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I can’t stop ruminating.

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Mary Terry said:
I've never looked at WP but have read many negative comments about it from members here, like you and others. It must be a toxic place.
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It really is, although I joined there in 2010 and never ran into any toxicity (even though it was toxic back then apparently). It wasn't until this clique formed, who got offended by everything and constantly gaslighted and lectured me and others to the point where we would snap then get unfairly banned and shamed, was when it became toxic beyond the PPR. The toxicity ran into the haven, so it didn't even feel like a safe place any more. They teamed up in 2022. So for about 11-12 years I was a respected member there, until they got together.
The clique gang are liars and manipulators, and they deny they're in a clique. One of them liked to confuse people with her gender then flare up and get angry whenever someone misgendered her.
There's none of that here. People here form friendships, yes, but no catty cliqueness.

I don't even care if they see this, which they most likely won't, but after all the shaming they did about me and other nice people, I think they (WP clique) deserve to be shamed.
 
Misty Avich said:
It really is, although I joined there in 2010 and never ran into any toxicity (even though it was toxic back then apparently). It wasn't until this clique formed, who got offended by everything and constantly gaslighted and lectured me and others to the point where we would snap then get unfairly banned and shamed, was when it became toxic beyond the PPR. The toxicity ran into the haven, so it didn't even feel like a safe place any more. They teamed up in 2022. So for about 11-12 years I was a respected member there, until they got together.
The clique gang are liars and manipulators, and they deny they're in a clique. One of them liked to confuse people with her gender then flare up and get angry whenever someone misgendered her.
There's none of that here. People here form friendships, yes, but no catty cliqueness.

I don't even care if they see this, which they most likely won't, but after all the shaming they did about me and other nice people, I think they (WP clique) deserve to be shamed.
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I originally joined in 2006 and it was indeed toxic even back then. It's a case of things going from bad to worse.
I had others get angry at me for wanting a girlfriend because I apparently wasn't "seeing the bigger picture" but they would never explain to me what the "big picture" was. It was very frustrating.

I am with you. I don't ever want them to succeed in making me hang my head in shame like they wanted me to do.
 
Markness said:
I originally joined in 2006 and it was indeed toxic even back then. It's a case of things going from bad to worse.
I had others get angry at me for wanting a girlfriend because I apparently wasn't "seeing the bigger picture" but they would never explain to me what the "big picture" was. It was very frustrating.

I am with you. I don't ever want them to succeed in making me hang my head in shame like they wanted me to do.
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Yes, I understand. That's what they want, us to hang our heads in shame.
 
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Markness said:
I originally joined in 2006 and it was indeed toxic even back then. It's a case of things going from bad to worse.
I had others get angry at me for wanting a girlfriend because I apparently wasn't "seeing the bigger picture" but they would never explain to me what the "big picture" was. It was very frustrating.
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I looked at that website and found the closed account of a person with similar problems as yours.

It seems that people there became exasperated with that person for:
• posting multiple threads on the same topic
• derailing unrelated threads to complain about his personal problems
• blaming all his problems on his 'detractors': his family, his co-workers, coupled strangers, and the general public
• refusing to consider that his problems may have been self-generated
• agreeing to leave certain other members alone and then denying that those agreements were made
• making up excuses to not even attempt any suggested action that might improve his situation
• stating that he was quitting the website for good only so he would receive replies telling him to stay

He was finally banned a couple of years ago for arguing with the moderators over his behavior.
 
tree said:
You are very attached to the stories you tell yourself.


You could tell your therapist. Again.
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@Markness , if your therapist cannot help you rewrite your internal dialogue, why even go to therapy? Plus, have you started living independently? At your age, women are going to notice concrete material benefits that you bring to a relationship. You have work to do. You can either whine, or you can do. Which is it?
 
Markness said:
I literally can’t stop ruminating every day of my life. Even when I wake up in the morning or while I am driving the car, I have streams of negative memories coursing through my mind. Listening to music doesn’t make the thoughts go away nor does anything else other people do to occupy their minds work for me either. All the years of being bullied, rejected, and denied have probably damaged my psyche beyond repair.
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Perhaps you have clinical depression, it's not a cognitive issue and you should handle it differrntly. Depression certainly looked like that for me. Not being able to bounce back or distract from negative feelings.
 
Markness said:
They also would probably celebrate if they found out something bad happened to me, especially when I almost died a few times back in 2021.
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Just so you know, I did a quick search on that other website. No one has even mentioned a name like yours in nearly 3 years. So it looks like you can stop worrying about what they think, because they have simply forgotten all about you.
 
vergil96 said:
Perhaps you have clinical depression, it's not a cognitive issue and you should handle it differrntly. Depression certainly looked like that for me. Not being able to bounce back or distract from negative feelings.
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I don’t doubt I have clinical depression. I’ve struggled with it since 2006.
 
Markness said:
I don’t doubt I have clinical depression. I’ve struggled with it since 2006.
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You're diagnosed with depression, aren't you?

When was your most recent medication review?

What kind of nutritional adjustments have you made since
starting ozempic?
 
Or, like, a non cognitive approach at least. Clinical depression is organic. A lot of lifestyle measures help with it, like diet, sleep, exercise. It's not a cognitive problem. It's an organic problem with cognitive effects.
 
tree said:
You're diagnosed with depression, aren't you?

When was your most recent medication review?

What kind of nutritional adjustments have you made since
starting ozempic?
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Yes, I am.

Maybe a year ago.

Just eating less overall.
 
Markness said:
I think even the few people who were still supportive of me until 2022 wish me the worst now.
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Yes, you tend to tell yourself that if a person who has
previously commented on your posts doesn't continue to reply
to each post you make that they are probably harboring
harmful thoughts toward you.
 
I was bullied and beaten for most of my childhood, yet I have developed no sense of perpetual "Stranger-Danger", just a general belief that people must prove their good will toward me before I will fully trust them. If they don't, then the hell with them -- they get ghosted.
 
Cryptid said:
I was bullied and beaten for most of my childhood, yet I have developed no sense of perpetual "Stranger-Danger", just a general belief that people must prove their good will toward me before I will fully trust them. If they don't, then the hell with them -- they get ghosted.
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I guess we all react to bullying in different ways.
 
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