I see a trend- NTs and non NTs

[Mary Terry]

I don't think it is feasible,or what purpose it would serve.

Can you outline a reason why you think it is necessary?[/QUOT

Well, it is not necessary, of course. However, this entire thread is supposed to be about the frequency of NT women seeking relationship advice here as opposed to the frequency of ASD men seeking such advice, and then "explaining" any disparity between those frequencies. We don't really know if there is such a disparity or whether there is merely a false perception of such disparity. Hence, running a query to identify and count the number and neurological status of all such posters would tell us those frequencies. The reasons for any such disparities can be the subject of endless speculation and debate.

 

[Nitro]

If this is important enough for you to want it,then by all means,spend hour upon hour trying to compile this information so you can share it with us.

There is no automated method of extracting the info you seek,it will be good old fashioned research and compiling the information. In the end,I see it serving no purpose in a study without a bigger pool to draw info from.

I honestly think it is a huge waste of time to cull the entire forum for what little information it will offer when the research is completed.

Once again,if you feel that it will add to this thread,do share your findings with the group,but don't expect others to jump on a task that borders on insanity because there isn't a one click solution

 

[Full Steam]

I know how to do that, and I can offer my services.

I'd estimate 40 hours give or take, and I can do you the special rate of $99USD per hour.

This is a time limited offering you have until this thread is locked to accept it.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I know how to do that, and I can offer my services.

I'd estimate 40 hours give or take, and I can do you the special rate of $99USD per hour.

This is a time limited offering you have until this thread is locked to accept it.

I accept but i can only pay you in ideas.

FMM ideas to USD currency rate is going at about 1 idea per $40,000
If you do the task much quicker than expected I will still round up,your fee to one idea.

That gives you the opportunity to get one idea at a cut price rate.

I already know what the first idea is. So I know it has guaranteed value.

 

[Mary Terry]

If this is important enough for you to want it,then by all means,spend hour upon hour trying to compile this information so you can share it with us.

There is no automated method of extracting the info you seek,it will be good old fashioned research and compiling the information. In the end,I see it serving no purpose in a study without a bigger pool to draw info from.

I honestly think it is a huge waste of time to cull the entire forum for what little information it will offer when the research is completed.

Once again,if you feel that it will add to this thread,do share your findings with the group,but don't expect others to jump on a task that borders on insanity because there isn't a one click solution

I absolutely agree with you, and I was being facetious when I suggested such research be undertaken. Why is it important to anyone, including the OP, whether NTs come to this site for relationship advice? If there is resentment against NTs who do that, then is there also resentment against NT parents who seek advice about their ASD children here? I guess that is really my interest in this thread. Does that resentment exist and how far does it extend?

 

[Full Steam]

I accept but i can only pay you in ideas.

FMM ideas to USD currency rate is going at about 1 idea per $40,000
If you do the task much quicker than expected I will still round up,your fee to one idea.

That gives you the opportunity to get one idea at a cut price rate.

I already know what the first idea is. So I know it has guaranteed value.

Slightly concerned about this deal as I suspect /know with absolute conviction that you have zero interest in the deliverable

Which leads me to believe you are likely to be acting as a pointless data broker.

Actually that's a great job title.

I'll do it for a bushell and two goats.

 

[Full Steam]

I absolutely agree with you, and I was being facetious when I suggested such research be undertaken. Why is it important to anyone, including the OP, whether NTs come to this site for relationship advice? If there is resentment against NTs who do that, then is there also resentment against NT parents who seek advice about their ASD children here? I guess that is really my interest in this thread. Does that resentment exist and how far does it extend?

Rest you must take.
Old it is getting.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Rest you must take.
Old it is getting.

I was hoping to deliver the idea after you'd done the work.

My first idea,as a taster, for free, is :

Don't bother.

 

[Full Steam]

I was hoping to deliver the idea after you'd done the work.

My first idea,as a taster, for free, is :

Don't bother.

Your a bad man.

 

[Nitro]

If there is resentment against NTs who do that, then is there also resentment against NT parents who seek advice about their ASD children here? I guess that is really my interest in this thread. Does that resentment exist and how far does it extend?

Then start your own thread addressing this concern and add a poll if this will satisfy your need.

 

[Bolletje]

Is it romantic? Not really. But it shows he cares & want to protect me (and possibly clog my arteries).

Aah, the fine art of courtship, clogging the arteries of your object of affection... Now that's romance! But seriously. The little things you describe, that's what spells romance to me. I don't need flowers or gifts or grand gestures. If my boyfriend would pull out all the stops, Hollywood style, I would very likely panic and hide. Or stab him.

