From a neurotypical's perspective

[Aspychata]

Simply this, there was no social media where we could share differences. Social media opened up awareness, acceptance, and all that good stuff. This in turn opened up an interest in Autism. But there still are many uneducated people out there that still are very negative. l have encountered this with my mother who couldn't be any more a high functioning autistic person if she tried. And she hates me because l suggested that we may fall in the ND area.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My sons mother in law, keeps thinking she is being helpful asking me to look her in the eye, socialize more when at a gathering together. She has no idea her grandson may be on the spectrum. She should spend more time educating herself for her grand sons sake, then getting into my business. I turning 70 in a few weeks know how to live my life.
do not need her help.

 

[Misty Avich]

My sons mother in law, keeps thinking she is being helpful asking me to look her in the eye, socialize more when at a gathering together. She has no idea her grandson may be on the spectrum. She should spend more time educating herself for her grand sons sake, then getting into my business. I turning 70 in a few weeks know how to live my life.
do not need her help.

Double empathy problem. Many NTs can't put themselves in an autistic person's shoes and respect their personal preferences. And it's not only autistics that may struggle with eye contact, non-autistic people with social anxiety or PTSD or Fragile-X syndrome can also have the same struggle. So it's not like lacking eye contact is strictly unheard of.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

She demands I look her in eye, fortunately my wife was in washroom at time. I Do not like causing issues with my sons in laws, can only bit my tongue for so long. This lady lost her husband, recently. Daughter likes getting us together I'm trying to hold myself together in her presence.

 

[Aspychata]

@Ronald Zeeman - congrats on hitting that 70.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

@Ronald Zeeman - congrats on hitting that 70.

Have not hit it yet, worried about 71 as life is musical chairs and 70 is an inflection point.

 

[Outsider]

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for sharing their experiences.
Regarding the identification of autistic individuals: I thought that elementary school teachers are instructed to identify POSSIBLE signs of autism, and then advice parents to take their kids to a professional to see if a child is autistic or has some other condition.
Now, about the eye contact -- it seems to me that autistic individuals were taught incorrectly how to make it. The incorrect information makes eye contact difficult for everyone, including neurotypical people like myself.
When done correctly, the eye contact should last for about 2 seconds in the very beginning of a conversation. That's all. After that you look in person's direction, preferably at his/her face, but not in the eyes. Don't look at person's shoes, though, this is kind of unusual and complicates the communication .You might make another eye contact after 5 minutes of conversation, but don't do it frequently.
I would like to know if someone received eye contact instructions different from my suggestions. Depending on the response, I might post a separate thread on the topic of eye contact.

 

[Crossbreed]

I love looking at my wife's and daughter's pretty eyes/faces. (I dote on both.)
Less so, if they are angry with me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The only time any body has ever said anything about looking them in the eye is my sons mother in law, I guess my son must have mentioned to her I most likely am on the spectrum and she thinks she is helping me I just think she is an idiot. What she does not know is I suspect her grandson is on the spectrum. I will quietly help him.

 

[Outsider]

The only time any body has ever said anything about looking them in the eye is my sons mother in law, I guess my son must have mentioned to her I most likely am on the spectrum and she thinks she is helping me I just think she is an idiot. What she does not know is I suspect her grandson is on the spectrum. I will quietly help him.

I 'm sure you're doing fine. I 'm a data analyst. In my qualified opinion, one person's viewpoint means nothing. I wonder what she would say about my post.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My sister in law a teacher just a few months ago realized her husband my brother is on the spectrum after a seminar
I just told her I know knew it all along as was my older brother and sister. I love visiting my brother best man at my wedding His special interest currently is making money on stock market, he nailed it Has insights every body else missed. hope to see him again in 2 weeks. We have the most interesting conversations.

 

[vergil96]

When done correctly, the eye contact should last for about 2 seconds in the very beginning of a conversation. That's all. After that you look in person's direction, preferably at his/her face, but not in the eyes. Don't look at person's shoes, though, this is kind of unusual and complicates the communication .You might make another eye contact after 5 minutes of conversation, but don't do it frequently.
I would like to know if someone received eye contact instructions different from my suggestions. Depending on the response, I might post a separate thread on the topic of eye contact.

Interesting. I do it exactly like that and I was given the feedback that I don't make enough eye contact, but most people wouldn't comment it (up until last year or so?), it was autism-related feedback? I look at someone's face, when I want to see their expression for more context for sure

 

[Outsider]

Interesting. I do it exactly like that and I was given the feedback that I don't make enough eye contact, but most people wouldn't comment it (up until last year or so?), it was autism-related feedback? I look at someone's face, when I want to see their expression for more context for sure

My brother had received an incorrect information about eye contact, so you're not alone in doing something right and then being told the opposite. I wonder where the false information comes from. My best guess is that some psychologists live in an ivory tower, so to speak, and have their own theories about eye contact that have nothing to do with the reality. But this is just a guess...
Anyway, if there is an NT psychologist or social worker in this forum, who thinks that I'm wrong about the eye contact, I would like to have a chat with him or her.

