Guys, don't get attached to women you meet online.

[Bellatrix]

You mean all those hot young women in Russia who sent me all those unsolicited emails pledging their eternal love and devotion were insincere?!

I'm devastated.

(No, really.)

 

[Bellatrix]

If you truly beilive online relationships are not for you, then that's fine. how about online friends? its probably a better fit.

Just "friends"? I myself don't belong to any of these online dating sites, but I've always been under the impression people join up to find more than just friendship. That's how it's always promoted in advertisements on T.V. anyway.

 

[Mathalamus]

Just "friends"? I myself don't belong to any of these online dating sites, but I've always been under the impression people join up to find more than just friendship. That's how it's always promoted in advertisements on T.V. anyway.

dating sites or not just for dating. you can find more friends there if you want to. the best relationships arise from friends anyway.

 

[Vanadium50]

Third Point: Christianity in this culture is, for lack of grace and tact, garbage. Now, I am a Christian by studied choice and only barely.

And then you write

You rarely find people who are Christian by choice after they have studied many religions and actually know science.

So you are implying two contradictory things. When you say most people don't become Christian by choice you appear to imply that Christianity is unfounded; yet you yourself admitted to be Christian by choice. Are you saying that

1. Christianity is, indeed, the valid choice, but the fact that there are so few "true Christians" is what keeps people from making it

OR

2. You chose some version non-standard form of Christianity. For example, there are some people (Jehovah Wittnesses and Christodephians) that reject deity of Christ, there are some sects that reject Paul's books, and so forth?

What are your actual beliefs?

In any case, the rest of what you wrote doesn't answer my question. What you were basically saying is that Southerners are not very serious when it comes to their faith. But, if so, why would their faith make them judgemental towards either foreigners or people with Asperger? I know in the beginning of your reply you said the issue is not their religion but their culture. However, I find a lot of people disagreeing with you: if you go to this post http://www.city-data.com/forum/city-vs-city/954097-westerners-vs-southerners-tell-me-who.html#b you will find several people saying that church is a reason why southerners are judgemental. So the question is: if they are only "starbucks christians" as you call them, why would such a weak faith be a REASON for anything at all, INCLUDING being judgemental?

Another interesting question is my ex-girlfriend who lives in Nebraska. Now she is Southern Baptist, so even though Nebraska isn't the South, I am guessing Southern culture would be relevent? Now she had no issues with my Asperger at all. On the contrary, everything was fine and well when I was a loner for the duration of two years. But then the moment I was invited to a party, it was very hard to get her past that, I couldn't ever convince her that just because there was drinking in background it doesn't mean that I was drinking (I don't drink); also she had huge issue with use of god's name in vain, as well as my forwarding on facebook "I ****en love science" because of F word that I didn't notice, and she also was really jealous, like she thought htat if skype malfunctions it means I cheat on her, and she also was jealous when I mentioned my mom's landlords' two sons come over and one of them bringing a his daughter. Now she lives very sheltered life, like she was 32 when we broke up, still living with her parents and never been to college

Now she seems the opposite to what you describe. So are you saying that "southern baptists" in midwest are not really representatives of "southern" Chrisitans down south?

One of my favorite cultures to see in religious circles is the Messianic Jewish culture (another explanation for another time).

I happened to be a Messianic Jew so I would love to hear what you have to say about it -- although of course it is off topic seeing how there weren't any Messianic Jews in Mississippi.

 

[pineman93]

this thread seems the best: before read im not asking for money just advice and opinions, so a girl who lives in my state sent me a friend request and started to message me on facebook,so we started talking she is smitten with me i think because of the messages she sent me, to the point she is a model, who went to a siminar in the country of turkey, well i guess someone stole her credit card number and spent alot of money, so she has asked me to raise 1000 dollars in short peroid of time, point of the question is what should i do, do nothing,give her what money i have, see what money i can earn or find, i have not met this girl in person.

As well should i let my parents know about the situation and the person her self, i am a legal adult but i still live with my parents, so as far as i see still being their child adult or not they should know.

not to be mean but does anyone think this is legit, and do u think this is a good cause to ask people for money/ start a fundraiser or kickstarter, and what do u think is a good cause to ask people for money or to raise some.

now i am not trolling or asking for money only opinions and advice thank u. if you want proof i have face book messages

 

[Gabi]

this thread seems the best: before read im not asking for money just advice and opinions, so a girl who lives in my state sent me a friend request and started to message me on facebook,so we started talking she is smitten with me i think because of the messages she sent me, to the point she is a model, who went to a siminar in the country of turkey, well i guess someone stole her credit card number and spent alot of money, so she has asked me to raise 1000 dollars in short peroid of time, point of the question is what should i do, do nothing,give her what money i have, see what money i can earn or find, i have not met this girl in person.

