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Continuous Struggle

From past experiences I was skeptical of that, but once to change my attitude towards the world as a young adult who did not know about ASD, and next to rewrite my script to relieve my PTSD. But to do that you need to like who you are and advocate for yourself.
 
tree said:
Very similar to the main idea in the book,
A Guide to Rational Living, which @Markness recently
purchased, but hasn't started reading yet.
Click to expand...

I still haven’t because of the physical pain I am struggling with, my work schedule, and my friend is pushing me to exercise as well as get into Final Fantasy XIV but I still feel depressed.

I feel like suicide is an option more and more as I keep living but my dreams keep getting smashed.
 
I believe you've read a little of the book already.
I sent you the Chapter Titles last week.

Table of Contents:
  • How far can you go with self-analysis?
  • You feel the way you think
  • Feeling well by thinking straight
  • How you create your feelings

  • Thinking yourself out of emotional disturbances
  • Recognizing and attacking neurotic behavior
  • Overcoming the influences of the past
  • Does reason always prove reasonable?

  • Refusing to feel desperately unhappy
  • Tackling dire needs for approval
  • Eradicating dire fears of failure
  • How to stop blaming and start living

  • How to feel undepressed though frustrated
  • Controlling your own destiny
  • Conquering anxiety
  • Acquiring self-discipline

  • Rewriting your personal history
  • Accepting reality
  • Overcoming inertia and getting creatively absorbed
  • Living rationally in an irrational world
 
tree said:
I believe you've read a little of the book already.
I sent you the Chapter Titles last week.

Table of Contents:
  • How far can you go with self-analysis?
  • You feel the way you think
  • Feeling well by thinking straight
  • How you create your feelings

  • Thinking yourself out of emotional disturbances
  • Recognizing and attacking neurotic behavior
  • Overcoming the influences of the past
  • Does reason always prove reasonable?

  • Refusing to feel desperately unhappy
  • Tackling dire needs for approval
  • Eradicating dire fears of failure
  • How to stop blaming and start living

  • How to feel undepressed though frustrated
  • Controlling your own destiny
  • Conquering anxiety
  • Acquiring self-discipline

  • Rewriting your personal history
  • Accepting reality
  • Overcoming inertia and getting creatively absorbed
  • Living rationally in an irrational world


People OFTEN SAY to us, "Look, let's suppose that your principles of rational therapy actually work. Let's suppose that you really can, as you claim, teach any intelligent human being not to be desperately unhappy about practically anything. If all this is true, why don't you just put your theories in a book and let us read them. That way, we'd save a whale of a lot of time, trouble, and treasure going for psychotherapy."

We usually demur.

Self-analysis, we point out, has distinct limitations. No matter how clearly the principles of self-help are stated, people often misunderstand or distort them. They read into these principles what they want to read-and ignore some of their most salient aspects. They oversimplify, edit out most of the author's carefully stated its, ands, and buts, and use the most cautiously stated rules as if they were breezy slogans which can be cavalierly applied to any afflicted person in any situation.

Worse yet, the amount of lip-service which thousands of readers give to psychological, moral, social, and other principles in which they stoutly say they believe is amazingly vast. "I just don't know how to thank you," they keep. saying and writing, "for having written that wonderful book! I keep re-reading it all the time and it's been the greatest help to me." But when you correspond or speak with them further, you are startled to find that they often are doing nothing along the lines you painstakingly described in your "wonderful book"-or that their actual behavior is diametrically opposed to your advocacies.

End of the first page of A New Guide to Rational Living.
Click to expand...
Something like this can help @Markness a lot if he would be open to the work necessary to rewrite his internal dialogue. It is not easy to face one's weaknesses and rewrite the lies we tell ourselves just to feel something.
 
I wish I could be someone who proved his naysayers wrong instead of getting defeated by them.
 
Markness said:
They boast about their successes to me while I continue to fail.
Click to expand...


Think about this.

They have success.
According to the evaluations granted by both you and them.

Is *success* a limited event?

Is there only so much to go around, and you believe
they've taken your share?

Or is it possible that you've told yourself a story wherein
it means this, or something like it, to you?

Example:
*I judge my experience as not the equal to theirs, therefore I am a loser.
And losers should be ashamed and unhappy. *

Looks to me that they are not defeating you.
You are granting defeat to yourself.
 
I hope you spend at least a 15 minutes slot on your new therapy book tomorrow, and a 15 minutes slot on writing.

These would both be interesting and progressive things for you to do. Success in any way that we get it, is through making a little but well targeted, effort on our own behalf.

You can do it! Other people are not you, don't spend time ruminating over them. Distract yourself with those 2 little tasks, and having a walk outdoors ideally.
 
My head feels so hot these days and I worry I am missing out the more I remain socially isolated. :(
 
Markness said:
My head feels so hot these days...
Click to expand...


How come your head is hot?

Hot from the weather?
Hot from something you ate?
Hot from...not eating?
Hot from freaking out about something?
What's the deal with the hot head?
 
tree said:
How come your head is hot?

Hot from the weather?
Hot from something you ate?
Hot from...not eating?
Hot from freaking out about something?
What's the deal with the hot head?
Click to expand...

The weather, my blood pressure, flashbacks of past trauma, upset that I am alone and missing out socially, and disappointments regarding my efforts to socialize.
 
Markness said:
The weather, my blood pressure, flashbacks of past trauma, upset that I am alone and missing out socially, and disappointments regarding my efforts to socialize.
Click to expand...


What are your ideas for dealing with these various situations?

The weather you can't control, but you can find ways to
function within its fluctuations.

Presumably health would be the first basic concern.
 
Markness said:
I really don’t have any plans. This isn’t an excuse. My mind keeps drawing blanks.
Click to expand...

This isn't my impression.
To me it looks like you have some ideas
of ways to engage socially.

A problem occurs when you evaluate
your experience. If you don't come away
from an encounter with a *coffee date* or
a phone number, or a declaration that you
and the person you've briefly met are now
friends, you've been calling that a failure.

Calling your efforts failures is short sighted
and not helping you. It's like doing two
push ups and then going into a tail spin
because you didn't get an Olympic medal.
 
tree said:
This isn't my impression.
To me it looks like you have some ideas
of ways to engage socially.

A problem occurs when you evaluate
your experience. If you don't come away
from an encounter with a *coffee date* or
a phone number, or a declaration that you
and the person you've briefly met are now
friends, you've been calling that a failure.

Calling your efforts failures is short sighted
and not helping you. It's like doing two
push ups and then going into a tail spin
because you didn't get an Olympic medal.
Click to expand...

But don’t you think it’s understandable why I feel so frustrated after years of trying and only getting my hopes up?
 
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