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How do you feel about having kids?

His primary relationship should be with YOU as a human being, Cerulean: not with the potential of the eggs in your ovaries. He is supposed to e YOUR husband. Did he marry YOU as a human being or see you as a walking uterus & a means to the end of satisfying HIS goals? If he's indifferent to your health & well-being now & there are no kids around costing a fortune in cash, time, emotional investment & energy, where will he be then?!? You WILL get tired, get the flu, get drained & all kinds of kiddie ailments will ensue with the kids. I've never met the kid who never got a bad cold or the flu or gastro or a host of other common ailments & as a mother, you will be exhausted. Ask any mother on this forum. As wonderful as kids can be, they are demanding & expensive & a lot of hard work.
 
I don't really want children, it isn't an end goal or serious desire for me, but if it happens, I would love and care for them and probably be a great father. Everyone who actually knows me has commented, in some way, about the fact I would make a great dad. Alas, there is no drive in me to procreate. If I never have children, I don't feel as though my life will be missing anything. I will be a great Uncle, and at some point I would like to be a teacher so I feel as though I can contribute to the lives of MANY young people that way; I don't feel as though I'd be really missing out by the fact they weren't my spawn. If it happens though, I'm also okay with that. I will love them, dote on them, teach, raise, be there for them, and strive to be every bit as great a father as mine has been (and my dad has TRULY been a great, fantastic, wonderful father. I could not have asked for a better one). If I were to/do end up with someone who wants children, I'd personally like to adopt, though. I want to be able to give a child the opportunity I was given by my family adopting me.
 
To respond to you all, I honestly would PREFER adoption, but it's more expensive by about 15k from what my cousin says (she has adopted twice after multiple failures with fertility clinics. She has a boy and a girl and the boy is turning 8 and recently beat cancer for a second time!). I would prefer it because then it wouldn't be my genes (I have my dad's genes and I am so angry about a lot of them. Long story.). lol My fiance and I are very strange and we always joke that "our future children have no hope for a social life" which I hope we're wrong about.

In all honest, my fiance is selfish in this area only. I really hope it can change. I intend to marry him no matter what since we pretty much saved each others lives when we started dating. You can think whatever you wish of him from what I said earlier, but he has helped me mentally mature SO MUCH in the past 6 years. The old me DEFINITELY isn't missed. He's even helped me live with Asperger's better. A lot of my negative traits have vanished (or are much dimmer) and I know how to apply sarcasm in a social setting now! I am so excited! Witty comebacks used to take me DAYS to think up and now they just take seconds because of his tough love and House M.D. combined! You should have seen my posts on Facebook the other day! It was pure ART! LOL!
 
I don't want kids. I do like kids... well at least to play with them and such, but nothing more (I'm an aunt 5 times).
And I'm not fond of kids under the age of 5-6 years old. Plus I can't really take care of myself and I will not risk to spread my genes for autism or mental disorders to others.
That I have suffered (and still do) is enough. No I prefer cats over kids.
 
I really don't want kids - at least for the first nine or ten years. After that, I can at least somewhat relate to them.

It reminds me of an episode of Newhart: Larry, Darryl, and Darryl applied to adopt. The state actually found someone for them - he was about two days from turning 18. That would be perfect for me. :tongue:
 
I love kids. I'm an aunt to 7 already and will have many more since there are 8 kids in my family. Sometimes I wish I had a couple of my own but other times I'm glad I don't. It scares me that I could have a child on the spectrum since I think I would find it overwhelming and hard to deal with. I'm not in a relationship though and have a hard time with them so I don't know if I'll ever have kids. I'm already almost 36 as well so my clock is ticking.
 
I take care of children & babies by profession.. I relate so badly to people my age, and never fit in. So much rejection, people are so mean and judgemental. But the babies and children I took care of, were not like that. They don't judge. They just loved me. Even though I didn't do anything special, they wanted to love me.

I would like my own kids, but am not so great with men, don't even like most men. (used to think I was gay, til I realized it was an emotional thing, not a sexual thing.) So my best hope would be to make lots of money, and then adopt.
 
I have two daughters. 17 and 15.
From a selfish point of view, they've devoured vast amounts of money and time and energy and emotions. All the stuff that people who don't want kids say.

But, they have given me a LIFE. Made my world much deeper and important and wonderful, and I have no regrets (except perhaps not having a third kid).
It is good to live a life that contains people who you love so much that you would die for them.
 
