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How to reconcile male and female perspective on creepiness

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Shevek said:
I think that the essence of creepy is looking at people as possible sexual partners based only on appearance
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I really want to post a rolling eyes gif, of some kind, strong urge, right now....

Do you know how many women do this? Millions...and millions, and millions.

I think most people do this.
 
Prometheus said:
I really want to post a rolling eyes gif, of some kind, strong urge, right now....
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Thank you for abstaining. Here’s one gold star. More to follow and I’ll even throw in a snickers bar.

1678880384631.jpeg
 
Polchinski said:
So do men who look ugly tend to behave in more creepy way? If so, why?
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Amazing new discovery! Some ugly men are creepy. Some beautiful men are creepy. Some ugly men are wonderful human beings. Some beautiful men are wonderful human beings.

Why are you trying to force enormous generalizations about this?
 
Polchinski said:
@Judge I just looked up "conditional reasoning" Conditional reasoning | psychology and it explained that its when I explicitly say words "if" and "then". They gave an example of a conditional statement being "if today is Monday I will attend cooking class" and non-conditional is "today is Monday, I will attend cooking class".

So its the opposite to what I thought. I thought conditional is when they make assumptions but actually its when they avoid making assumptions since they make if/then explicit. Everyone ELSE makes assumption by simply assuming its Monday instead of saying "if its Monday".

Now this being the case, this is actually one of the main things that frustrates me with others: I am upset they make assumptions. In other words, I would have preferred if they were using conditional reasoning, and I get upset with them that they don't.

Yet you are saying their preference is the opposite. Apart from avoiding conditional reasoning (thus making assumptions) themselves, they also want me to make assumptions too? If so, why?
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You also continue to attempt to twist things people explain to you to your own liking along with circular arguments. A hallmark of trolling that doesn't work, and it's getting boring to some of us.

Making some of us highly suspicious as to what your motives really are in this forum.
 
Judge said:
You also continue to attempt to twist things people explain to you to your own liking along with circular arguments. A hallmark of trolling that doesn't work, and it's getting boring to some of us.

Making some of us highly suspicious as to what your motives really are in this forum.
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I am not trolling. Here are the motives of my participating in this forum

1) To make friends with other aspies

2) To get answers to my questions

Well, I guess "1" has been compromised because I made an impression as a troll while I was doing "2".

As far as "2", I wasn't trolling there either. Case in point: I was googling the things about creepiness before asking. Similarly, I was googling most of the stuff I asked about in other threads. But what I found is that google search results were telling me the way things are, but they were not telling me WHY they are the way they are. Hence, me making those posts asking the "why" part.

Now, part of the reason I come across as a troll is probably because I keep asking those questions in unusual way. But here is why I do it. As far as "usual" way of asking them, I don't have to ask: I can just look it on google. But the whole point is that I don't get satisfied from google because they repeatedly talk about some aspects of it and never talk about the other ones. Hence my asking questions about the aspects nobody talks about, and this makes me look like a troll. But I am not: I am actually trying to understand.
 
Judge said:
Really?????? You have a peculiar way of going about it. :rolleyes:
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As I said two lines later "I compromise 1 because of 2".

So the goal of this, and many other, threads is "2". The goal of why I joined this forum is "1". So when I started posting I compromised the purpose of why I joined this place. But thats because I have two separate needs that are both valid. Yet in practice trying to get one satisfied compromises the other.
 
I'm reading "Unmasking Autism". Chapter 6:

"In a landmark study into the psychology of perceived "creepiness", psychologists McAndrew and Koehnke (2016) asked 1341 respondents to answer questions about which personal qualities and behaviours they associated with "creepy" people, and used statistical factor analysis to develop a measurable "creepiness" factor. The creepiness factor they developed included the following traits: a person having awkward, unpredictable behaviour, an unnatural-looking smile, laughter that occurs at "unnatural" times, speaking for too long about a single topic, and not knowing when to end a conversation."
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
I don't see why this is a conversation that's lasted 8 pages.

Creepy people are predatory or have an air of ill intent. Plain and simple. No one likes that. Avoid them. Protect your loved ones from such types.

The end.
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If someone actually has bad intent, then yes, do like you just said. But what if someone doesn't have a bad intent yet gets misperceived like they do? Thats what I am discussing in this thread.
 
