If someone is rude to the waitress on a date

[Ella Spell]

So how does it work? Is it

a) You play with them in public, but playing looks less weird to others than the other things that would happen if you didn't

or

b) You play with them in private, but playing with them have after-effect that lasts for some length of time. So, as long as you go to your room "periodically" to play with them, you don't have to play with them in public

or

c) Something else. Please explain.

I don't do a lot of stim toys in public, but a few. I'm famous for chewing on things like pens. Give me a pen and it's chewed to smithereens and shreds within about an hour. That's a stim for me even though pens aren't usually considered to be toys. I can stim with my hair, the hem of my shirt, or by clapping and spinning. Those aren't all toys but I do keep a toy kit with me, including Play-Doh that I can smell or touch, a Wilbarger brush for my skin, skin cream (it's stimmy to apply), etc. Just knowing they're in my bag / car helps a lot. I can sneak off and use them in privacy at gatherings. They also help to train my limbic system to relax.

Are there non-expensive ways to get those types of help? I just don't have a lot of money.

I don't know where you live but it's never inexpensive. My OT cost $150 / 45 minutes and I needed hundreds of hours in 2020 alone. We did most sessions online because of Covid. If you have any medical / health insurance they might cover assistive devices liken noise-cancelling headphones.

Are you still on a wheelchair?

I was never on a wheelchair but I had a rollator walker (the type with wheels) and it had a leather seat. I used it for a few years before graduating to a cane. I also lost my driving licence for four years so I had to take the wheelchair bus which came to my door.

So how were you able to get a boyfriend despite being Level 2? And I can't get a girlfriend, even though I was assuming I was Level 1?

I guess to be fair, yes I had girlfriends in the past. But they were few and far between. My first lasting relationship was 2003--2004, my second lasting relationship was 2007--2009, and the third one was 2013--2014. However the third one was long distance, I only met her twice despite it lasting 2 years, since I was in India. The first two were in person. In case of the first one I saw her a couple of times a week (she lived 2 hours away) while with the second one we were in the same town and saw each other every day.

I had other relationships, but they were short lived (at most a few months) and they were all long distance. With most of those relationships we never met in person, and with the few where we did meet, only a few times.

But what about you? Is your relationship history better than mine?

https://www.autismforums.com/posts/948381/react?reaction_id=1

How was I able? We started chatting in a waiting room and he gave me his number. I texted him about five days later and the rest is history. It's been 3 years now. He said he was attracted to me because I had a positive energy (not to be confused with being in a positive mood), and he thought I was pretty. Then we had a lot in common and he liked the way I think.

I only had three other relationships ever. First was the man I married and divorced. My daughter's father. Second was a homeless man. I dated him on and off for 7 years. Third was a man at work I'd always been attracted to. We became best friends and went from there.

I'm falling asleep and I feel like I've been ignoring my beau for hours so I'm going to bid you goodnight, head to bed, and hope you have a good day.

 

[Polchinski]

I relate 100% to what you said about picturing places which aren't related to the idea. I do the exact same thing. I have consistent "pictures" for things which don't even match the thing. I picture the wrong houses, or even random scenes from movies / real life, with specific stimuli. I still remember what I pictured or what I was thinking about when I learned things from childhood. Those pictures or flashbacks were never related to the topic but they stuck in my head somehow.

Yes I do the same thing too. I am so glad we can both relate to it.

When I try to remember events like "high school graduation", I don't see the graduation. I see or remember what I was thinking about for a split second during graduation, even though it was unrelated at the time. That becomes my representation of graduation instead of the cap and gown.

Could it be partly because you don't think gown as the important part of graduation? For example, whem most people think of Moscow, they think of Kremlin or Red Square. But I don't really care of either of those things (I associate them with my mom dragging me around places when I was little and me finding it boring). Instead, when I think of Moscow I think of either its northeastern part (where my grandparents -- my mom's parents -- lived) or southwestern part (where my dad lived). Strangely enough, the grandparents part of Moscow is my favorite one, yet both the appartment as well as the pond I mentioend earlier come from dad's part of Moscow. And speaking of that, my parents disagree with my tastes, they think dads part of Moscow is better. So my mom decided to sell my grandparents appartment and keep the dads one.

