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I Remembered Why I Don’t Tell People I’m Autistic…

I still don't understand why ocd was never tested for me by the phycologist.
 
I don't know if I have OCD or if it's just ADHD and anxiety disorder combined.
 
I told a few people, like doctors and some friends and family members.
Curiously, my friends weren't really surprised. My family members are a bit on the wall about it.

But I won't hide it.
I finally have a reason for my weirdness, my feelings of not belonging. I don't expect to be well accepted or believed, it's their problem if they want to think ill of me, not mine.
I'll tell those who should know. How they accept it it's up to them.

I'm autistic! Deal with it or get lost!
 
In addition to the issue with excessive washing when exposed to certain types of bacteria, I often feel the need to count to a certain number on repeat while waiting. I feel the need to check locks at least twice. While generally my room is not very neat, if something is mostly organized, it bothers me if one or two items are not aligned "correctly. " Things like dinner plates are supposed to sit in a certain order and be filled in a certain order. These are all reasons why I think that I probably have ocd but if I mention it the professionals just give me this look and it goes nowhere. They don't know about most of this, but they never seem to want to discuss the idea for it to be convenient to mention. They are aware of the germ part and the fact that I felt the need to wash my hands 7 times in a row if I touched certain things. I have actually improved there by the way. Now I usually only wash them 4 times.
 
I feel the need to check locks at least twice. While generally my room is not very neat, if something is mostly organized, it bothers me if one or two items are not aligned "correctly. " Things like dinner plates are supposed to sit in a certain order and be filled in a certain order.
I check to see if the doors are locked, to see if my keys are where they should be, to see if things are properly plugged in, etc. etc. etc. 🙈

If I'm having to wait somewhere, I'll find anything that forms "sets" of 3x3. It has to be 3x3. Other sets don't work, aren't right 🙈
 
I check to see if the doors are locked, to see if my keys are where they should be, to see if things are properly plugged in, etc. etc. etc. 🙈
So do I; it's normal, intelligent behavior! I'm kidding - we know that you mean that it's done obsessively, more times than necessary. Probably relating to (undiagnosed) ADHD, I do the opposite - not checking the required boxes and forgetting things.
 
So do I; it's normal, intelligent behavior! I'm kidding - we know that you mean that it's done obsessively, more times than necessary. Probably relating to (undiagnosed) ADHD, I do the opposite - not checking the required boxes and forgetting things.
Funnily enough, I do both 🙈
I check and recheck things, and still managed to get locked out of my house on more than one occasion 😅
 
Reading this, I thought "Cerebral Palsy is associated in my mind with lower intelligence. Am I just uneducated?" Looking it up, I find that 30%-50% of people with CP also have an intellectual disability.
That's exactly it. CP is a spectrum that's broad, like autism, but the presentation leads people to assume it's more like 100% where it's visible (many CP cases are mild enough to not be noticeable).
 
In addition to the issue with excessive washing when exposed to certain types of bacteria, I often feel the need to count to a certain number on repeat while waiting. I feel the need to check locks at least twice. While generally my room is not very neat, if something is mostly organized, it bothers me if one or two items are not aligned "correctly. "

I often find myself checking the front door lock at least four times before going to bed. And when it comes to home decor, everything has to be positioned properly and symmetrically. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Though with my allergies in the desert, I am compelled to keep my home relatively clean and definitely must dust quite often. I don't enjoy housework in general, but am compelled to do so.

Can't say I'm a bona fide "germaphobe" though, as I spent three years in a relationship with a girlfriend with a young daughter (4 to 7). Kids can be uh....quite messy to say the least. Not a good idea to consider parenting under such circumstances!
 
I often find myself checking the front door lock at least four times before going to bed. And when it comes to home decor, everything has to be positioned properly and symmetrically. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Though with my allergies in the desert, I am compelled to keep my home relatively clean and definitely must dust quite often. I don't enjoy housework in general, but am compelled to do so.

Can't say I'm a bona fide "germaphobe" though, as I spent three years in a relationship with a girlfriend with a young daughter (4 to 7). Kids can be uh....quite messy to say the least. Not a good idea to consider parenting under such circumstances!

I have pets and overall it goes fine, but the cat has a hairball for example and it is internal panic time.😅
 
I have pets and overall it goes fine, but the cat has a hairball for example and it is internal panic time.😅
Not quite the same as children, but I'll spare you the details...lol. ;)

Though at times I wasn't thrilled with having to clean up my beloved Yorkie either. Oh well....
 
Gather around, it’s time for a story with Milly (I can already hear the collective groans from the audience.)

So, last weekend, I attended a Renaissance Festival, as I always do this time of year. I decided to get a Tarot reading. To be clear, I’m a staunch atheist, but have always been interested in the world of fortune-telling and psychics. So, having a reading done in person was something that’s been on my bucket list.

I sat down one-on-one with the tarot reader, and she had me introduce myself. She was an older lady who fit the bill of an old-time psychic reader. About five minutes in, she asked me what my occupation was. I was honest with her, and said that while I don’t have a position currently, I just enrolled in a job placement program for autistic people. I thought that if was going to get the most “accurate” reading, I should tell the truth, right? I guess she should’ve been able to guess that, you know, because she can see the future or whatever. But I digress.

She paused for a moment, looked at me, and said, “So, you’re a person with autism?” I tried not to grit my teeth at the person-first language, as most people that use it don’t know that most people prefer just being called “autistic”. But, throughout the rest of the reading, the vibe was… different. I felt like I had made things awkward.

After the reading was over, I remembered why I don’t tell people I’m autistic; because, 1. It makes people uncomfortable, 2. They don’t believe me, or 3. They think differently of me.

I now open the floor to you. Do you usually tell people that you’re autistic, or do you keep it hidden? Some people cannot hide their autism. But for people like me, who mask, it can be a surprise when folks learn the truth.
Need to know only. Most people don't need to know.
 
Being a 'fortune teller' whatever, you'd think she should have known there was something different about you, at least. I certainly wouldn't worry about what she thought. Being young and good at masking, I agree with Judge that you might keep it on a need to know basis.
My age and situation, I don't care what people know about me. if they know me they know me. If they don't they never will.
 

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