As well should i let my parents know about the situation and the person her self, i am a legal adult but i still live with my parents, so as far as i see still being their child adult or not they should know.

not to be mean but does anyone think this is legit, and do u think this is a good cause to ask people for money/ start a fundraiser or kickstarter, and what do u think is a good cause to ask people for money or to raise some.

now i am not trolling or asking for money only opinions and advice thank u. if you want proof i have face book messages

Doesn't sound legit... I would say the odds of that being true are very very low.

My advice: don't give her money. Say to her that you are sorry and you don't have that kind of money and that you don't think it you two are in a point in your relationship were you two would lend each other money, cause you don't know each other that well. Then, wish her good luck.

If what she said is true and she does like you, she will find a way to raise the money she needs and still talk to you and meet you when she gets back or meet you soon if she is already in the U.S.

 

[Vanadium50]

this thread seems the best: before read im not asking for money just advice and opinions, so a girl who lives in my state sent me a friend request and started to message me on facebook,so we started talking she is smitten with me i think because of the messages she sent me, to the point she is a model, who went to a siminar in the country of turkey, well i guess someone stole her credit card number and spent alot of money, so she has asked me to raise 1000 dollars in short peroid of time, point of the question is what should i do, do nothing,give her what money i have, see what money i can earn or find, i have not met this girl in person.

As well should i let my parents know about the situation and the person her self, i am a legal adult but i still live with my parents, so as far as i see still being their child adult or not they should know.

not to be mean but does anyone think this is legit, and do u think this is a good cause to ask people for money/ start a fundraiser or kickstarter, and what do u think is a good cause to ask people for money or to raise some.

now i am not trolling or asking for money only opinions and advice thank u. if you want proof i have face book messages

It is a classical dating scam. She is not the person whom she says she is. Her photograph might be stolen from some newspaper or wherever. In fact, "she" might be a man (or even if its a woman, and even if the photo is hers, won't make any difference -- everything else she says is still a big fat lie). NO SHE DID NOT LOSE HER CREDIT CARD!!!!!!!!! She lied to you in order to get you to send her money. And you are not the only person she does it to. She does it to several people every day, and follows the same script: befriend someone, tell them she "lost" credit card and ask for money. Most people stop talking to her at that point, but the gullible few in fact send her the money. Since she does it to 1000-s of people, I am sure the "gullible few" are enough to give her a fortune. SO DON'T SEND HER ANY MONEY, BLOCK HER ACCOUNT AND REPORT HER TO AUTHORITIES.

P.S. The way I know all this is that it is a classical thing that is done. Run on google "dating scams" and you will see how common it is.

 

[Judge]

not to be mean but does anyone think this is legit, and do u think this is a good cause to ask people for money/ start a fundraiser or kickstarter, and what do u think is a good cause to ask people for money or to raise some.

No, no and no. The amount of criminal fraud across the Internet and the phone lines is astounding. Any time money or property is requested or implied, that's a horrendously bad sign. No matter how "legitimate" it may appear.

 

[pineman93]

i would like say not that im defending her she found out as she was leaving or trying to comeback to the states this is what got from the message if anyone wants to see the messages let me know i can link the face book accounts if anyone wants

 

[pineman93]

Doesn't sound legit... I would say the odds of that being true are very very low.

My advice: don't give her money. Say to her that you are sorry and you don't have that kind of money and that you don't think it you two are in a point in your relationship were you two would lend each other money, cause you don't know each other that well. Then, wish her good luck.

If what she said is true and she does like you, she will find a way to raise the money she needs and still talk to you and meet you when she gets back or meet you soon if she is already in the U.S.

if shes not scamming i hope she has friends and family to help her if i knew 100% she wanst i would like to help ouy to if i could

she also said she would pay me back i will also say i found it a bit odd she may really need it but you never know

 

[Gabi]

i would like say not that im defending her she found out as she was leaving or trying to comeback to the states this is what got from the message if anyone wants to see the messages let me know i can link the face book accounts if anyone wants

Copy and paste the message here

 

[pineman93]

hi, i don't think we have met before i saw your profile while trying to search for an old school friend who coincidentally share the the same first name with you!!can you tell me a little more about you then it'll be my turn, take care.