But in any case, the point is that I like either one of those parts much better than either Kremlin or Red Square. Thats why I would never picture Kremlin or Red Square and instead picture those parts.

With graduation same thing. I just don't find anything that attractive about gown, thats why I don't picture it.

When I picture my graduation, I picture us standing in that stadium, and the song "magic moment in time" being played. I liked that song. But when I listen to songs I only pick up on key words and thats it. So I don't actually know most of the words of that song. What I did hear was "and the answer thats all up to me". I filled it up with my own meaning: namely, when I am graduating I have the future in front of me, so its up to me as to what I will do, I have all those opportunities, I just shouldn't mess it up. I have no idea whether thats what that song actually says, because I don't know the rest of its words. But since I assumed thats what it says and I liked it, thats probably why I didn't look it up to see what it actually says. So yeah, thats what I picture when I think of my own graduation.

Since my mom still lives at town, I basically have that stadium within few miles of my home. At one point I decided to go there to remember that graduation and inspire myself. It worked a couple of times. But then as I started passing by that place on every morning run, eventually this whole meaning has erode since now it is associated with my running.

So nowdays I want to go to the towns I went to graduate school, instead, since those things weren't replaced by the current stuff. I feel I would become younger if I were to go there.

Actually I am not the only one who feels this way that I can become younger by going to certain places. I heard of a Russian song "clear lakes" (which is an actual place in Russia where that song was recorded) the singer was singing it while there and it actually says "we all have places where it is easy to breath and, for a moment, we feel happier, and younger"

Despite this ^ I don't think in pictures. I can't picture things. It's called Aphantasia. If you tell me to picture my dog, I can tell you exactly what he looks like in words but I can't form a visual image in my head.

In my case I would USUALLY have to picture something first, and then describe it based on how my picture looks like.

The only example when it is reverse is when I have thought of something for a long time. For example, when I say "my voice is loud and monotone", I don't have to picture my voice. Because I thought of "that issue" for a long time. But if I were to describe a place or something else I haven't thought about, I would have to picture it first.

But what about you. How would you describe an ability to describe your dog without picturing it?

I'll "picture" something abstract and unrelated like I said above. I might "picture" my mother since she loves my dog.

So does your mother relate to specific aspects of your dog? Like when you describe some particulars of your dog, are you remembering how your mom related to them?

But then I'm not really picturing my mother either because when I think of her I picture something else, and none of it is literal.

That part makes sense, I do that too sometimes. Not always though. Sometimes I would just substitute one thing with the other and picture that other thing. But then in other occasions I would substitute that second thing with the third thing.

What "is" true in my case is that my picturing is never concrete. Because I can't picture the details. For example, I said I pictured the road from the pond. But I don't remember the details as to whether it is a cement road or clay road, what grows around it, etc. Or I said I picture appartment in Moscow, but I actually don't remember all the furniture thats there, or even if I did, I won't be picturing it. But its still that appartment because I can literally picture the location without picturing what is "at" that location.

 

[Polchinski]

It's all just colours and swirls and 3D depth or spatial sense.

I don't think what I picture has too much of 3D effects. Although yes it is 3D, meaning its clearly not 2D. But it doesn't have all those special effects like swirl. I guess it is something in between 2D and 3D.

That's why I'm face blind.

I am face blind too. Although not to the extend that you described. Because I do recognize the professors I am working with. But I don't recognize the students. I need to interact with someone on a regular basis to be able to recognize them.

Now, when it comes to professors I worked in the past, with whom I no longer work, I can recognize them too. Once I remember the face, I remember it. But it takes a really long time to remember.

As far as my officemates, I remembered one of them, but not the others. I guess its because I talked to that officemate but haven't talked to the other ones.

