I really like how you have kept responding quite a lot to posts on this thread,
@Markness, because you often don't do that and it seems great progress to me. You are connecting with people by responding, you are finding out more about them, like when you had thought
@Owliet agreed with a couple of people who just didn't get you.
But she didn't, and you responded to her, that's it in a nutshell, to progress with anyone as a friend or eventually a partner, you have to find a way of connecting, say what you think they meant like you did there, check it out, for example, but more generally just keep on returning the ball as it were, comparing this to tennis! It's part of our autism that we don't find this easy or just forget to do it in my case oops.
You won't be likely to find life the same as your 4 siblings, if they are neurotypical people. You are different, so you need some different ways to meet people. I really don't think many of us would get into a relationship without some kind of structure to help us keep seeing the same group of people, like a writing group or a class of interest to us. I never would have met any partners without this.
Then if you enjoy the class or event or writing feedback is useful, just keep on going, be one of the group that people get used to seeing. Maybe they like your writing, or think your jokes are fun, or like your kind way of asking how they are doing and offering them toffees or mints or any sweeties really! Just become a fixture. I can't tell you how many great people I met in this way, unusual maybe, or odd or shy, which I am too, I was glad to see them, and if you can just attend and enjoy something, people will be glad to see you. Some will even take trouble to greet you, or will be eager to hear your ideas on something.
We are different, but in many good ways too. You do need more social support, which most like us get this kind of way, like others here have said. It is pretty hard, I agree, compared to NTs easy socialising with pubs and parties, but there's often not enough depth to those venues or events for us. I used to sit at a table in nightclubs if my then group of friends or acquaintances wanted to dance til whenever.
Obviously I usually didn't go, but it really liked some of them, so I tried to show willing. So boring! But there was often one other person who didn't want to dance or indeed be there. We could moan together or even plot to get the rest to leave earlier than planned...Sometimes I did like the venue, especially with a friend who did rak sharki it's a kind of belly dancing. I didn't dance but it was colorful and the music was good too, often live. I have tried Five rhythms dance tho, that's quite therapeutically interesting. Maybe look it up, you might like it.
Hope you keep on trying out places and finding events or ongoing groups ideally you can be a loose member of. Most of us make some connections that way over time. It's great you are already responding more! I'm impressed.
