Corrupt A Wish

[Flinty]

Granted. Now s/he is on the other side of the moon.

I wish that romance weren't dead.

[Side note: trust me, the smartphone delivered the killing blow.]

 

[Katleya]

Granted, then once you've eaten your mobile sandwich it turns back into plastic and everyone dies.

I wish someone I'd really like to see wasn't on the other side of Earth.

[Side note: what's with all these side notes?]

Granted. Now they're on the same side of Earth, but in the stratosphere high above your home.

I wish the severed limbs would grow back.

[Side note: aren't Aspies known for digressing anyways? I started it, so I will take credit blame for it, sorry]

 

[Son of the Sea]

Flinty: Granted, romance is alive...but you're not.

Katleya: Granted, they grow back, but your joints are now more tense than ever - permanently.

I wish someone would tell me what the hell is going on on this thread. This is chaos.

[Side note: you're right, Katleya, you are to blame for this...but now I can't stop posting side notes.]

 

[Katleya]

Granted: some hummingbird called Katleya started chaos, but now you're addicted to chaos and you will have to fight the urge to add side notes, and it's unclear who will win between you & the urge.

I wish I could go back in time.

 

[Son of the Sea]

Granted, you went back in time and didn't post any 'side notes'.

I wish someone would tell me a fascinating fact in a side note.

[Side note: I can definitely resist the urge to write side notes. The only reason I didn't here was to point this fact out.]

 

[Flinty]

Granted, but it's in zero-point type.

I wish Canadians knew their history better.

[Side note: this is not a side note.]

 

[Katleya]

Granted, but you didn't specify which aspect of history, so now every radio program, TV show, article or book is about the history of Canadian actors who made it in Hollywood.

I wish I had a fascinating fact to share.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Granted but there is such a thing as oversharing and now nobody likes you or your fascinating fact about anil Bhagwat on the revolver album.

I wish, I wish I was a man and a fish

 

[Son of the Sea]

[What?] Granted, but you just caught yourself in a river and ate yourself for dinner by accident.

I wish my internet connection didn't keep cutting out, meaning this is the second time I've had to log back in to Aspies Central to type this banal wish.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. It stays off permane

I wish I didn't have to use two email accounts right now.

 

[Katleya]

Granted. Now you have 14 e-mail accounts.

I wish I were in a positive mood.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Granted. You suddenly become filled with gratitude for the small things in life. Even drinking a cup of coffee fills you with ecstasy. And even though all your wishes suddenly come true it doesn't stop your positive mood.

I wish I was in dixie.

 

[Katleya]

Granted. You are, but for some reason people have adopted a Boston accent instead of their usual one, so you're not sure where you are anymore.

I wish the rest of the week would be sunny.

 

[Son of the Sea]

Granted. But you have to stay indoors all week - without air-conditioning - to tend to your permanently tense joints.

I wish I'd done more to keep the 'side note' business going (I miss it now).

 

[Katleya]

Granted. But for that, you had to go as far as creating a "Side note" thread, and now you wonder what to put in it.

I wish the catch to the last wish I was granted were not, in fact, my current reality.

 

[Son of the Sea]

Granted, your tense limbs are fine. But then you go outside and it starts raining.

I wish I could stop thinking about 'side notes' whenever I come on this thread.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Granted. You will never think about side notes again.

I wish I wasn't hopelessly in love with my best friend.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You are not in love with your best friend, who is now in love with you.

I wish I could feel less amorous in general.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Granted but you only feel 0.000001% less amorous.

I wish that I had a Gran Ted.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You are now attached to the corpse of Ted Knight.

I wish that my foot wasn't itchy.