Corrupt A Wish

[Butterfly88]

Granted, but you are so productive you have no time for hobbies.

I wish traveling was cheaper.

 

[Skylar]

Granted, it is now 1% cheaper, but living costs are 1% more expensive.

I wish that I could travel the world.

 

[Butterfly88]

Granted, but you get stranded in a foreign country.

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You are now allergic to every other animal, including humans.

I wish it could be 2015 forever.

 

[Skylar]

Granted, you now live this day over and over again, without accomplishing anything.

I wish I could go on holiday now.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. After this holiday, you never go on holiday again.

I wish Lord of the Flies was shorter.

 

[Skylar]

Granted. It is now one sentence shorter.

I wish that my migraines would stop.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted, but you develop severe stomach pains.

I wish my mom and brother weren't always fighting.

 

[Skylar]

Granted, you are now fighting with your mom always.

I wish that I could go to college.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Welcome to Krusty's Klown College.

I wish I didn't have to leave this apartment ever again.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted, but people insist on taking your books, TV, computer, and anything that could possibly entertain you out of the apartment, and you eventually die of boredom.

I wish I wasn't starting to get a cold.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You are starting to get the flu.

I wish my twin sister liked Three Days Grace.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted. She loves them so much that she plays them at full volume 24/7, even when you are trying to sleep, and you eventually start hating them.

I wish Christmas break would last forever.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. An asteroid is on its way to Earth right now. It will probably hit us tomorrow.

I wish my cousins from Vermont were coming over for New Year's.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted, but they are infected with a virus that has turned them into zombies.

I wish I had a time machine.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, here is a machine that makes every chore take more time and, every day contain less time.

I wish I had more miso paste to make soup with.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted, but you have none of the other ingredients to make soup, and a huge snowstorm hits just as you're about to go out and get the other ingredients.

I wish I could stay up all night.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, your sleeping times have not changed, however the world has, day in now called night and night is now called day, shops, school all of it happens while it is light, at night.

I wish I owned a snowplow.

 

[OrSomething]

Granted, but global warming makes it so it never snows again, so your snowplow serves no purpose.

I wish I could hypnotize people to always do what I say.

 

[Beverly]

Granted however, your new ability also causes everyone you use it on to become completely deaf to your voice and, you have been cursed with the inability to draw picture, write, type, learn or, use any form of sign language.

I wish I had some real Absinthe for New Year's Eve.