I assume you had to be the one to ask her out and make a move on her.
but yeah reading one of the threads on here made me depressed and sad and at the same time mad and angry, a woman says that her current boyfriend, he sadly didn't get his first girlfriend until his 40s, her.
I feel that way because and I'm sure tons of other people do in the world.
If people don't finally experience something until very late in life it feels more like a loss instead of a win because they feel like it's not the way life is meant to be lived.
It's a brutal cold heart reminder that not everybody gets to date or be in love very young or very early in life.
At the same time it makes me mad and angry because it's a reminder that I'm sure it's definitely more common for men than it is for women to reach a later than normal age and still be single such as your 30s and 40s or older and never been with anyone.
I was 42 before I experience a full relationship. I do not think non-autistic people could understand how hard it was for so long. I could not understand social cues and I guess I was odd so women did not want to be with me.
I think some people will never have the experience and it was possible it was going to happen to me but luck and chance changed that. It will not happen again I think but I also do not really want it to.
I found being with someone very uncomfortable. So many wonderful things that they made it worth it but the price was so high.
With one of my close friends when I am in his home I welcome to open any cabinet in his kitchen and open any package and just eat. He does not care. We are friends.
The woman I was with for eight years came over hundreds of times but she would still ask permission to have a glass of water. I wanted us to be like family, for her to feel so comfortable she could trust me. I told her many times I wanted her to feel comfortable to do anything she liked in my home. The only exception was prescribed medication. I told her she could not handle those things because it was the law.
But she never acted comfortably like we were family, like I wanted. She always acted like a guest. I always felt bad because of that.
When I was a teenager I had a girlfriend and I remember once reaching into her wallet in her purse and she didn’t look at me or care. We were together, it was like family, I was not a stranger and we trusted each other. That is what I wanted with the woman I was in love with and together with for the eight years. But it did not happen.
She never once invited me to come to her home and I do not know what it looked like except for once I asked her to go inside and take pictures with my phone.
I wish it were easier for autistic people. I see so much sadness and confusion because people want to date someone but it does not work out for them. I saw that a lot when I went to in-person autism meetings. It mattered a lot to people but no one knew what to do. I think it is a burden for most of us that we have to accept we will live with.
I can say that dating autistic women was the best, so much better than NT for me. We understood each other so well. When I was on the phone with my girlfriend and would say, “Go away now.” She understood and was never feeling hurt or upset about it. She would say goodbye cheerfully and I do not think an NT could do that. I would do the same for her if I asked if she wanted to do something and she said no. That was the only answer I needed, I never once asked to to explain herself. She said no, that was it.