So perhaps my problem with recognizing people is due to the fact that I don't interact with them much. Although it goes the other way too: due to my not recognizeing them, I don't say hi to them, so they decide I am antisocial and don't talk to me. So its kind of circular: my not recognizing causes them not to talk to me, and them not talkign to me makes me not recognize them.

Beyond that, my thinking is only in words.

My thinking is also in words. I remember I assumed everyone else thinks in words, and when I was little I mentioned it. But others didn't understand it. And they said that if I hear literal voices its weird. And I was like "I don't hear literal voices I hear mental voices". They didn't understand what I meant.

However, few years later, in the context of moving to America and learning English, I heard people talk about when they think in Russian and when they think in English. So I guess others do think in words, I just didn't communicate it well.

Perhaps others think in words sometimes but not always? When I was little I thought in words always and was puzzled how others say they don't. But right now I see what they mean. Because I can think of multiple things at the same time, while the words I am thinking with are only mentioning some of those things and not others. So at least some of what I am thinking of is not in words. Which technically means that at times its possible for none of the things to be in words. And the fact that "oftentimes" I do hear words amounts to my not being able to relax my mind.

I read and write in my sleep which is almost unheard of. I wrote my Master's thesis in a dream and watched the words appear in front of my sleeping eyes, like I was typing them on a page. I woke up and transcribed them to paper

I would never be able to write several pages in my sleep, let alone the whole masters. But I remember thinking in complete sentences in my sleep, and in fact thinking in several complete sentences in a row. And then also telling msyelf how its cool that I can think of all those things in my sleep when my mom told me its impossible.

The other thing I remember is solving some physics problems I was puzzled at, in my sleep. But it wasn't writing at all. Rather it was something along the lines of thinking of an idea I have never thought of. But then by the time I am awake enough to find the pencil, I no longer remember it. Once, I had a pencil and paper by my bed. So I wrote it immediately after I woke up. But then I realized that it wasn't as great as I thought it was. It was basically a rehashing of some concept I knew all along, I just didn't realize I knew it since I was asleep, and no it didn't solve what I was puzzled at. But at the same time I felt like there were still some aspects of it that I have forgotten. So who knows.

Visual Snow Syndrome means that everything looks slightly pixellated or fuzzy. I remember looking at the little pixels all my life and thinking they were similar to the dots on an old TV screen. I don't always focus on them but they're always there. I have no way of knowing what's normal in terms of vision or any other part of my psychology. I didn't even know I had synaesthesia until I learned about it in University. Then, I was like "What? Doesn't everyone else do that?"

Here is something interesting. There are physics theories about discrete space. Now I am wondering whether the person who first invented that concept had visual snow syndrome.

To be clear, that discrete space plays a specific role that has nothing to do with it. I am just thinking someone with visual snow syndrome would be more likely to think of it.

So the word "pixels" suggests a square lattice. The word snow suggests more random. How do you picture it?

In my case its the opposite. If I look at TV screen -- that in fact has pixels -- I don't see those pixels. Thats because my mind tries to organize the information into something important (what is actually on the screen) and filter out something that isn't important (pixels). Because if I were to specifically look for the pixels on the screen, then yes I would see them. But unless I look for them, I wouldn't.

Now, if I am not looking at the screen but instead do my daily thing, then I don't see pixels, no. And even if I try to look for them, I still wouldn't.

So it seems like your mind is trying to create something that my mind tries to ignore.

Are you able to count the pixels you see? How many of them do you see?

 

[Polchinski]

I don't do a lot of stim toys in public, but a few. I'm famous for chewing on things like pens. Give me a pen and it's chewed to smithereens and shreds within about an hour. That's a stim for me even though pens aren't usually considered to be toys.

I chew on the pens too. For two different reasons. I am chewing on them lightly when I am thinking (typically about what to write next since thats when I have access to pens). Or I am chewing on them strongly when I am angry at someone.

