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Corrupt A Wish

Granted. It's time for Economics 101. Infinite money causes infinite inflation. Good luck figuring out how much to pay for that coffee. And to pay for the bodyguards you're going to need to hold back the rioting people who can't pay for anything anymore.

I wish I wasn't quite so good at math.
 
Granted. While operating on your brain to lower your math skills, the doctors accidentally made you NT.

I wish I wasn't subconsciously trying to kill myself.
 
Granted. You are fully conscious of all of your desires.

I wish that Reedstorm17 weren't trying to kill herself.
 
Granted. I'm not. Consciously. You're all stuck with me.

I wish the power would come back on.
 
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Granted. You're driving a DeLorean with a flux capacitor at 88 mph and 2.21 gigawatts hits you due to the power coming back on when the lines weren't repaired properly. Welcome to 1955. Talk to Hedy Lamarr about why your phone's not working.

I wish that Kraft Dinner hadn't been renamed.
 
Granted, it hasn't been renamed. But their food (?) has changed and is now (if it wasn't already) inedible.

I wish I could make it snow whenever I want it to.
 
Granted. You love snow so much, however, that you end up causing a major blizzard. Thanks a lot for trapping us all.

I wish it wouldn't rain during marching band.
 
Granted. You're in that blizzard that Reckoner caused.

I wish I knew why it's so cold in my apartment.
 
Granted, you can focus...but only on the freezing temperatures on account of the blizzard that I somehow caused.

I wish I knew how to stop this blizzard.
 
Granted. You have the know-how, but not the required equipment.

I wish the festival coming up this weekend would move somewhere far away.
 
Granted. The festival is now in Antarctica. And you're going.

I wish everyone in the cafeteria except for me would disappear.
 
Granted, they disappear. But since you wished them to disappear you are arrested and charged and spend the rest of your life in jail.

I wish I had some eggs.
 
Granted. Time for an Easter Egg fight! If you assume they're hard-boiled, it's your loss.

I wish I could stop time and gather my thoughts.
 
Granted.

I wish I could have a career as a wrestling commentator or a Sales Assistant in Game, PC World or Molly Limpet's Fancy Dress shop.
 
Granted. Mr. McMahon has hired you. Your angle is that you do all of the commentating from the middle of the ring. Have fun.

I wish everyone understood this thread.
 
Granted. You have forgotten everything else.

I wish that Irma would suddenly dissipate like Katia.
 
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