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An impossible question...

Mywaysigning said:
Why do some people have pets and others not?
Click to expand...

Some of us under the claw and dominion of evil - I mean benevolent cat over lords who will guide us into an era of peace and prosperity once everyone has been adopted by a cat and at that time the people shall rejoice and shall smite the nearest dog with a rolled up newspaper whilst shouting, "BAD DOG!"

Why are my 8th grade students such a pain in the you know what while the freshmen are not?
 
Eighth graders are younger and have more energy. By the time they hit high school, things change for them.

Who made you think that eighth graders are different from high schoolers? Yourself?
 
My mother, thankyouverymuch.

Why was I so tempted by the Hickory Sticks today?
 
I am sorry but that information is classified ultra top secret and you lack the necessary security clearance to hear the answer. My associate Agent Igor, will now interrogate you using a red hot cattle iron, a pair of panties, a tube of toothpaste, and a bone saw.

Why haven't aliens given us the secret to faster than light space travel?
 
Aliens did bestow the secret to faster than light space travel and
that's why most of us are where we are. We've been where we
were going and are back already, but you didn't notice because
you blinked.
-------------------------
What color do turtles think about most often?
 
One-quarter of them think about red; likewise for blue, orange, and purple.

Will there be useful information for me in the Lviv Oblast?
 
An alert mind can glean utility from
whatever it finds, regardless of location.

What will I dream about tonight?
 
Me. :D

Why does the dental clinic's sign talk about Pedo Day instead of Children's Day?
 
Somebody thinks Pedo Bear is just a cute little mascot,
appropriately named for the branch of dentistry devoted
to providing care for children.

Why does the Rabbi always get the best lines in jokes
featuring a minister, a priest, and a rabbi?
 
Because most joke writers are Jewish.

Will I like my new co-workers?
 
The degree of affection will be equal to
the inverse of the degree of interaction.

Why does the word 'taco' start with the letter 't'?
 
I would ask a Mexican, but I refuse to set foot in Mexico. Also, starting it with a 'v' would probably be offensive.

Will any opticians be open on Wednesday?
 
Maybe.
It depends on the optician and on the
Wednesday, but probably not
Wednesday Addams, unless you were
planning on going to Dr. Addams.

What was Grendel's mother's name?
 
Grendel’s mother’s name was Forgifte Blod.

What would happen if every insect with wings beat their wings at the same exact rhythm?
 
You've actually never sneezed in your entire life. Every time you think you sneeze, it's actually an ant sneezing nearby.

Why doesn't the chicken just fly to the other side of the road?
 
Because they’re too busy attacking and killing the mute fairy child dressed in green that keeps hitting them with his sword!

What is 0 divided by 0?
 
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