Next time you have a conversation with a close friend or what not...and they ask "what are you looking for in a partner?" You say someone so creepy and atypical, they make me feel welcome because they stare at me from a distance with no expression on their face, they are very blunt and cold hearted, they compliment my supple elbow skin, give me foot rubs and of course don't know what personal space is and stand too close. You know just basic attributes most would want.

I think we all need to redefine creepy as a abnormal/atypical person we have yet to come across in life that shatters our generalized preconceived notions of how a person typically responds/behaves. There is a cognitive bias that comes into play that another individual is acting a way I haven't seen or can make sense of. One is a red flag another is your ignorance being dissipated. Then in one way or another that individual is a net positive for those that lack exposure to that individual. Hence the only way to learn is to be exposed to different information or individuals to supersede and redefine our own logical framework and wisdom.

I mean isnt the whole premise of social media is to define and explore what makes us all different? Those that have a different brain wiring or a personality disorder in most context is seen as a negative (those that are ignorant.) Then again people are enthusiastic about learning about others that are seen as "creepy" "weird" or some other nuance that makes them a rare commodity. The whole premise is almost counterintuitive.

Somebody calls me creepy or weird... I say thank you... my authenticity of my individualism is so rewarding given this grand compliment.
 
Polchinski said:
If someone actually has bad intent, then yes, do like you just said. But what if someone doesn't have a bad intent yet gets misperceived like they do? Thats what I am discussing in this thread.
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You can't control how people may perceive you in real-time. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter how unfair it may be.

And in our society in particular, "perception is reality".

Something hammered into some of us by corporate sources. Effectively making your argument pointless. It's not a pleasant social dynamic, but it's not going away anytime soon either. No matter how much you internalize it.
 
tazz said:
I'm reading "Unmasking Autism". Chapter 6:

"In a landmark study into the psychology of perceived "creepiness", psychologists McAndrew and Koehnke (2016) asked 1341 respondents to answer questions about which personal qualities and behaviours they associated with "creepy" people, and used statistical factor analysis to develop a measurable "creepiness" factor. The creepiness factor they developed included the following traits: a person having awkward, unpredictable behaviour, an unnatural-looking smile, laughter that occurs at "unnatural" times, speaking for too long about a single topic, and not knowing when to end a conversation."
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The "Uncanny Valley" issue which can be applied to autistic people and how they're perceived by NTs is similarly related to the quote you posted. NTs often view autistic people who have the traits that your quote details as "creepy", unsettling, etc.

"Uncanny Valley" a term originally coined by a Japanese researcher I believe related to robotics if I recall correctly. The more realistic and closer to human a robot becomes, the creepier it is to most people. It looks human, it acts human, but...it's not, so it's creepy and unsettling. This same uncanny valley phenomenon has been applied to autistic people who obviously are human and act human but...don't act NT (ie like most people). There are things that are "off" (ie atypical behavior) so others can find it unsettling and "creepy" because they don't know exactly why the person isn't acting as one would expect.
 
Magna said:
The "Uncanny Valley" issue which can be applied to autistic people and how they're perceived by NTs is similarly related to the quote you posted. NTs often view autistic people who have the traits that your quote details as "creepy", unsettling, etc.

"Uncanny Valley" a term originally coined by a Japanese researcher I believe related to robotics if I recall correctly. The more realistic and closer to human a robot becomes, the creepier it is to most people. It looks human, it acts human, but...it's not, so it's creepy and unsettling. This same uncanny valley phenomenon has been applied to autistic people who obviously are human and act human but...don't act NT (ie like most people). There are things that are "off" (ie atypical behavior) so others can find it unsettling and "creepy" because they don't know exactly why the person isn't acting as one would expect.
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It continues: "A series of experiments by social psychologists Leander, Chartrand and Bargh (2012) found that when a person engages in social mirroring in an even slightly inappropriate way, it skeeves people out, and even makes them feel physically colder. ... if you mirror someone too much or at the wrong time, these studies show you can literally give people the chills. Autistic maskers try really hard to mirror other people, but since we can't do it as fluently and effortlessly as neurotypicals do, we often unwittingly set off NT's creep-dars."
 
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