Corrupt A Wish

[Flinty]

Granted. You have 64.79891 milligrams of sand. But due to some bizarre wills, that grain of sand owns the Hope Diamond.

I wish I knew who to vote for in the election.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
You do, but those people aren't running.

I wish that I could think of a wish
that nobody could mess up.

 

[inabox]

Granted. But futher information on what the wish is about is classified, so nobody - even your own mind is not allowed access to it.

I wish I owned my own house in the middle of nowhere

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
How do you like living across the road from me?

I wish Hitler would come back to life.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Bob Hitler is alive again and taking the hairdressing world by storm for some reason.

I wish that people understood the difference between an order window and a pick-up window.

 

[Pondering]

Wish granted. Congratulations. Everyone understands the difference between an order window and a pick up window. Unfortunately it is now a trend and no one bothers to use the correct one.


I wish I woke up every morning with a different personality but still looking the same.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
You live in a nursing home with an infinite number of
CENAs to attend you. Each day at 5:15AM a new aide
enters your room and wakes you.

I wish that the pale blue seahorse from the Mare Ingenii
could teach the centaurs from Earth to swim in the air.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. All you hear now is "I'm glad, I'm glad, to have, to have, a friend, a friend, like Hercules, like Hercules."

I wish Elections Canada could get their lines moving faster.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
Since the announcement stating that the lines are
cocaine, people have been moving very quickly; some
people anyway.

I wish Star Gazer Lilies would grow & blossom in my front yard.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Now there is nothing else in your front yard. And they are now a protected species so you can't grow anything else, ever.

I wish I had been told that my friend's mother had died.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
Someone does inform you that your friend's mother died, but
the information leaves you in just as awkward a situation as
if you had never known.

I wish trombones were not so bony.

 

[Vinca]

Granted! You now have a trombone covered in bubble wrap, it is easier to hold, but makes popping sounds when you play it.


I wish I could fly, without the assistance of any sort of man made contraption.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Now, you eat like a bird. A real bird, which means constantly. You have no waking time for anything other than flying and eating.

I wish I could get a day without having to train others.

 

[Vinca]

Granted! You have just one day free from training others, and then every day, for the rest of your life, you are training others.

I wish I had a remote control that would increase or decrease the volume of anything I pointed it at.

(Edited for typo)

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
Your remote control increases and decreases the volume of anything you point it at.
When you point it at the neighbor's dog, he triples in size, so---quickly you decrease
his volume to molecular dimensions. Ooops. He's still just as loud.

I wish that I could make some more jack-in-the boxes.

 

[Vinca]

Granted!

Five men, each called Jack and a consignment of 5 large boxes, one for each Jack to fit in, are on their way to you, via UPS.

I wish the the real moon looked like the moon in one of Rocco's paintings.

 

[ancusmitis]

Granted. The moon is now a gigantic blob of oil paint. It catches on fire and burns for months and months, until it is finally gone forever.

I wish I could write longer stories to turn in this semester.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
Your solve the word count problem by writing all your
stories on a roll of old fashioned adding machine paper.
Your newest work, entitled "The Fat Cat," consists of
one sentence: "The fat cat sat on the mat," repeated
over and over and over and over and over again for
the entire 128 foot length of paper.

I wish that shoveling snow would be less difficult this winter.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Someone has invented self-shoveling snow. It shovels itself entirely onto your roof.

I wish people in this building could move their laundry to the dryer within 4 hours of their wash cycle being done.

 

[Kyle.]

Granted. Someone has invented self-shoveling snow. It shovels itself entirely onto your roof.

I wish people in this building could move their laundry to the dryer within 4 hours of their wash cycle being done.

Granted. They'll now keep it in the dryer all day long. mwuaha

i wish i could fall asleep