I have 2 in highschool. They are, as I put it, my apology to the world. I am extremely proud of them and they are some of my favorite people on Earth. They may be the only worthwhile thing I've done in my life, when all's said and done. They are both free of the *taint* (AS), and this, and how well their lives are going compared to mine at their ages, brings me deep joy. The fact that their futures hold so much more potential than my life ever did is a wonder to me. At this point, I'm considering my life, except for them, a write-off.
 
I definitely do not want kids. I don't have the patience for them and I'm too selfish to be as involved as I feel a parent should be. I didn't have very good parental role models so I don't know that I would know how to be a good parent anyway. I have felt adamantly against the idea since I was 18 and I still feel that way, even more so now.
 
I loved having my two children. It was wonderful to live with them, thinking of them as equal humans (them and me as equals) who were new. Wonderful translating what they saw into words when they were babies/teaching them to speak/them learning to speak.
 
I want kids in the future, whenever that will be I don't know. I'll just wait until the moment the right sperm reaches my egg. I have the strong natural urge most women get and I have never really give it much analysis, I get broody I remedy it.
I would wait until I was in a good enough relationship to do any serious planning though.
 
Well, I honestly never considered having kids. I never understood why would people want to have kids, it's a thing I just don't understand. Having the necessity of creating another human being to take care of may sound even like sick obsession to me, but if people like it, it's for some reason so, their life, my life.
 
I know I would make a better father than 99% of the sperm donors out there, but at this point in my life I cannot see myself having a kid. I sort of feel too old anyway.
 
Having a baby is the easy part: being a parent is the hard part. Since I have 2 grown kids, I've lived the challenges & rewards myself. For those who have doubts, you are right to NOT have kids. This is not one of those decisions you can fudge your way through or coax yourself into. If you have thought about it & really think it is right for you & you are in a good position/mental & emotional position to raise a child then knock yourself out!

I remember the last week of my pregnancy with my 1st child. Having worked with kids of varying ages, I had a pretty good idea of what I was in for. I distinctly remember thinking that these would be the last days in which I would be relatively free to do what I wanted to when I wanted to do it. Everything from when you shower to when you eat & sleep is controlled by the needs & rhythms of the baby. Simple things like answering the phone or having to run errands get complicated beyond belief by the presence of a baby in your life. If you are one of those sociable Aspies who does sports, or participates in other events, you will likely have to kiss all that goodbye. It isn't all gloom & doom, but it is exhausting & expensive. Definitely not a decision to make spontaneously, without a lot of planning & foresight & a cool assessment of your financial/time/emotional resources: you do NOT want to slip up with the birth control, find yourself pregnant (or with a pregnant girlfriend) & have to scramble!
 
I don't really want children. I enjoy my little 2 1/2 year old nephew in small doses, but I can't imagine taking care of him full-time. If he's the closest thing I ever have to a son, I'm ok with that.
 
I love kids, they laugh at my jokes and find my bit of oddity funny. Personally I come from a large extended family, my Dad was one of 6 but I only have one brother, who I love and am very close to. I love the big family aspect, and if I can have that in life I would be a happy man. As far as how do I feel thinking that this could be passed onto them. Well I see it in a similar vein to slavery (not that I am at all comparing the two) but despite the horrible conditions they lived in, the people treated like cattle continued to marry and have children. This seems almost unthinkable, how could they have children knowing the life they would have? But its because they had hope in something more, not for themselves but for their children. I may always be awkward or goofy, and my children may be "blessed" with the same condition in life, but I still have hopes for them.
 
For much of my life I didn't really think about whether or not I wanted kids. It was more like a given that at 25 I'd be married and starting a family because that's what people did. But the thing is, I have never felt maternal and don't know how to relate to kids, despite being a big kid myself. I smile at the little girls who blurt out comments about my colorful hair and love buying toys for kids, but the reality is that I probably won't have any of my own. It's still up in the air because things can change in a matter of years. I could meet someone who inspires me to start a family with him... or maybe something will accidentally happen and I'll love that little accident! But I do struggle to take care of myself. I'm often overwhelmed by what's currently on my plate. I require a lot of private me time and silence. Just thinking about parenting makes me want to have a meltdown. So now that I've gotten older and social norms have loosened slightly, I feel like it's ok to admit that I might not ever be a parent and there's nothing terrible about that. I'm sure that some others find it very rewarding though and props to you for surviving parenthood!
 
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