Being annoying and autism

[Ivi]

Definitely.

It's difficult to explain the difficulties we have with PTSD, plus our already 'dysfunctional' socail capabilities making it worse. It's not easy to try doing anything else but what we do in reaction, by default. It's comfortable, comparatively to the things people think. Though it also hurts and drives us deeper in. Especially when people drive us to desire isolation from it all.

So true! Much love to you! I have often difficulties in expressing myself, and many people like to misunderstand my words even just to have an argument, because some people love arguing, which I simply don't like to do. I have noticed people get some arrogant pleasure from arguing with those who they deem inferior, and also bullying people with autism who have difficulties expressing themselves. People don't generally understand the brain chemistry in mental disorders and in autism. I have known people who don't believe that mental disorders or autism even exist! I don't see neither of them as a taboo, but just as part of the human experience. PTSD is just a "normal reaction" to a situation that's not "normal/humane" (not meaning that those who don't develop it aren't "normal" too). But it's just a "game of luck" who gets it, and who gets better and how each person gets better if they do. I approach these things from the physical aspect of the brain chemistry, so I see them more like I see any physical illnesses, rather than differiate them. People who don't believe in mental illnesses tend to see them from somewhat "spiritual perspective", rather than physical. Nobody denies that physical illnesses exist, but the physical aspects of mental health issues remains to be still relatively unstudied (I like to read those studies we already have!).

 

[Jonn]

It takes time and patience, and the support around

This was the message I was originally trying to give.
That it is a slow process, but progress can be attained, at times.
I still have PTSD, but it is well managed.

I acknowledge I am not the best person to talk about these delicate subjects, hence my reticence in adding to the conversation.

There are also complicating factors.
There is a broader context to consider, for me, that goes beyond this website.
It is quite a tricky juggling act.

 

[Xinyta]

So true! Much love to you! I have often difficulties in expressing myself, and many people like to misunderstand my words even just to have an argument, because some people love arguing, which I simply don't like to do. I have noticed people get some arrogant pleasure from arguing with those who they deem inferior, and also bullying people with autism who have difficulties expressing themselves. People don't generally understand the brain chemistry in mental disorders and in autism. I have known people who don't believe that mental disorders or autism even exist! I don't see neither of them as a taboo, but just as part of the human experience. PTSD is just a "normal reaction" to a situation that's not "normal/humane" (not meaning that those who don't develop it aren't "normal" too). But it's just a "game of luck" who gets it, and who gets better and how each person gets better if they do. I approach these things from the physical aspect of the brain chemistry, so I see them more like I see any physical illnesses, rather than differiate them. People who don't believe in mental illnesses tend to see them from somewhat "spiritual perspective", rather than physical. Nobody denies that physical illnesses exist, but the physical aspects of mental health issues remains to be still relatively unstudied (I like to read those studies we already have!).

I've always have been of the belief that people who act cruelly, are insecure themselves. Thus taking it out on someone who they deem 'weaker' than them.

But it also is sad that people do so out of fear. Especially in cases you listed where they treat it as something to mock or completely disregard. But ASD has alway had a historic issue of being misunderstood from the very beginning of it's discovery. Being referred to as a type of psychosis/schizophrenia for decades.

Said inflicted people being considered 'feebleminded' and a 'burden to society'.

Something to be eradicated and/or cured.

Though those that try to look at it as a non-existent condition are truly interesting ones. Because it seem like disbelief out of fear of accepting it as a existing neurological disorder out right.

But at the end of the day. People will believe as they will.

But I do feel that this almost cold reception on Autism by NTs. Is part of the overall problem of why we have so many mental health issues. Barring comorbid conditions at birth.

PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, etc.

Though it is fortunate that we can still adapt enough to eck out something from this life and still be happy, despite hardships. It's just far more difficult to attain.

 

[Cutesie]

I get an urge to be annoying, due to ADHD impulse. Sometimes I enjoy the reaction too. I've always had this quirk but I've learnt to suppress it.

Are you saying that the enjoyment of the reaction is also connected to ADHD? I'm self-diagnosed and can relate to the feeling, but only know that the impulsitivity is part of the condition.

 

[Misty Avich]

Are you saying that the enjoyment of the reaction is also connected to ADHD? I'm self-diagnosed and can relate to the feeling, but only know that the impulsitivity is part of the condition.

Well, I don't know about that, but it just means that I'm aware that I am annoying. Not annoying as in bullying or being unbearable to be around or anything. I just become playful, even if I know my husband isn't in the mood. It's just that he's so cute I feel an aggressive urge to kiss and squeeze him to the point where he sometimes yells at me to let him breathe.

