An impossible question...

[Outdated]

376

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

[trustinnerwisdom]

The impossible questions has a name, it is called a koan.
But what is the impossible answer called?
kō′än noun

1. A puzzling, often paradoxical statement, anecdote, question, or verbal exchange, used in Zen Buddhism as an aid to meditation and a means of gaining spiritual awakening.
2. A kōan (/ˈkoʊæn, -ɑːn/ KOH-a(h)n;[1] Japanese: 公案; Chinese: 公案; pinyin: gōng'àn [kʊ́ŋ ân]; Korean: 화두, romanized: hwadu; Vietnamese: công án) is a story, dialogue, question, or statement that is used in Zen practice to provoke the "great doubt" and to practice or test a student's progress in Zen.
3. The monk himself in his seeking is the koan. Realization of this is the insight; the response to the koan[What is the sound of one hand clapping?]Subject and object – this is two hands clapping. When the monk realises that the koan is not merely an object of consciousness but is also he himself as the activity of seeking an answer to the koan, then subject and object are no longer separate and distinct. This is one hand clapping.

 

[Rodafina]

376

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

No wood at all because a woodchuck would keep the wood and not chuck it away.

When a breeze blows the trees, how do they feel about it?

 

[Outdated]

No wood at all because a woodchuck would keep the wood and not chuck it away.

Thanks. That question's been bothering me since I was 5 years old.

 

[Rodafina]

When a breeze blows the trees, how do they feel about it?

 

[Outdated]

Nauseated.

Do fish sweat?

 

[Rodafina]

Yes, and that’s why the sea is salty.

If polar bears could find comfy shoes, would they wear them?

 

[Jeff T]

"If polar bears could find comfy shoes, would they wear them?"

They would probably wear Crocs, as a warning to other polar bears that they are pinnacle predators that can obviously best the fearsome Nile Crocodile- best to leave them alone!

Do Lunarians see the 'Man in the Earth'?

 

[Rodafina]

No, they see the Great Marble.

How many blades of grass does it take to officially become a field?

 

[Kisa the tea]

463,872 for normal blades of grass. 458,791 for larger blades of grass and 475,112 for small blades of grass.

What does the food in my refrigerator do to keep from being lonely when I close the door?

 

[Rodafina]

Food is known for sleeping up to 95% of the day, so when the light goes out, the food snoozes.

How do raindrops feel about falling from clouds?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

They can't feel. But we feel refreshed when they fall from the sky.

How does baking soda absorb odors, without itself getting stinky?

 

[Rodafina]

It zaps the odors with tiny white lasers.

Do fish in rivers have fun in class 5 rapids?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Meow meow meow meow!

If male deer are called bucks and females are does then what sound does a mime make when he gets flattened by a steamroller driven by Pinky and the Brain dressed as Professor Snape and Harry Potter?

 

[Rodafina]

Sqish, squash, just like everybody else.

How many miles/kms over the posted speed limit is it acceptable to travel?

 

[Outdated]

If you can do better than Mach 22 there's not a radar on earth that can track you.

If wishes were fishes then what are wallabies?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Dreams Come True (In adorable little packages)

If blackberries are a menace, then why does the fruit taste so good?

 

[Outdated]

It's a ploy to get your hands near their thorns, they want your blood.

If people ate less beans would there be a noticeable difference in greenhouse gas emissions?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

One of the main causes of tummy trouble is the fermentation of carbohydrates as a food is broken down into simple starches. Beans that are not cooked for long enough are difficult for the body to break down. They stay in the body longer. Thus the fermentation. You decide for yourself whether this affects global climate patterns.

How does the front of the air conditioner cool the air, if the back of it is hot and steamy?

 

[Kisa the tea]

Air conditioners do not actually cool the air. They suck in and expell any hot air that is inside. Think of it like a vacuum cleaner for air. Air also naturally multiplies to fill empty space. The default temperature of air is 15 degrees celsius. So that is what the air becomes. The "cool air" you think is coming in from your air conditioner is actually just newly born cold baby air particles being born.

When and how will Humans finally invent teleportation?