THU 3:02PM
well i went to Parkersburg High School,wood county wv,I\ class 2012 Im name is Zachary T Manning I like to run outside a bit play video games Ive lived in cabell county most of my life


How are you doing?,as for me am cool and lonely and i'm new to this site and am 25 years old. Well more about me I am single never married with no kids and currently seeking for a relationship but not rushing myself.I`m a model by work i'm 5`7" 134, with a athletic build, physically fit,warm,caring, honest, good listening, and a positive. Am right now in Istanbul Turkey on a Modeling Seminar and will be back home hopefully in 3 days time.time. I've got a great sense of humor.I work hard,and know how to have fun. I am real easy person to talk to and a good listener. I love going to the movies,I like swimming, fishing, listening to music and dancing,going bowling and also a good cook. I will like to know about what makes you the special person you are today,what are goals,what do you do for fun and tell me about your background?I dont wanna be too inquisitive so i'll stop here talk to you latter and hope to hear back from you soon

THU 6:31PM
Well you see I have aspergers and still live with my parents for now I intend to start college soon I do intend to live on my evenuatlly im 22 be 23 in a week or two, like i said before I like running and might want to be a personal trainer one day, I also like walking and exploring new places,I also think its cool you have gone to other countries i have never been out side of the us before,as for college i hope to start soon retake my act and try this fall or next

FRI 2:36AM

Hi, how are you doing thanks for the message, I like what you have to say about yourself. So tell me what do you think of relationships? i really want to more know about your past relationship. have you ever met anyone off the internet? What was it like? well i have a diverse background too, my Dad from Australia while my mom from united state,I'm the only child of my parent,I grew up mainly in Australia my Dad passed on, Mother had to remarry. too bad she married the wrong guy! My step-father is a drunkard and i suspect he uses drugs also. Twice he attempted to rape me, thanks heaven he did not succeed! when i told mother about it, she didn't believe me and both of them started intimidating me in the house. so I came down to united state cos i had a job offer, more so to stay with my ground ma before she passed away late last year so ever since then i live alone.Am not much party like my career takes the better part of my time and life. my goals and dreams is to have a successful career and to live a good life,and maybe meet someone that believes in unconditional love, someone who know the true meaning of what we call a Family, its really something i have always dreamt of and I'm really working hard towards that direction. hope to hear back from you soon.

FRI 5:05AM
I never been in a realationship before, im sorry about what happeaned to u, both my parents divocred and remarried, my step parents are good people, both of my step parents had 2 kids each along with my 3 biological siblings,so i have so seven siblings, two have childern of there own,i was around my grand parents alot both mom and dads, i even knew my great grand parents on my of my grand father on my dads side, my great grand father died when i was 8 he was either in his late 80s or early 90s, my great grand mother died when i was 14, sweet lady i do miss her shE was 94, i miss here that was in 07, My moms dad also died that year i miss him alot to, he smoked his whole life or a least as far as i knew had a stroke and died 7 months later, it was awful,i still miss, I my self im not a partier my self but i would like to try new and different things, ive always like the sound of uncondicational love, love someone for who theay are,as for realation ships i alwaYS want to have one eventually, you see i dont really have a job yet or a divers license,thats something i intend to change, i get money by do work around then house chores basically,if you need more info or detailed info let me know here some links to sites about aspergers if you want to know more or just ask me

 

[pineman93]

Thanks for getting back in touch with me.sorry to hear about your past relationship....everyone has his /her past experience but sometime in life we need to forget about the past and face the brighter future cos it make us who we are and stronger!! I know you will think what is a pretty lady like me doing on here .Yes the reason I came on to the internet to find the special person who deserves all the love and passion that makes up my heart and soul is because I do not have the time to meet others out in a public setting,Well i see relationships as one of the most natural things that can happen in life and i believe a good relationship is built on trust,honesty,togetherness, i have been hurt but it doesn't put me off totally its only made me wiser.I have been into just 1 relationship all my life.We dated each other for 3 years and the relationship ended because of my partner's betrayal and cheating. My ex boyfriend was a photographer.I met him in Australia where i lived for several years before i relocated to united state.He told me i am a very pretty and will be a very good model after some months we started dating each other and he put me through a modeling training just for 1 week and that was how my modeling career started.We dated each other for 3 years as well after some time he started enrolling other girls like me into same modeling training and he started ****ing anything under skirt.I have been going through this pains for years but later i had to move on cause the relationship was all about business and i realized he never loved me but was just using me for money.I was badly hurt when this happened so i decided to move on with my life and walk away from him. i hope to hear back from you soon.