 

[spaceman]

Rest you must take.
Old it is getting.

Wise you are.

 

[Katleya]

I know how to do that, and I can offer my services.

I'd estimate 40 hours give or take, and I can do you the special rate of $99USD per hour.

This is a time limited offering you have until this thread is locked to accept it.

I accept but i can only pay you in ideas.

FMM ideas to USD currency rate is going at about 1 idea per $40,000
If you do the task much quicker than expected I will still round up,your fee to one idea.

That gives you the opportunity to get one idea at a cut price rate.

I already know what the first idea is. So I know it has guaranteed value.

This is absolutely off topic, but I love it so much when I come across such exchanges.

Now, about the pointless data brokers: I want to make a résumé out of that.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

This is absolutely off topic, but I love it so much when I come across such exchanges.

Now, about the pointless data brokers: I want to make a résumé out of that.

I love it too and I was in at the ground floor.

I try not to overdo it though!

 

[Full Steam]

This is absolutely off topic, but I love it so much when I come across such exchanges.

Now, about the pointless data brokers: I want to make a résumé out of that.

Pouring sarcasm on troubled waters is my speciality.

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Pouring sarcasm on troubled waters is my speciality.

What could possibly go wrong?

I have an idea about that.

But this one will cost.

 

[Katleya]

Pouring sarcasm on troubled waters is my speciality.

What could possibly go wrong?

It all depends on the acidity, Full Steam

 

[Full Steam]

It all depends on the acidity, Full Steam

Yeah, mines only weakly acidic.

Like a coke.

It might dissolve a tooth but you'd have to immerse it for days, and who's going to do that?

Weak acid sarcasm + low contact time = no harm done.

Welcome to the ground floor.

 

[Ambi]

Flygirl and Oarina nailed it, and I thank them to presenting a view more balanced than those offered by individuals who seemingly spend all their time and energy posting criticisms and complaints about NTs. The world is indeed a two way street when it comes to relationships between NTs and NDs.

I haven't really met anyone here who spends all their time and energy posting criticisms and complaints about NTs.

 

[Ambi]

I found the detailed replies to my post, not only insightful and eye opening, but gave me a deeper understanding of how HIS brain functioned, so I could then adapt mine, as knew it was always going to have to be mine that altered.

If my NT husband were to come here to ask the ASD women something in order to try to understand MY brain better, all he would come away with would be a false illusion as to how I am "really" working inside. At minimum, please just confirm with your significant other to see if it does match up to his experience. It's not that there aren't shared experiences, there really are - but there are also a lot of differences in experience.

There is a book I read that explained this really well (at least it's the perception that of that ASD author) - NTs tend to have a filter through which they view the world and people and social situations. They perceive people through those filters. It helps them make sense of things. By seeking data here about your ASD partner, you are in effect creating another filter to attempt to fit him through/understand him. Maybe NTs must do this, maybe it is the only way they can interact with their significant other. I feel like I have to zip on a human suit before I can interact with people, like a scuba diver among fish, so maybe the NT equivalent is the filter. Then again, let's take this example of generalizations: I'm sure there are NTs who wouldn't relate to the filter idea, and I'm sure their are ASD folks who may not relate to the scuba-diving among fish idea. So the trends are useful in understanding populations, but when trying to understand a specific individual, that data may not prove accurate or useful.. Yes, I think maybe it is my anal sensibilities about data and specificity that make it hard for me to ignore that possibility for inaccuracy.

Btw, the people I really get annoyed about are the ones asking about their ex-boyfriends who don't have a diagnosis - they are just grasping at straws. I think people who are in actual present-day relationships with people who are actually on the spectrum (whether officially diagnosed or self-diagnosed) can actually get useful info here. I do think there are different kinds of things to seek out, too. Like, if you are trying to understand sensory overload, basic stuff like that - yes, you can see helpful replies, and see if anything seems to match up with what you observe in your significant other. There are a bunch of books I've read and videos I've watched by others with ASD that helped me understand myself - but I myself was there to confirm it, of course. My husband wouldn't have had as much luck figuring out what applied and what didn't - he would have had to ask me.

BUT.....the whole "my boyfriend left me and I don't know why? What should I do? How can I win him back?" is what really annoys me, because we aren't some kind of bank vault with some specific code to unlock - that situation is very individual, and may have nothing to do with his ASD (if he even has it). It's not like "do this and this and that, and win back your Aspie lover!". It's just so wrong-headed to begin with. You can't even do that with your pets, even animals are more individual than that. I have at least as much personality and individuality as my pets That is what is being ignored by those posts...