 

[vergil96]

My brother had received an incorrect information about eye contact, so you're not alone in doing something right and then being told the opposite. I wonder where the false information comes from. My best guess is that some psychologists live in an ivory tower, so to speak, and have their own theories about eye contact that have nothing to do with the reality. But this is just a guess...
Anyway, if there is an NT psychologist or social worker in this forum, who thinks that I'm wrong about the eye contact, I would like to have a chat with him or her.

Hmmm, my psychologist didn't comment my eye contact at all, but it was more in the autistic community. I do have periods of time when I'm tired and I find eye contact extremely distracting or I just prefer to be side by side or look elsewhere for mkst of the time. But it's not always. It depends. I also mostly look at people's noses and eyebrows, nobody notices a difference and I'm not sure if it's something NT people do or not.

 

[Outsider]

Hmmm, my psychologist didn't comment my eye contact at all, but it was more in the autistic community. I do have periods of time when I'm tired and I find eye contact extremely distracting or I just prefer to be side by side or look elsewhere for mkst of the time. But it's not always. It depends. I also mostly look at people's noses and eyebrows, nobody notices a difference and I'm not sure if it's something NT people do or not.

Yes, I look at people's noses, lips, chins, etc. Sometimes I even look at the surroundings without moving my head, so they wouldn't think that I lost interest in the conversation. Your psychologist doesn't think that something is wrong with your eye contact, this is why he/she doesn't comment on it.

 

[brandybild]

Why is a diagnosis of autism more common these days? Well, I do agree in part with the comment that "more people are looking" which, in my opinion is good. The educators and doctors have become more aware of, and open to, considering this, and it has much less stigma now than it did years ago. I was born in the 1950s and autism was essentially unknown and thought to be only in non-verbal, non-functioning people. Me? I was just considered plain old "weird" by most, in spite of high intelligence, rapid learning, etc. I'm not sure today's Aspies get called "weird" any less than I did (nor, is it any less painful, I suspect) but at least the teachers/principals/parents are not joining in that chorus. Although I do not have enough background to judge the suggestions that todays trends to wait to start a family until the parents are in their 30s, I do suspect there may be much truth in that. I did not receive a formal diagnosis until I was in my mid 50s and by then it did not really matter much. I'd already long ago decided that I am not "broken" nor do I need "fixing"....I just accept that I see the world differently than others, and I'm ok with that. I have certain strengths, which I like, and I know being a bit out of the mainstream is the price I pay for those strengths and gifts. To me, it is a good trade. And, as a side observation, I have not been called "weird" to my face for several years now, I suspect that as the people I associate with age (along, of course, with me growing older) they become more accepting of the idea that my experiences, my thoughts are just as valid and not in any way less valuable than their own. No one my age cares much about what others think anymore, about being in the "IN" crowd, or worries about being accepted. So, time does heal most wounds it seems.

 

[brandybild]

I can tell you why more people are being diagnosed.

It's because more people are looking these days.

Before "autism" was a "spectrum," people like me were just "weird." Then, people started asking us "What is it like?"

Now, we're members of a minority group, with our own opinions about ourselves.

Born in the 50's, no spectrum, I was called "weird" dozens of times a day in elementary school and beyond, not only by peers but by teachers and other "professionals". No one has ever asked "what is it like" other than my second wife - my first wife left because her friends convinced her that I was "just too weird" although we had a higher standard of living than most of her friends, went more places, did more interesting things. My second wife really, really wanted to know about me, the questions were truly seeking information, not a put-down or condemnation. I don't consider myself a member of any "minority" group, I'm just a guy who had to work harder at being normal and accepted (successfully) and came to the conclusion pretty early on that "I'm not broken and I don't need to be fixed" and that I got some gifts that others envy - as a trade for the normal things I don't have and I had to fight hard to learn.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Why is a diagnosis of autism more common these days? Well, I do agree in part with the comment that "more people are looking" which, in my opinion is good. The educators and doctors have become more aware of, and open to, considering this, and it has much less stigma now than it did years ago. I was born in the 1950s and autism was essentially unknown and thought to be only in non-verbal, non-functioning people. Me? I was just considered plain old "weird" by most, in spite of high intelligence, rapid learning, etc. I'm not sure today's Aspies get called "weird" any less than I did (nor, is it any less painful, I suspect) but at least the teachers/principals/parents are not joining in that chorus. Although I do not have enough background to judge the suggestions that todays trends to wait to start a family until the parents are in their 30s, I do suspect there may be much truth in that. I did not receive a formal diagnosis until I was in my mid 50s and by then it did not really matter much. I'd already long ago decided that I am not "broken" nor do I need "fixing"....I just accept that I see the world differently than others, and I'm ok with that. I have certain strengths, which I like, and I know being a bit out of the mainstream is the price I pay for those strengths and gifts. To me, it is a good trade. And, as a side observation, I have not been called "weird" to my face for several years now, I suspect that as the people I associate with age (along, of course, with me growing older) they become more accepting of the idea that my experiences, my thoughts are just as valid and not in any way less valuable than their own. No one my age cares much about what others think anymore, about being in the "IN" crowd, or worries about being accepted. So, time does heal most wounds it seems.

