let me die please

[Gerontius]

I'm not with him, he dumped me. I'm really not good enough.

What I see is almost a codependent situation; you were wanting him there when you were in hospital but he doesn't sound like he's very nice to you at all.

This isn't what real healthy relationships are like. Now that you're out of that one you are all set up for living on your own and getting strong again. Then maybe you can find someone nicer, but you're very young, and maybe you can give it a few years before you try to find someone.

My mom & dad have been married since 1989. They were just really good friends--and here in the 21st century they're still good friends. Find yourself that kind of situation.

 

[Roxiee]

What I see is almost a codependent situation; you were wanting him there when you were in hospital but he doesn't sound like he's very nice to you at all.

This isn't what real healthy relationships are like. Now that you're out of that one you are all set up for living on your own and getting strong again. Then maybe you can find someone nicer, but you're very young, and maybe you can give it a few years before you try to find someone.

My mom & dad have been married since 1989. They were just really good friends--and here in the 21st century they're still good friends. Find yourself that kind of situation.

Yeah maybe. But my ugly ass won't find anyone

 

[Gerontius]

And you are definitely good enough. If a trash human measures you by trash standards & you don't measure up, what does that make you?

Definitely not trash!

Keep healing; we're all pulling for you and you have a whole forum full of people here who think you're a very nice person.


(Edit: I just saw the photo you posted of yourself. One, you look great when I cover the part of the picture with the douchebag your ex. Two, hate to break the news to you but you really are not that ugly; I've seen girls looking like you in the movies but cannot remember actresses' names well. But you look like you have a really nice personality and they often do not, so that's one more for you. You will feel as good as you look when you heal up more...it will take time but you will have a long & fulfilling life to keep being a good person.)

 

[Owliet]

Because I'm not letting anyone see I'm spiralling

Then you need to be honest with them so they can help you. You’ve got access to support which is there to help you.

 

[Roxiee]

And you are definitely good enough. If a trash human measures you by trash standards & you don't measure up, what does that make you?

Definitely not trash!

Keep healing; we're all pulling for you and you have a whole forum full of people here who think you're a very nice person.

I'm not nice, I loved him but now I'm raising a child on my own

 

[Gerontius]

I'm not nice, I loved him but now I'm raising a child on my own

I didn't know you had a baby. What's her name?
Babies are pretty cute, even when they look like wrinkly screaming child potatoes--because they snap back to being little angels before too long. Maybe baby can have your last name. Start over entirely, and all that.

I've never raised a baby before. They seem fascinating.

 

[Roxiee]

And you are definitely good enough. If a trash human measures you by trash standards & you don't measure up, what does that make you?

Definitely not trash!

Keep healing; we're all pulling for you and you have a whole forum full of people here who think you're a very nice person.


(Edit: I just saw the photo you posted of yourself. One, you look great when I cover the part of the picture with the douchebag your ex. Two, hate to break the news to you but you really are not that ugly; I've seen girls looking like you in the movies but cannot remember actresses' names well. But you look like you have a really nice personality and they often do not, so that's one more for you. You will feel as good as you look when you heal up more...it will take time but you will have a long & fulfilling life to keep being a good person.)

That's so sweet, thank you! This made me smile, and I get told that a lot!

 

[Roxiee]

I didn't know you had a baby. What's her name?
Babies are pretty cute, even when they look like wrinkly screaming child potatoes--because they snap back to being little angels before too long. Maybe baby can have your last name. Start over entirely, and all that.

I've never raised a baby before. They seem fascinating.

Her names called Lola. Yes, I have a baby ( I don't tell anyone to keep myself safe!)

 

[Owliet]

I honestly need to get out here, I'm spiralling, I'm hurting I feel like im gonna make sure I'm dead I'm honestly too broken to care anymore. My boyfriend called me fat and he said he wishes he never ever got me pregnant. He broke up with me. I'm not good enough for anyone, you rape me and make me feel like im ugly which I am, how is it fair? I'm broken and hurting and you say you wish we never had a daughter and that you wish you still had raped me.

I said it in the other thread but you really need to let those who are in the position to help you to help you. This is the only was that you can start your healing process.
Your boyfriend sexually assaulted you, and you still feel like he’s worth your thoughts and emotions? You’re giving him too much power over you when he’s nothing more than a manipulative creep. Whilst I was not sexually assaulted, I was in a position were I gave a guy too much worth. And then was utterly broken when he dumped me. This is despite him using me for sex and strangling me in the process and because I didn’t really know any better I thought it was normal. It is not normal! This is what your ex has done to you, so why don’t you try to start healing and understand that he is the one who is worthless. If someone can sexually abuse another and see nothing wrong with their actions, then why would you want to be around someone who can do that to you? I’m hesitant to ask but you mentioned a child From this.... Where is your child? Is your child safe?