FRI 5:28PM
well its sad to hear he cheated on u some people are jerks,i do feel relationships are natural as well,i do think there is someone out there for everyone,i do my best to judge people individually,well its good you moved sometimes the past can hurt but there can also be good times people miss either way sometimes its best to move on to the future forget the bad and remember the good times,just curious do you live in west virginia i really wasnt sure

as far as relationships i have never really been in one before i have imagined what it might be like but never been really sure, the reason i bring this up is because as i have stated before i have aspergers syndrome Its not a bad thing its just a difference, im not trying to put u off , im not trying to detur u,its just something that is their, its a part of me, sometimes we can act different than other people or neurotypical people as a way to put, that one reason i linked u those websites,their fourms and educational websites about aspergers and autism, iam working to become more open in a sense if u have any questions try visiting one of those websites, aspiecentral is a good one if you need more info try posting in the fourms the people on their are very nice and im sure will be very helpful

2:21AM

You are really amazing.Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find out that you're on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts.There are even times when I awaken, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander,they always take me to you. Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you. I hope we can meet up when i get back to United state I am always open for trying new things and meeting new people and I'm happy that our paths have crossed. the seminar would be concluded today so i'll email you my flight itinerary as soon as i get booked, let me know your availability may be you can come pick me up at the airport if you will have the chance and you can even send me your mobile number so that i can text you when i get to the airport...looking forward to conversing in person

9:25AM
cool your pretty amazing your self one problem though i dont drive i want to i intend to evenuallty, my emai is , my phone is ill see what i can do i would like to meet u too

4:03PM

how was your day today. mine was such a terrible one and that was why i couldn't get back to you on time. i couldn't book my flight back home due to no fault of mine. what really happened was when my credit card was accessed by the airline agent here to effect payment to procure my flight it was denied on the account of lack of funds in the card!naturally, i was surprised as i knew that a'int true cos i loaded the card full of money as i knew i was gonna make an oversea travel, so i called the credit card company demanding to know whats up with my money, home only to be told that i made some purchases at ebay. Ebay!certainly not me. i was then told that my credit card has been hacked by unknown thief. i was promised full investigation on the matter and if the company is found to be culpable they will be liable to refund my money. but this can only commence whenever i return back home,also my Bank account has been blocked because it was also been penetrated into but i was promised to be reactivated and refunded 2days after my arrival and get in contact with them. worst case scenario, i am cash trapped at the moment as i have already given the airline agent part of the money for the flight ticket, settled my hotel bills, all these left me depleted. I feel so terrible about all these, i mean, being the first time we met i have to make this request of you. i've got around $850 balance am still going to give the airline agent so as to complete my booking a flight back home. can you please help out here? if only you could raise $1000 for me today and send it to where i am i will be able to get back home by the next flight. fear not, i will refund back every dime once am home and got my credit card reactivated, which wouldn't take more than 2days.i really most get out of here.... am getting to be scared! it ain't everyday one gets to meet some nice guy like you, if you could be able to send down the money, i will forever be indebted to you for life. I am so disappointed in myself right now.I would have bought a return ticket but i think the country Policy does not allow a E-Ticket.I hope to hear from you soon

5:38PM
I m sorry to here that I guess I will see what i can do I not sure were I can get a thousand dollars plus did u mean your bank account will be reactive in 2 days other than that my days was good sorry to hear about your troubles

Chat Conversation End



Type a message...

 

[pineman93]

i had to post them in two parts 10000 character limit

 

[Vanadium50]

if shes not scamming i hope she has friends and family to help her if i knew 100% she wanst i would like to help ouy to if i could

she also said she would pay me back i will also say i found it a bit odd she may really need it but you never know

OF COURSE she says she is paying back -- AND THEN SHE WON"T. Like I said that is EXACTLY what ALL scammers do. I mean think about it: if a scammer were to say they will "not" pay back, will anyone hand them money? No, of course not. So the way scammers trick people to give them money is that they say they will pay it back, but then they will invent new difficulties as reasons why they won't.

You seem to act like her case is so unique, but it isn't; it matches what all scammers do to a T. Here are some red flags:

1. A foreign country is involved somewhere in the story. Thats what scammers often do. Yes they claim to be American, but they also claim to travel abroad. Trick: something will happen with her plane ticket back to US, and she will ask you to send her money to help her fly back (but no thats not what she will use that money for, she will come up with new stories why she couldn't fly back and therefore need yet more money). See how this didn't even happen but I can predict that it will because its all very standard.

