal in their eyes.

    Don’t change just because they want you to change. Do it because it will benefit you
    FilterFreq
    FilterFreq
    Does that mean you don't like women who wear makeup? People doing things to improve themselves in any way doesn't seem like a bad thing at all to me
    KevinMao133
    I’m going back to China next month

    That said, I’m scared

    Family problems, cultural differences, feel like I’m inadequate

    I don’t want to go back. My life is good. No need to disrupt my peace
    KevinMao133
    I’m scared by my own emotions
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Emotions can be scary, but as with most scary things, trying to understand the thing will most likely lessen the fear.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    We've all been there.

    I myself have a phobia of back stories.
    KevinMao133
    I work well at night as I’m the most productive

    Yet people keep on trying to convert me, into someone I’m not

    I’m not a morning person, never will be. I don’t do well during the day, that is certain

    Only 30% of the population are morning birds yet they think they are better, when opposite is true
    jsilver256
    jsilver256
    Who exactly are the people converting you to being a morning person?
    KevinMao133
    I just wrote something. Now things become a lot more relaxing

    Hard part is writing, which I did. Proud of myself
    KevinMao133
    How come there are more guests than members? Asking a friend
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    The coolest and most exclusive clubs always have more guests than members.
    FilterFreq
    FilterFreq
    Probably bot traffic and search crawlers. The usual
    KevinMao133
    Daily reminder: porn isn’t sex

    Took me a while to realize
    Tired
    Tired
    That's why homemade or amateur porn is better, because it's closer to what you have in real life, than that cringe they do in studios, but, of course, still not the real thing.
    Kayla55
    Kayla55
    Must be a guy thing, don't see Kevin involved in really bad stuff. Japanese porn is shocking
    Kayla55
    Kayla55
    Come to realise that men can be just as much victim of sexual abuse and porn, so much gay porn but it's not for me.
    I wish internet wasn't so viral, too many lost dignity. I learnt to become religious due to porn comes from devil.
    KevinMao133
    They are quick to label black men as three quick categories: athletes, rappers and thugs when a lot of black men I know fall into neither

    They are quick to label us Asian men as sexually incompetent, aromantic, nerds and those with small penises

    A lot of people don’t fall into those categories, neither do I. Tired of the media portraying us as such

    It’s not right and extremely hurtful
    Markness
    Markness
    One of my friends is Asian American and he’s the total opposite of me. He’s very loud, confident, loves fast food, is right-wing in his political views, and he’s married.

    I agree with you on media stereotypes. They are stupid. I was born in Texas but I don’t talk with a silly accent and I don’t live in the country.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    A lot of Asian men in NYC have platonic female friends it pisses me off. So @Markness your right.
    Kayla55
    Kayla55

    Did you only realise this now, this is old track. They zap your energy, and for ages I just was quiet and peaceful but with narcissistic types the manipulation never ends.
    Never heard of biker gangs promoted as political pride,
    KevinMao133
    Morning people swear they are better lol

    They are not, if you want me to be brutally honest

    They love to criticize us night owls, saying it’s not healthy

    Try telling a person working night shift that, you probably won’t make it out alive
    AuroraBorealis
    AuroraBorealis
    People have different chronotypes. I've never understood some people's insistence on "everyone who gets up after xy AM is lazy". After all, no one ever says "everyone who goes to bed before xy PM is lazy". Different sorts of jobs exist for a reason, and people's rhythms should be way more respected.
    Judge
    Judge
    Age gradually changed me over time from that "night owl" to an "early riser". Though my need for sleep doesn't seem to have changed appreciably either. Healthier? I don't see that. It's just a choice- no more, no less. Go figure.

    Night owls likely live different lifestyles...swing shifts, etc. Early risers may even resent it as their work hours won't allow for it. Simple jealousy? Maybe.
    Kayla55
    Kayla55
    These biker gangs took over crystal meth market from Mexicans. Extracting drugs from sinus meds and distributing illegal drugs onto the market.
    I think they know more than what telling people about this particular sensory drug
    KevinMao133
    Being thinking about something: everything we do can be taken away in an instant

    Truth is our existence is very brittle

    Who are we? Is life just meaningless or is our life just a one giant lie?
    Kayla55
    Kayla55
    Money is power, power corrupts.
    Only interested in high functioning to be in power, truth is low functioning just isn't on agenda, even wound these asd people into believing gifted strategies to point where Asperger's want to be seperated and couldn't care if low functioning people died early. What has humanity become
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