 

[Roxiee]

I said it in the other thread but you really need to let those who are in the position to help you to help you. This is the only was that you can start your healing process.
Your boyfriend sexually assaulted you, and you still feel like he’s worth your thoughts and emotions? You’re giving him too much power over you when he’s nothing more than a manipulative creep. Whilst I was not sexually assaulted, I was in a position were I gave a guy too much worth. And then was utterly broken when he dumped me. This is despite him using me for sex and strangling me in the process and because I didn’t really know any better I thought it was normal. It is not normal! This is what your ex has done to you, so why don’t you try to start healing and understand that he is the one who is worthless. If someone can sexually abuse another and see nothing wrong with their actions, then why would you want to be around someone who can do that to you? I’m hesitant to ask but you mentioned a child From this.... Where is your child? Is your child safe?

My child lives with my mum, ( she's safe!) It's his baby, and my child.

 

[Roxiee]

I said it in the other thread but you really need to let those who are in the position to help you to help you. This is the only was that you can start your healing process.
Your boyfriend sexually assaulted you, and you still feel like he’s worth your thoughts and emotions? You’re giving him too much power over you when he’s nothing more than a manipulative creep. Whilst I was not sexually assaulted, I was in a position were I gave a guy too much worth. And then was utterly broken when he dumped me. This is despite him using me for sex and strangling me in the process and because I didn’t really know any better I thought it was normal. It is not normal! This is what your ex has done to you, so why don’t you try to start healing and understand that he is the one who is worthless. If someone can sexually abuse another and see nothing wrong with their actions, then why would you want to be around someone who can do that to you? I’m hesitant to ask but you mentioned a child From this.... Where is your child? Is your child safe?

No one else will love me except from him, I love him he abuses me yes hits me but I love him, it's normal.

 

[Storm Hess]

I honestly need to get out here, I'm spiralling, I'm hurting I feel like im gonna make sure I'm dead I'm honestly too broken to care anymore. My boyfriend called me fat and he said he wishes he never ever got me pregnant. He broke up with me. I'm not good enough for anyone, you rape me and make me feel like im ugly which I am, how is it fair? I'm broken and hurting and you say you wish we never had a daughter and that you wish you still had raped me.

Sometimes, to make a lion, they must endure more than those who wish to remain sheep. You are stronger than you know.

 

[Roxiee]

Sometimes, to make a lion, they must endure more than those who wish to remain sheep. You are stronger than you know.
View attachment 75870

Thank you!

 

[Gerontius]

Lola is a very nice name for a baby. If there was ever a reason to keep on living, it's that--And she is hopefully quite happy at grandma's house until you can get back over there and see her.

And that's not "his baby" -- People who hit you do not actually love you; this is the definition of an unhealthy codependency. He's got you thinking that you're unworthy of love and that he is the only person in the big green earth capable of condescending to love you--then why is he so much of trash about it. And he's done a successful job of it. Time to prove him wrong--Abuse might be common but it's not right nor normal.

 

[Owliet]

My child lives with my mum, ( she's safe!) It's his baby, and my child.

It’s your child. Not his. If he can treat you like this, he doesn’t deserve to have anything to do with your child. Because what would he do to your child? Especially if he wishes that you both never had your child.. Glad to hear that your mom is looking after your child. Is your mom supporting you?

 

[Storm Hess]

Thank you!

You are welcome.

 

[Roxiee]

Lola is safe, she's in safe hands I face time her every day and she makes me smile yes he hits me pushes me down stairs but I'm stronger then him Lola needs me he don't deserve m3

 

[Roxiee]

You are welcome.

Hugs!

 

[Gerontius]

It’s your child. Not his. If he can treat you like this, he doesn’t deserve to have anything to do with your child. Because what would he do to your child? Especially if he wishes that you both never had your child.. Glad to hear that your mom is looking after your child. Is your mom supporting you?

Wouldn't let the man look after a dog-pen let alone a child. Back home in the South I used to hear stories about guys who were like that. If the girl's families got them--usually the body was never found.

(Edit--This is not advice.)

 

[Roxiee]

Wouldn't let the man look after a dog-pen let alone a child. Back home in the South I used to hear stories about guys who were like that. If the girl's families got them--usually the body was never found.

He is so angry I don't deserve him though!