I am also biting my index finger on the right hand when I am angry. So my index finger on the right hand is permanently swollen. I am biting it throgh clothes nowdays to make it hurt less. But as a kid I was biting it without clothes thats how it got swollen.

I can stim with my hair,

I do that too, also for two reasons. One is I might move it around when I am thinking. The other is I pull the flakes from my scalp.

the hem of my shirt, or by clapping and spinning.

I don't do that

I don't know where you live but it's never inexpensive. My OT cost $150 / 45 minutes and I needed hundreds of hours in 2020 alone.

So $150 times a hundrid would be $15,000. And if you multiply it by several hundrids, it would be like $50,000 or even $100,000? Where do you make so much money? I only make like $18,000 a month, in the best of my years. I have a TA salary.

In any case, this implies I need "significant support" in order for my differences not to be "apparent". So why don't they diagnose me with Level 2 then?

If you have any medical / health insurance they might cover assistive devices liken noise-cancelling headphones.

I don't need noise cancelling headphones as I don't have the sensory issues.

I was never on a wheelchair but I had a rollator walker (the type with wheels) and it had a leather seat.

Is it because of stroke?

I also lost my driving licence for four years so I had to take the wheelchair bus which came to my door

I never learned to drive to begin with. But thats because my parents don't drive (in Russia it used to be common since transportation was good) so they never arranged for me to learn how to drive. I think part of it is that they were making an assumption that if they can't do it, I can't, which I think is unfair towards me. In any case, nowdays that my mom is a lot less capable (my dad and my grandparents are no longer alive) my mom says from time to time it would be nice for me to learn how to drive. I was telling her that I don't see how I will get money, since a single class costs 100 dollars and I would need to take several. She was telling me I should do my part and pass the test about road signs and then she would pay for the rest. So I guess I can just take her word for it and do it. I just tend to procrastinate.

How was I able? We started chatting in a waiting room and he gave me his number. I texted him about five days later and the rest is history. It's been 3 years now. He said he was attracted to me because I had a positive energy (not to be confused with being in a positive mood), and he thought I was pretty. Then we had a lot in common and he liked the way I think.

Those are the exact things nobody sees in me. I guess they think I have bad energy since nobody ever appraches me. And in some very lucky instances when they do, they quickly decide we don't have much in common.

Now, I was thinking that "giving off bad vibes" is precisely what Asperger is about. Thats why it is surprising that I give off bad vibes and you don't, despite the fact that you are classical autistic and I have Asperger.

I only had three other relationships ever. First was the man I married and divorced.

Well, at least you actually ended up being married right from your first relationship. I have never been that lucky. How did you do that? And how did you meet that man?

My daughter's father.

How old is your daughter? And how is she doing?

Second was a homeless man. I dated him on and off for 7 years.

That I can't tell much, as I avoid interacting with homeless people.

Third was a man at work I'd always been attracted to. We became best friends and went from there.

Are you referring to the one whom you started chatting at a waiting room? By waiting room you mean work?

P.S. With regards to our previous conversation about picturing colors or words, I remember an "opposite" example to this. When I was in high school, my high school psychologist asked me "where in the body do I feel happiness or sadness". I said I don't feel it in my body only in my mind. He kept insisting that I should feel it in the body, and I insisted that I just don't. He asked my mom the same question and she also said she doesn't feel it in her body, only her mind. By contrast, one of my ex-s told me that when I upset her she feels it in her body. That was quite surprising. Going back to the psychologist, he asked me that if I don't feel sadness in my body, do I think of it as a particular shape? I said no. Because I can think of concepts and ideas as shapes or places, but not sadness as such. When I feel sad I just feel sad.

 

[Au Naturel]

trust our inner voice or our gut reaction when dates feel "wrong"

There's a good book on the subject by Gavin Debecker called "The Gift of Fear." however the instinct goes way beyond just protection from violence. It protects from any potentially bad experience.

 

[Crossbreed]

Am I mistaking in how I understand those levels?

Generally for adults,

• ASD3s require legal guardians.
• ASD2s require representative payees to receive their SSI (but no legal guardian).
• ASD1s require neither.

