If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

[Slyfox]

Hmmm, so to take a light-hearted view (without meaning to be disparaging!), if you were not autistic, you could have died or been cruelly handicapped because you joined the military, and your family life could be in tatters due to divorce or other upsets causing you even more grief than not having one?

death would be better. most my friends joined military and have great lifes now. non of them died. and its bettere to loved and lost than never loved at all. wouldn't wish my life on anyone even as punishment for crimes.

 

[Slyfox]

every man at my work besides 2 other guys has a love relationship. and one just got out of one and will likely be in another in few weeks. hes never struggled with finding gf. the other doesnt want to be in one. most nts dont stay single long. they can go from one to another, so they like its easy. if i wasnt way i am i could work full time at least which would greatly increase my chances finding love. i could have worked for my uncle and taken over his business and be well off as contractor. hes rich and has 2 houses one in town and one on beach, all paid from his business. but i cant do that. i could also been mechanic. but no i can't handle over 16 hours of work. no woman wants to date loser like me.

 

[Boogs]

There's no way to know what life would be like with any of our "what if" scenarios. (I thought of writing almost exactly what you did, @Boogs, but didn't trust myself to do it kindly.)

Well I hope my version wasn't too abrasive then!

 

[Boogs]

death would be better. most my friends joined military and have great lifes now. non of them died. and its bettere to loved and lost than never loved at all. wouldn't wish my life on anyone even as punishment for crimes.

Dead will always be there, waiting for each of us, as important and immutable as life.
As for wishing your life on others, be careful! Some, in fact very very many humans have been, and will be destined to a short painful and terribly cruel unfair life. Are you truly so sure yours could not be better than the worst?

Obviously, I couldn't know for sure, but the probability is that there are far worse lives lived than yours in the history of human kind. That doesn't make your life easy either, in fact it's damn near impossible to judge one life against another. The one rule that's always turned out true though, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence (by perception).

 

[Boogs]

hes never struggled with finding gf.

Hmmm, makes you wonder why he can't make long term relationships? Maybe he's not quite so happy as he'd like everyone to think? Who knows?

 

[Slyfox]

Hmmm, makes you wonder why he can't make long term relationships? Maybe he's not quite so happy as he'd like everyone to think? Who knows?

people take while to find their match. they still friends so its not like it was horrible. maybe she wanted kids and he doesnt. she might had to move etc. point still stands its way easier for nts to find romance then autistics esspially ones on disability working part time min wage retail jobs. i wouldn’t even consider my existence life. i exist to wait to die suffering alone. most other people with all there’s issues have someone to suffer with. wish i didn’t have to work being around these people makes me sadder. and having to hear them tell me well just improve yourself knowing its not possible is depressing.

 

[Slyfox]

im 36 and never had a single relationship or 2nd date. never going happen either. even if by some chance it did it wouldn't matter anymore as its too late. i think autism is gods way of punishing us. i dont know what for though.

 

[Misty Avich]

im 36 and never had a single relationship or 2nd date. never going happen either. even if by some chance it did it wouldn't matter anymore as its too late. i think autism is gods way of punishing us. i dont know what for though.

You're wrong about it being too late.
But you could be right about autism being God's way of punishing us, or, as an atheist, a cruel injustice of nature.

 

[Jeff T]

I was born with a certain hand of cards; and my upbringing added/changed a few. The idea is to use that hand of cards in a good way (try, at least) and not to ruminate on the cards you don't, and can't, have.

 

[thejuice]

It can make you more independent and stronger, overall.

It's often why Im surprised at how some people crumble or run to authority at the first sign of discomfort or light confrontation. They've never had true adversity to develop coping skills nor native wit in their lives. Pampered NPCs have had support systems that have cushioned everything. Being unloved is something they have no desire nor need to understand. It provides us an unforeseen resilience which can be something to be grateful for, if only we harness it. Don't need them, don't want them, we march on.

 

[Slyfox]

You're wrong about it being too late.
But you could be right about autism being God's way of punishing us, or, as an atheist, a cruel injustice of nature.

