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Everyone online, stop using stupid phrases like "you will find your tribe" or "your people".

yeah you need a reference and background checks to breathe nowadays. Which is ironically a barrier to those of us with a learning disability. We need to find something without vulnerable adults and children, it would be a lot easier to get in to I'd imagine. Potentially they'd be vulnerable people in any volunteering opportunity. I don't know what would apply. Perhaps a browse of a local volunteering agency website would provide ideas. Dog shelter? Animal Farm? A furniture reuse charity could do with some muscle like Tony. Free gym 😁
 
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Tony Ramirez said:
It is making me sick hearing it. So far, I have not "found my tribe". I found nothing but misery going to nothing but new social groups trying and trying. Getting sick mentally and physically. Mentally, causing me to go on higher antidepressants and antipsychotics. Physically causing me to actually catch more colds, which before I once went three years without catching a cold. Never mind the body aches and the physical headaches and the cramps and the agonizing pain I get in my body.

It's always the same thing when I try a new social group. I try to talk to people, but I am always spoken over. It gets to the point where every person is engaged in a conversation, even people right next to me and yes I try to talk to them, but I am often ignored and spoken over. Then I just give up and end up putting on headphone every time to drown out their chatter. This happens last Friday when I joined a new Meetup cooking club that my "two friends" were in. Not only after my meal was not even in the picture, but I was the only one without a picture. Even the two newcomers engaged in detail conversations and the new women just said glad to meet you saying goodbye but meanwhile talked to everyone including a "shy guy" who sure knew how to talk.

I am tired of every group containing fake introverts who might possibly be autistic. The only autistic I meet IRL are level 3 worse than my sister than can't even talk sentence and just make noises. Everyone else looks like they might be a level 1 until they start talking, then they are surely normal.
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I hear you. I havent found my tribe either. I dont know what a tribe is really. I have recently got some new friends and have a family that loves me the way I am. I dont know if that is s tribe. I agree the word tribe is a vague term that people like to use to ease their loneliness maybe? Feel like they belong somwhere? I dont think this is bad. I dont like the lack of clarity and loose use of words that can become a lazy way of responding or writing. Maybe ‘tribe’ or ‘my people’ fit this?
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I believe you. I am going to try to apply for some volunteer services but if they require references and/or college I swear to God I will not only post it here but I will even show you screenshots as proof
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Yes please do. I have volunteered at animal shelters and references were not a requirement. References are usually for paid labor. I'm having a hard time understanding what "references" a volunteer situation is asking for. So yes, please take a screen shot and post it so we can see what they are asking for.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I will even show you screenshots as proof
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No need, I understand. I have had to provide references and be vetted for many volunteer positions myself. There are so many types of volunteer jobs out there it's possible to find one that isn't picky, just grateful to have a warm body. There are always more volunteer jobs than there are volunteers.
 
Once again I think you are right and I am wrong. I don't want to think to far ahead. But I think my people are the ones from my current church.

They messaged me even the one that is from Brazil that was forced to go back home. The one that helped me get a therapist is actually now helping me with education and employment resources. Yes she actually contacted them unlike the other one and will once again assist me in filing out a forum like with the therapist. The poor thing is even four months pregnant.

You understand all the betrayal I had in 2024 ruined my trust in people. It's hard to forum a bond to trust people. Looking back at the Meetup even that was not a disaster. They all smiled at me and I did talk to them. I also was not ignoring not like college or trade school. Yes I am going to the next two BTW.
 
That's great news. l run into way more distrustful people, or controlling people in my current state of residence. I found people in LA were actually quite nice and friendly when l lived there. People are vindictive, spiteful, even asinine here, and routinely gaslight senior citizens . So l try to keep this in mind, and it helps me not take it personally.
 
So much depends upon your attitude when engaging with people. If you express enjoyment at what you are doing and ask people about themselves and then actively listen I have found that people are very open to interaction.
 
Gerald Wilgus said:
So much depends upon your attitude when engaging with people. If you express enjoyment at what you are doing and ask people about themselves and then actively listen I have found that people are very open to interaction.
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Agreed! People love to talk about themselves. I nod and smile and say tell me more. I’ve been told i’m a great conversationalist (but bored out of my mind 😜) About 40% true. I’ve had to learn it though.
 
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