And all three can be gifted on top of that. One's severity score considers more than just their intelligence or lack thereof. A person can have a high IQ an still have varying degrees of executive dysfunction, for instance.

 

[Ella Spell]

I chew on the pens too. For two different reasons. I am chewing on them lightly when I am thinking (typically about what to write next since thats when I have access to pens). Or I am chewing on them strongly when I am angry at someone.

I am also biting my index finger on the right hand when I am angry. So my index finger on the right hand is permanently swollen. I am biting it throgh clothes nowdays to make it hurt less. But as a kid I was biting it without clothes thats how it got swollen.



I do that too, also for two reasons. One is I might move it around when I am thinking. The other is I pull the flakes from my scalp.



I don't do that



So $150 times a hundrid would be $15,000. And if you multiply it by several hundrids, it would be like $50,000 or even $100,000? Where do you make so much money? I only make like $18,000 a month, in the best of my years. I have a TA salary.

In any case, this implies I need "significant support" in order for my differences not to be "apparent". So why don't they diagnose me with Level 2 then?



I don't need noise cancelling headphones as I don't have the sensory issues.



Is it because of stroke?



I never learned to drive to begin with. But thats because my parents don't drive (in Russia it used to be common since transportation was good) so they never arranged for me to learn how to drive. I think part of it is that they were making an assumption that if they can't do it, I can't, which I think is unfair towards me. In any case, nowdays that my mom is a lot less capable (my dad and my grandparents are no longer alive) my mom says from time to time it would be nice for me to learn how to drive. I was telling her that I don't see how I will get money, since a single class costs 100 dollars and I would need to take several. She was telling me I should do my part and pass the test about road signs and then she would pay for the rest. So I guess I can just take her word for it and do it. I just tend to procrastinate.



Those are the exact things nobody sees in me. I guess they think I have bad energy since nobody ever appraches me. And in some very lucky instances when they do, they quickly decide we don't have much in common.

Now, I was thinking that "giving off bad vibes" is precisely what Asperger is about. Thats why it is surprising that I give off bad vibes and you don't, despite the fact that you are classical autistic and I have Asperger.



Well, at least you actually ended up being married right from your first relationship. I have never been that lucky. How did you do that? And how did you meet that man?



How old is your daughter? And how is she doing?



That I can't tell much, as I avoid interacting with homeless people.



Are you referring to the one whom you started chatting at a waiting room? By waiting room you mean work?

P.S. With regards to our previous conversation about picturing colors or words, I remember an "opposite" example to this. When I was in high school, my high school psychologist asked me "where in the body do I feel happiness or sadness". I said I don't feel it in my body only in my mind. He kept insisting that I should feel it in the body, and I insisted that I just don't. He asked my mom the same question and she also said she doesn't feel it in her body, only her mind. By contrast, one of my ex-s told me that when I upset her she feels it in her body. That was quite surprising. Going back to the psychologist, he asked me that if I don't feel sadness in my body, do I think of it as a particular shape? I said no. Because I can think of concepts and ideas as shapes or places, but not sadness as such. When I feel sad I just feel sad.

Sorry - I totally forgot to respond to you. I have medical insurance for my OT although there are maximums, so I did have to pay a bit out of pocket that year. Nowhere near $15,000 though. Likely not even $1,500 out of pocket. The other years I didn't go over my maximums so I was covered.

You make $18,000 / month as a TA? I think you meant $1,800?

I can't answer anything about your diagnosis.

Yes the walker was because of stroke. My legs worked but I didn't have any balance and fell down a lot without the walker.

Current Partner - I don't know what vibes I give off. I think most people would think I have a negative vibe of some sort because I don't smile or talk much. I got lucky that day because the conversation was interesting and I decided to jump into it. I was feeling pretty good emotionally because I was on painkillers for a back injury. That's why I was there. Waiting room = medical.

