My therapist told me there are still single women out there.

[Markness]

I keep worrying that the longer I go without having a partner in my life, the odds are less likely that I will ever meet her.

 

[tree]

I keep worrying that the longer I go without having a partner in my life, the odds are less likely that I will ever meet her.

Yes, that is a persistent thought that you keep having.

An alternate way to consider this is something like
*I am closer than ever before to developing a relationship
with someone I can love. I continue to have experiences
from which I learn.*

 

[Markness]

Yes, that is a persistent thought that you keep having.

An alternate way to consider this is something like
*I am closer than ever before to developing a relationship
with someone I can love. I continue to have experiences
from which I learn.*

Are you saying that I shouldn’t feel sad?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I just wish the chronic loneliness and brief glimpses of hope that end up in disappointment (Such as the case with Jennifer.) would come to an end.

That is entirely up to you. Own all of it.

 

[tree]

Are you saying that I shouldn’t feel sad?

How happy is it making you to keep telling yourself
"the longer I go without having a partner in my life, the odds are less likely that I will ever meet her."?

What particular use it is to keep repeating that?

 

[AspieChris]

I keep worrying that the longer I go without having a partner in my life, the odds are less likely that I will ever meet her.

Actually…. The longer you go without settling for the wrong partner, the odds are less likely that you’ll be stuck in a bad situation while the perfect partner for you wishes you were single.

You’re a good person. Good people don’t cheat on their partners. Especially if there’s a child involved. And good people don’t respect someone who would cheat, even if it means that they get a good relationship from it. So…. If Mrs Right meets you, and you’re in some sort of committed relationship…. you’ll never get the chance.

Loneliness is not good. However, bad relationships tend to lead towards bad marriages and babies. The longer you wait for the right person, the better your odds of finding that person when the both of you are at the right place/time/etc.

 

[Markness]

How happy is it making you to keep telling yourself
"the longer I go without having a partner in my life, the odds are less likely that I will ever meet her."?

What particular use it is to keep repeating that?

It doesn’t make me happy. It makes me feel even more down.

I suppose I do it as a cry for help.

 

[Magna]

If you developed a close platonic friendship with a woman, would that more or less solve the issue you're continually wrangling with? If not and you say an ideal relationship in your mind includes sexual intimacy, do you live in or near a state where sex work is legal? If so...split it up if you feel the need. Have a solid and meaningful platonic friendship and then get your sex somewhere else. Ideal? Perhaps not. But would that be better than your current situation?

 

[tree]

Somehow I think that if he paid for sexual manipulations,
he'd just feel worse about himself.

I could be mistaken, of course.

 

[Magna]

Somehow I think that if he paid for sexual manipulations,
he'd just feel worse about himself.

I could be mistaken, of course.

Maybe. But there's an increasing and not insignificant percentage of single men who are not single by choice. Some of them invariably establish a workaround where they figure out some workable scenario related to their sexual desires and then get on with the rest of their life that is independent from the sexual.

 

[Markness]

Somehow I think that if he paid for sexual manipulations,
he'd just feel worse about himself.

I could be mistaken, of course.

I wouldn’t. Texas laws just make the prospects very risky.

 

[Magna]

I wouldn’t. Texas laws just make the prospects very risky.

If that law changed, would that change your view on the subject? Why or why not?

 

[Markness]

If you developed a close platonic friendship with a woman, would that more or less solve the issue you're continually wrangling with? If not and you say an ideal relationship in your mind includes sexual intimacy, do you live in or near a state where sex work is legal? If so...split it up if you feel the need. Have a solid and meaningful platonic friendship and then get your sex somewhere else. Ideal? Perhaps not. But would that be better than your current situation?

I am not against having platonic friendships with women. I actually have a female friend who hasn’t cut me off for already being married. I’ve lost platonic friendships with women because they would get involved with men who would disallow them from having male friends.

Some of my detractors have told me to “get a hooker” not realizing that soliciting sex in Texas is illegal.

 

[Markness]

If that law changed, would that change your view on the subject? Why or why not?

It wouldn’t because I already think the law needs to be changed.

 

[Magna]

It wouldn’t because I already think the law needs to be changed.

So if the law changed in Texas and sex work was made legal, you're saying that you would consider obtaining sex of some type by way of a sex worker?

 

[tree]

I wouldn’t. Texas laws just make the prospects very risky.

You wouldn't feel worse if you paid a prostitute?

You couldn't possibly feel more negative about yourself , so
availing the services of a prostitute wouldn't make any difference?

Or you wouldn't go to a hooker, because you might get caught?

Or what?

 

[Markness]

You wouldn't feel worse if you paid a prostitute?

You couldn't possibly feel more negative about yourself , so
availing the services of a prostitute wouldn't make any difference?

Or you wouldn't go to a hooker, because you might get caught?

Or what?

I worry about getting caught.

 

[Magna]

I'm still not clear: If Texas legalized sex work, would you then at that point consider pursuing obtaining sex in some form or another via sex work?

 

[AspieChris]

I can’t speak for anyone else but me. But paying someone to pretend that they like me is completely unappetizing. Sex workers that are “affordable” are often unclean (like they don’t bathe often), and the thought of being intimate with someone who was intimate with someone else a half hour ago sounds pretty gross.

 

[Magna]

I can’t speak for anyone else but me. But paying someone to pretend that they like me is completely unappetizing. Sex workers that are “affordable” are often unclean (like they don’t bathe often), and the thought of being intimate with someone who was intimate with someone else a half hour ago sounds pretty gross.

Agreed. Anyone who would seek to create, recreate or even simulate the level of meaning of sexual intimacy in a committed monogamous loving relationship by way of sex with a sex worker would be sorely disappointed, I'm sure.

Bearing in mind, however, most often people who partake in the services of sex workers are not looking to recreate or simulate an aspect of relationship intimacy at all and instead are seeking help with fulfilling a basic sexual/physical need and they're more than fine with that. Other than the money aspect, not really much different than the widely accepted "hook up culture" prevalent today.