 

[FeatherBird]

Well, I don't know about that, but it just means that I'm aware that I am annoying. Not annoying as in bullying or being unbearable to be around or anything. I just become playful, even if I know my husband isn't in the mood. It's just that he's so cute I feel an aggressive urge to kiss and squeeze him to the point where he sometimes yells at me to let him breathe.

Interestingly, I had a female trainee at work who would repeatedly do certain behaviors I told her to refrain from doing.

When I shared the full story on another forum, it was suggested the trainee was into me, thought the whole thing was in good fun (in a flirtatious way), and wasn't aware I was genuinely upset (and genuinely wanted her to stop)

 

[Misty Avich]

Interestingly, I had a female trainee at work who would repeatedly do certain behaviors I told her to refrain from doing.

When I shared the full story on another forum, it was suggested the trainee was into me, thought the whole thing was in good fun (in a flirtatious way), and wasn't aware I was genuinely upset (and genuinely wanted her to stop)

I used to flirt with men before I met my husband, but if I felt they weren't into me then I'd stop immediately, as I knew I'd just be wasting my time or embarrassing myself. But most men loved me flirting with them.

I remember one time there was a very manly bus-driver that I decided I liked and wanted to flirt with, but before I got a chance to i heard that he was gay and wasn't into women at all. I still liked him though but I didn't let on.

 

[Cutesie]

When I shared the full story on another forum, it was suggested the trainee was into me, thought the whole thing was in good fun (in a flirtatious way), and wasn't aware I was genuinely upset (and genuinely wanted her to stop)

Unless both parties make an agreement otherwise, the word "stop" should require one to stop. It's actually less ambiguous and more powerful than "no". (I don't actually know which specific words you used.)

As I try explaining to my brother all the time, not intending to be annoying doesn't give you the right to keep doing what someone tells you is annoying to them. He's autistic, and often genuinely doesn't understand. (The opposite is true when someone is bothering him; he sees their well-meaning actions as deliberate attacks on him.)

 

[Mono]

I also walk on the balls of my feet whenever I'm not wearing shoes. I always thought I did this to not annoy people / make sound. I didn't even know this was common for people on the spectrum until several years after my diagnosis.

 

[Misty Avich]

I also walk on the balls of my feet whenever I'm not wearing shoes. I always thought I did this to not annoy people / make sound. I didn't even know this was common for people on the spectrum until several years after my diagnosis.

I thought toe-walking was what people on the spectrum do?

 

[Mono]

I thought toe-walking was what people on the spectrum do?

As I walk around and think about it, yeah it does actually seem/feel closer to that I don't think my parents ever noticed it back in the day.

 

[Cutesie]

I also walk on the balls of my feet whenever I'm not wearing shoes. I always thought I did this to not annoy people / make sound. I didn't even know this was common for people on the spectrum until several years after my diagnosis.

Can someone explain why people do this? I don't do it, and haven't noticed it in other auties, but I'm visually impaired and not very perceptive.

 

[FeatherBird]

I used to flirt with men before I met my husband, but if I felt they weren't into me then I'd stop immediately, as I knew I'd just be wasting my time or embarrassing myself. But most men loved me flirting with them.

I remember one time there was a very manly bus-driver that I decided I liked and wanted to flirt with, but before I got a chance to i heard that he was gay and wasn't into women at all. I still liked him though but I didn't let on.

Here's the thing: I totally found the female trainee attractive (and totally would have accepted her advances had she made an official move on me)

Was her workplace routine a flirt on her part? I guess we'll never know.

Whether her workplace routine was a flirt or not, however, I wasn't digging it. The behaviors I told her to stop were important workplace rules, where her refusal to follow could have come back negatively on me.

In other words, it wasn't her possible flirting I took issue with, but her method.

 

[FeatherBird]

Unless both parties make an agreement otherwise, the word "stop" should require one to stop. It's actually less ambiguous and more powerful than "no". (I don't actually know which specific words you used.)

As I try explaining to my brother all the time, not intending to be annoying doesn't give you the right to keep doing what someone tells you is annoying to them. He's autistic, and often genuinely doesn't understand. (The opposite is true when someone is bothering him; he sees their well-meaning actions as deliberate attacks on him.)

The trainee got fired (surprise, surprise) in 2021. I don't remember what exactly my wording was (when I'd tell her to stop her certain behaviors).

What I remember, however, was me stressing how anal the higher ups are about certain rules she'd repeatedly break. She'd often reply by telling me they can fire her (she said it in a snarky way, like she didn't believe they'd really fire her). Then she'd proceed to do whatever behavior I had just told her to refrain from.

 

[IntoTheVoid]

Thanks for all responses

For some reason I haven't received any notification that people are replying here, so I though it's not interesting topic to discuss for community here and forgot about it later

Now I found it and realised here is 5 pages of discussion, so I had something to read