This topic has been covered before, but to summarize, you are correct, it is being diagnosed more often. Several reasons for this:
1. As you suggested, increased awareness, as well as many being diagnosed as adults.
2. The ASD-1/Asperger's variants are now included, as are other variants, under the umbrella of the autism spectrum.
3. Basically, "old eggs and sperm". Society now-a-days are more likely to begin families in their 30's and 40's, not in their late teens and early 20's, as was the norm some 50-60 years ago and earlier. From an obstetrical perspective, a pregnant woman who is 35 is considered and literally labeled as "geriatric". (I know, because this is part of my profession). Once you are in your early to mid 30's, the incidence of Down's Syndrome, autism, and a long, long list of congenital anomalies rise up significantly.
4. The rise in obesity has led to hormonal alterations in insulin, thyroid hormones, testosterone, and estrogen. All of which, independently, are associated with an increased risk of autism, but combined creates added risk.
5. The rise in environmental toxins in our water, air, and food are independent risk factors.
6. Inflammation from auto-immune diseases and viral infections during pregnancy.
7. Some geographical areas associated with the technology industries (California's Silicon Valley, for example) tend to attract autistic males and females. Their children will be at a higher genetic risk of having an autism condition.
8. Premature birth at very early gestation (prior to 28 weeks) is associated with an elevated risk of autism because the developing brain is being robbed of all the maternal hormones and growth factors associated with the normal development of the brain, as well as the fact that the extrauterine environment is absolutely obnoxious and overstimulating to the premature brain, resulting in abnormal neural growth patterns. This would be considered one of the "injury models" of autism. 30-40 years ago, most of these babies would have not survived to have autism.

These are just a handful of potential reasons for increased diagnosis of autism.

The older the parents, the more likely the time that #3, 4, 5, and 6 will have compounding effects.

Conversely, what I know now, after some 40 years in the field of neonatology, human beings should be having children in their late teens and early 20's from a physiologic perspective. The less likely to have age-related DNA strand breaks, obesity-related hormonal perturbations, time of contact with environmental toxins, and premature birth due to inflammatory processes and incompetent cervix. This societal idea that (1) I need to complete my education (2) establish my career and (3) then maybe consider a family is causing not only a rapid decline in the overall birthrate, but also significantly increasing the numbers of babies being born premature with and without autism and congenital anomalies.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Why is a diagnosis of autism more common these days? Well, I do agree in part with the comment that "more people are looking" which, in my opinion is good. The educators and doctors have become more aware of, and open to, considering this, and it has much less stigma now than it did years ago. I was born in the 1950s and autism was essentially unknown and thought to be only in non-verbal, non-functioning people. Me? I was just considered plain old "weird" by most, in spite of high intelligence, rapid learning, etc. I'm not sure today's Aspies get called "weird" any less than I did (nor, is it any less painful, I suspect) but at least the teachers/principals/parents are not joining in that chorus. Although I do not have enough background to judge the suggestions that todays trends to wait to start a family until the parents are in their 30s, I do suspect there may be much truth in that. I did not receive a formal diagnosis until I was in my mid 50s and by then it did not really matter much. I'd already long ago decided that I am not "broken" nor do I need "fixing"....I just accept that I see the world differently than others, and I'm ok with that. I have certain strengths, which I like, and I know being a bit out of the mainstream is the price I pay for those strengths and gifts. To me, it is a good trade. And, as a side observation, I have not been called "weird" to my face for several years now, I suspect that as the people I associate with age (along, of course, with me growing older) they become more accepting of the idea that my experiences, my thoughts are just as valid and not in any way less valuable than their own. No one my age cares much about what others think anymore, about being in the "IN" crowd, or worries about being accepted. So, time does heal most wounds it seems.

Sounds like my experience turn 70 in a couple of weeks what is is. life is good now.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm like most Aspies the truth matters like evidence not spin. Told my wife to cancel my scientific America, six months ago as I saw a bias to some of the editorial content and articles. Then found out chief editor got fired.