The man I married - Boyfriend 1 - met him on a sailboat. It was my birthday so people were saying happy birthday to me and I guess that caught his attention. I wouldn't call it lucky at all that I met and married him. It caused me a lot of trauma because he used me. I still have trauma from him although we met nearly 40 years ago.

My daughter is in her mid 20's. She's OK thanks, despite chronic illness.

Homeless dude (Second boyfriend) - He wasn't homeless when I met him.

Third boyfriend - I met him through work. We were friends for a long time first.

 

[Ella Spell]

Generally for adults,

• ASD3s require legal guardians.
• ASD2s require representative payees to receive their SSI (but no legal guardian).
• ASD1s require neither.

And all three can be gifted on top of that. One's severity score considers more than just their intelligence or lack thereof. A person can have a high IQ an still have varying degrees of executive dysfunction, for instance.

That's interesting. I'm not in USA and I dont require a representative to receive my federal disability pay. I needed special clauses in my mother's Will so I will be able to receive her estate assets without being disqualified from benefits, when she passes away. I have the same clause in my Will for my daughter, because she's on Disability and could also lose her benefits if she receives inheritance money from me.

IQ isn't tested in ASD assessments, unless you're referring to Non-Verbal and Performance scores, or in situations where the patient seems to have a low IQ which could contribute to a differential diagnosis.

I wonder why 2's would need a representative payee if they don't have an intellectual disability?

 

[Crossbreed]

I wonder why 2's would need a representative payee if they don't have an intellectual disability?

They could still be 2s for severe executive dysfunction (for example), even if they have a normal or higher IQ.

 

[Au Naturel]

That's interesting. I'm not in USA and I dont require a representative to receive my federal disability pay. I needed special clauses in my mother's Will so I will be able to receive her estate assets without being disqualified from benefits, when she passes away. I have the same clause in my Will for my daughter, because she's on Disability and could also lose her benefits if she receives inheritance money from me.

IQ isn't tested in ASD assessments, unless you're referring to Non-Verbal and Performance scores, or in situations where the patient seems to have a low IQ which could contribute to a differential diagnosis.

I wonder why 2's would need a representative payee if they don't have an intellectual disability?

There are many ways to be dysfunctional other than having a low IQ. The inability to understand social signals sets many up as easy pickings for confidence schemes. The lack of worldly experience can leave one's financial judgment stunted. They can often have difficulty communicating their needs effectively. The representative's job is to help with this.

 

[Ella Spell]

There are many ways to be dysfunctional other than having a low IQ. The inability to understand social signals sets many up as easy pickings for confidence schemes. The lack of worldly experience can leave one's financial judgment stunted. They can often have difficulty communicating their needs effectively. The representative's job is to help with this.

I agree with the fact we might need support. I guess I was confused because it says ASD2 requires it, rather than specifying "ASD2 with _______ (the things your listed)". Require is a strong word for someone who is independent and used to living alone. I'm a single mother in my own home so it's hard to imagine having a representative payee hand out my money in stipends.

That being said, I have really severe ADHD. I read somewhere that there are special financial advisors and accountants available for people with ADHD, so they don't overspend, go on spending sprees, lack impulse control, forget to pay their bills on time, etc., not to mention they could have difficulty holding down a steady job or even a secure marriage because of ADHD. It's considered a serious disability financially, since people could lose their homes over it, or not pay their taxes.

I keep meaning to look for those services because I think it would be really helpful for me. I'm assuming they cost money, but I'm not sure.

 

[Crossbreed]

I keep meaning to look for those services because I think it would be really helpful for me. I'm assuming they cost money, but I'm not sure.

It does not cost money to inquire.

I guess I was confused because it says ASD2 requires it, rather than specifying "ASD2 with _______ (the things your listed)". Require is a strong word for someone who is independent and used to living alone.

When someone has severity level 2, they generally need that kind of help regardless which conditions they have or don't have.

A 2 is a 2 because of the combined effect of their co-morbids or they are not a 2.

If an ASD person does not need that kind of help, they are a 1.