To have the type of relationship i want it is. I also don't see my chances of meeting woman who doesn't care about my financial situation getting any better as I get older. I havent had match in years or date in over 10 years now

 

[Jonn]

Dead will always be there, waiting for each of us, as important and immutable as life.
As for wishing your life on others, be careful! Some, in fact very very many humans have been, and will be destined to a short painful and terribly cruel unfair life. Are you truly so sure yours could not be better than the worst?

Obviously, I couldn't know for sure, but the probability is that there are far worse lives lived than yours in the history of human kind. That doesn't make your life easy either, in fact it's damn near impossible to judge one life against another. The one rule that's always turned out true though, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side of the fence (by perception).

There is no intrinsic fairness/justice. <shrug>
When I am gone, I ain't coming back.

 

[Boogs]

people take while to find their match. they still friends so its not like it was horrible. maybe she wanted kids and he doesnt. she might had to move etc. point still stands its way easier for nts to find romance then autistics esspially ones on disability working part time min wage retail jobs. i wouldn’t even consider my existence life. i exist to wait to die suffering alone. most other people with all there’s issues have someone to suffer with. wish i didn’t have to work being around these people makes me sadder. and having to hear them tell me well just improve yourself knowing its not possible is depressing.

I quite agree, but it is my experience that a great many people regardless of their flavour, will, shall we say, bend the truth a little in declaring how successful their lives are in the various areas that matter to them.

 

[Boogs]

There is no intrinsic fairness/justice. <shrug>

Of course, it's an abstract anthropic concept, like truth and lies, good and evil, and all the other constructs that are the foundation of a 'civilisation'. Without these ideas a rule of law is not possible, only the rule of the most powerful can prevail.

 

[Boogs]

But you could be right about autism being God's way of punishing us, or, as an atheist, a cruel injustice of nature.

Nah, nature isn't cruel, only human's and their inventions are cruel.
Nature is just nature! Unless you want to ascribe evolution and life itself as intrinsically cruel? In which case our whole existence is predicated on cruelty.
Surely cruelty is just a human's biased description?

 

[Jonn]

Nature is just nature! Unless you want to ascribe evolution and life itself as intrinsically cruel? In which case our whole existence is predicated on cruelty.
Surely cruelty is just a human's biased description?

From a cognitive human's point of view:
Where there is sentient life, there is pain.

Clearly:
"Life is a suffering farm."

 

[Cutesie]

From a cognitive human's point of view:
Where there is sentient life, there is pain.

Clearly:
"Life is a suffering farm."

From what I'm told, my great-grandmother "never had a day without pain in her life". Still, she was happy. When asked, "how do you feel", she would respond: "Thank G-d, I feel." This line was adopted by other relatives - my great-grandfather, grandfather, aunt, et al. Sometimes, I choose to say it, even though I'd rather be dead than to "feel".

 

[Jonn]

Nah, nature isn't cruel, only human's and their inventions are cruel.

Context, my friend.
From a human's point of view, life can be, and often is, extremely cruel.

Shifting the context doesn't invalidate the intended message.
I am sure you will agree.

Nature is just nature! Unless you want to ascribe evolution and life itself as intrinsically cruel? In which case our whole existence is predicated on cruelty.

Bingo!

Spoiler

Surely cruelty is just a human's biased description?

One that can be extremely distressing, or satisfying, depending on who is the giver, and who is the receiver.

Spoiler

Surely, you aren't trying to invalidate traumatic misery?
That would be wery, wery, wery naughty.

 

[Jonn]

From what I'm told, my great-grandmother "never had a day without pain in her life". Still, she was happy. When asked, "how do you feel", she would respond: "Thank G-d, I feel." This line was adopted by other relatives - my great-grandfather, grandfather, aunt, et al. Sometimes, I choose to say it, even though I'd rather be dead than to "feel".

Her life...
Her choice...

 

[Cutesie]

From what I'm told, my great-grandmother "never had a day without pain in her life". Still, she was happy. When asked, "how do you feel", she would respond: "Thank G-d, I feel." This line was adopted by other relatives - my great-grandfather, grandfather, aunt, et al. Sometimes, I choose to say it, even though I'd rather be dead than to "feel".

To clarify: There was no intent in my message to push a religious agenda. It is the idea that a person can use tools to find peace with the world. Believing in a Divine presence and plan is just one of those methods.