2. She professes love way too quickly, before she even had a chance to get to know you. Trick: if she lies that she loves you, you are more likely to send money.

3. She asks money way too fast. Think about it: if she was in real trouble, she would first ask help from her friends or family, or at least people she knew for a while. Why, instead of asking ANY of her friends, she decided to ask complete stranger? Ask yourself that question!

4. She makes a lot of grammar errors, such as "am" instead of "I am", "model by work" instead of "work as a model", "seeking for a relationship" instead of "looking for a relationship", etc. This suggest she is a foreigner (probably nigerian) and her saying she is an American proves that she lies and nothing else she says is true.

5. She said "sorry to hear about your past relationship" right after you told her that you didn't have any relationships. This indicates that she simply cut and pasted the same thing she was sending to other people, which ultimately implies that nothing else she says "to you" has any value as it can also be cut and paste.

Like I said, what is going on is that she contacts 1000-s of people with the same kind of lie. She doesn't have time to get to know each person, so she has to "fall in love" and ask for money quickly in order to weed out most of them who will know that she is a scammer and stick to the few gullible ones. And hten once you send her money there will be more stories as to why she won't be able to pay it back. She will claim to get into some kind of car accident, or whatever. The point is that you will never see either her or that money. All you will hear is more stories for you to send more money.

P.S. As far as her emails go, she sent those same emails to EVERYONE she talks to. She does a lot of cut and pasting in order to deceive.

 

[Tanya]

Women are by far more successful online, because they have options and generally much higher standards than men, but they still have options to choose. Women in real life can have high standards, but the women who use dating sites generally have much higher standards, hence why they are on a dating site. There are of course a lot of women on these that expect a guy to be in the perfect situation in his life, owning a car, working at good $50,000+ career and owning his own house; meanwhile they are still living at home and workign at Starbucks.

I think both men and women set too high standards for what they want in a person. If people didn't set such high standards there wouldn't be so many people living all alone.

 

[pineman93]

a few more thing s my fb says im single maybe she serched that also she has friends on there it may be odd but do you think i should ask them if they know her in person

 

[Vanadium50]

a few more thing s my fb says im single maybe she serched that also she has friends on there it may be odd but do you think i should ask them if they know her in person

Yeah contact her friends and tell us what you heard. But please don't release any personal information in the process because they might well be collaborating with her in the scam you never know. For example, when you gave your phone number it was a BAD idea (in fact, even posting it on public forum like you did is a bad idea -- I suggest you edit the post and delete that number) but sending such information to scammers or their friends is dangerous. Similarly, don't give your full name or any other identifying information. Just ask very general questions, try to be brief, and tell us what you hear from them.

 

[pineman93]

Yeah contact her friends and tell us what you heard. But please don't release any personal information in the process because they might well be collaborating with her in the scam you never know. For example, when you gave your phone number it was a BAD idea (in fact, even posting it on public forum like you did is a bad idea -- I suggest you edit the post and delete that number) but sending such information to scammers or their friends is dangerous. Similarly, don't give your full name or any other identifying information. Just ask very general questions, try to be brief, and tell us what you hear from them.

do you family or friends who could give you the money

do u have a twitter

Do dont mean anything bad by this by are interested in me all of the sudden

3:11AM

Well i have contacted my best Friend lola,she was working in one of the west Africa International Airport,she is ready to help me out with just $600 only because she has just been recovery from a sickness cos she has spent a lot of her sickness the sickness was very severed(Thyhoid)that she nearly lost her live Thank God she is back on a feet,she had been my good friend for a every long time infant she is a friend indeed because of the illness she undergone so she cos not meet up with the money i needed to book my flight home and again you are my last source of hope i count on, i will need 400$ to book me on the next flight back. i can't just wait anymore...Hope to hear Goodnews from you as soon as you get this message

 

[pineman93]

I really know that it's very hard to trust a stranger that you have just met on the net b'cos I too know that there are too much of internet fraudsnowadays. but.I want you to know something that it all depend on heart.Your heart will let you know what to do and what is not needed to be done again.Please i want you to understand that this had happened already and we had to work things together to make it get through.I wanna promise you..I will never let you regret of helping me So I will be glad if you can pls just try to give me a chance for once and you will know that am not ever after your money and am for real and you wouldn't never regret of been help to me out of here...


some else she said