I'm a single mother in my own home so it's hard to imagine having a representative payee hand out my money in stipends.

The payee applies the income to routine expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, etc. and hands the remainder to you. Depending on the need, they may help you manage other expenses, debts, taxes, etc.

 

[Au Naturel]

I agree with the fact we might need support. I guess I was confused because it says ASD2 requires it, rather than specifying "ASD2 with _______ (the things your listed)". Require is a strong word for someone who is independent and used to living alone. I'm a single mother in my own home so it's hard to imagine having a representative payee hand out my money in stipends.

That being said, I have really severe ADHD. I read somewhere that there are special financial advisors and accountants available for people with ADHD, so they don't overspend, go on spending sprees, lack impulse control, forget to pay their bills on time, etc., not to mention they could have difficulty holding down a steady job or even a secure marriage because of ADHD. It's considered a serious disability financially, since people could lose their homes over it, or not pay their taxes.

I keep meaning to look for those services because I think it would be really helpful for me. I'm assuming they cost money, but I'm not sure.

There is probably a reason why poverty is much higher in ASD people.

Generally, if you can function without extra support, you are considered ASD1. That doesn't mean that doing so isn't miserable or you wouldn't be more successful with help. It is all a matter of the diagnostician's opinion. When I needed help most there was only opposition so I had to work my way through it, regardless of what level my ASD was at. Functional on some minimal level because I had to be. It is still tough but not like when I was young.

The labels are just labels and I hate labels. What if you are really ASD .35? What if it is ASD 2.07? Or 1.5 in one area and .9 in another? Don't let labels bind you. Only consider what you can and cannot do and let it define itself.

 

[Crossbreed]

There is probably a reason why poverty is much higher in ASD people.

We went bankrupt in 2004, largely using the financial tactics taught in high school, particularly, operating from a single checking account.

After that, I made our finances into a special interest and developed a money management system that is easier to maintain & monitor. We are still on the poverty line, but I have a credit score in the 800s.

An accountant later told me that it is called a "funds accounting" system and it works similar to "envelope" bookkeeping.

 

[Au Naturel]

We went bankrupt in 2004, largely using the financial tactics taught in high school, particularly, operating from a single checking account.

After that, I made our finances into a special interest and developed a money management system that is easier to maintain & monitor. We are still on the poverty line, but I have a credit score in the 800s.

An accountant later told me that it is called a "funds accounting" system and it works similar to "envelope" bookkeeping.

My high school didn't teach any financial tactics at all. We either learned from our parents - or the hard way.

 

[Ella Spell]

When someone has severity level 2, they generally need that kind of help regardless which conditions they have or don't have.

A 2 is a 2 because of the combined effect of their co-morbids or they are not a 2.

If an ASD person does not need that kind of help, they are a 1.

The payee applies the income to routine expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, etc. and hands the remainder to you. Depending on the need, they may help you manage other expenses, debts, taxes, etc.

I agree a Level2 can use financial support regardless of comorbids, but it's not offered where I live and we don't get assigned any sort of representative. My point was that the only instance I've heard of, is with regard to ADHD because of poor EF and impulsivity. Not all people with ASD have ADHD even though it's common, so I was suggesting that maybe the L2s who aren't ADHD but have specific, well-documented and measured deficits in EF on their reports might be able to get support here.

I am diagnosed ASD2 and ADHD-C, with all the test scores and individual areas described. If support exists here it's in the form of accountants rather than representative payees, but it's still worth looking into if I can get up the EF to actually conduct the research and make phone calls, which is doubtful yet to be expected with my diagnoses.

I made my comment because from what I've heard, many other autistic people don't have sufficient documentation about strengths and weaknesses on their reports to substantiate a claim where I live, regardless of level. I've talked to many people online who don't even have a formal report because they were given a verbal diagnosis, or it's outdated, or it says "Autism: HFA" or even "Level2" with no other details.

From what I understand that wouldn't be enough to prove that the person has ADHD-type deficits even though you and I know it's likely true. It seems I'm lucky to have the detailed report that I received (30 pages), but even my daughter's is much less detailed because she was diagnosed (ASD1) elsewhere. She does have a separate ADHD diagnosis which is much better described and substantiated, so I'm hoping someone will wave a magic wand and show me how to get help.

 

[Crossbreed]

I'm hoping someone will wave a magic wand and show me how to get help.

What country are you in, again?

 

[Ella Spell]

The Great White North.

Because I'm on Federal Disability I don't even get access to the services offered to people on provincial disability, like help with snow shovelling, lawn care, day programs, etc. My daughter is on provincial, but she can't get those services either because she doesn't own the house. If I transfer the house to her, she loses her benefits. If I sell the house, rent would cost at least 3x more than my mortgage.

Disabled people here didn't even get Covid stimulus money.

^ ^

These are just a few scores of many.
In addition I have a full ADHD-C report, but I don't have that on my computer.

Oh, and add two strokes on top for good measure.

 

[VictorR]

I agree a Level2 can use financial support regardless of comorbids, but it's not offered where I live and we don't get assigned any sort of representative. My point was that the only instance I've heard of, is with regard to ADHD because of poor EF and impulsivity. Not all people with ASD have ADHD even though it's common, so I was suggesting that maybe the L2s who aren't ADHD but have specific, well-documented and measured deficits in EF on their reports might be able to get support here.

I am diagnosed ASD2 and ADHD-C, with all the test scores and individual areas described. If support exists here it's in the form of accountants rather than representative payees, but it's still worth looking into if I can get up the EF to actually conduct the research and make phone calls, which is doubtful yet to be expected with my diagnoses.

I made my comment because from what I've heard, many other autistic people don't have sufficient documentation about strengths and weaknesses on their reports to substantiate a claim where I live, regardless of level. I've talked to many people online who don't even have a formal report because they were given a verbal diagnosis, or it's outdated, or it says "Autism: HFA" or even "Level2" with no other details.

From what I understand that wouldn't be enough to prove that the person has ADHD-type deficits even though you and I know it's likely true. It seems I'm lucky to have the detailed report that I received (30 pages), but even my daughter's is much less detailed because she was diagnosed (ASD1) elsewhere. She does have a separate ADHD diagnosis which is much better described and substantiated, so I'm hoping someone will wave a magic wand and show me how to get help.

In my case, there were some test scores and I was shown some charts (some of my scores were 2 standard deviations+), but they were not part of my report.

For what it's worth, I'm officially ASD1, but I have a feeling that had I been diagnosed as a child I likely would have been placed in ASD2.

 

[VictorR]

Because I'm on Federal Disability I don't even get access to the services offered to people on provincial disability, like help with snow shovelling, lawn care, day programs, etc. My daughter is on provincial, but she can't get those services either because she doesn't own the house. If I transfer the house to her, she loses her benefits. If I sell the house, rent would cost at least 3x more than my mortgage.

One of the things I find fascinating is how the provincial disability programs have a fair bit of differences in terms of rules, like how much income one can earn, or what types of assets and how much assets can be exempted.

On the federal side, my main concern is that those whose disability becomes severe early in their career end up getting stuck with benefits based on the earnings at that time, though of course this is also a problem with worker's compensation programs for those injured on the job. I suppose it's technically fair since premiums are based on what one was earning as opposed to future earning growth potential.

Disabled people here didn't even get Covid stimulus money.

Something that I am hopeful for is that future programs would take those with disabilities more into consideration. However, I recognize that things take time, and so even with some of the proposals currently being discussed, there's a good chance that it may be several years before we see what comes of them.

Something that worries me greatly is the lack of supports for elders with disabilities and I was disappointed to see that the report issued last year on the spectrum didn't address the topic. (I guess not enough people raised the topic. Something that concerned me about the report is that it seemed more industry driven and that there wasn't enough autistic persons and diversity of autistic experiences represented during the development and consultations.)