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Still single

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Markness said:
They don’t want to talk to me so they don’t wish me well and hope I continue to struggle.
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Sometimes people are busy or don't have anything to say
beyond what they've already said.

It is a great leap of imagination to assume that lack of response equals
ill wishes. Telling yourself that is not based in rational thinking.

A great story to repeat to yourself if you want to feel angry and unhappy, though.
 
Markness said:
They don’t want to talk to me so they don’t wish me well and hope I continue to struggle.
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I don't think I've ever seen you respond to someone else's post about their struggles. I guess that means that you don't wish them well and that you hope they continue to struggle.
 
Mary Terry said:
I don't think I've ever seen you respond to someone else's post about their struggles. I guess that means that you don't wish them well and that you hope they continue to struggle.
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I respond to Misty Avich’s struggles as well as Metalhead’s and gave my condolences to Tony about his uncle.
 
Your posts get ignored?

You mean you don't receive as many replies to your Profile Posts as you'd prefer?

Often you fail to respond to questions people ask on your Profile.

But somehow you feel it's unfair that other people aren't as attentive as you'd like them to be?

As far as Block/Ignore.....have you never done that yourself?
 
tree said:
Your posts get ignored?

You mean you don't receive as many replies to your Profile Posts as you'd prefer?

Often you fail to respond to questions people ask on your Profile.

But somehow you feel it's unfair that other people aren't as attentive as you'd like them to be?

As far as Block/Ignore.....have you never done that yourself?
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I am talking about my regular posts, not my profile posts.
 
Markness said:
Sometimes my posts get ignored and I know at least one or two people have me blocked so they’ve shut me out.
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I'm trying hard not to sound harsh, but you post about the same things. People have said enough since there isn't anything else to say. They told you advice, and if you aren't taking it, why should they repeat themselves?

If you want to have people offer some help, perhaps frame your topics in a way that isn't:

"Will I ever get a girlfriend?"

"Why can't I get a date?"


You should try:

"Do you guys have tips on building up confidence?"

"Any tips for small talk?"

Or if you don't want to talk about relationship stuff...talk about your interests. Talk about anime, manga, video games, TV shows you like. Music. More about that than the above. Post in a random thread here.
 
Markness said:
I am talking about my regular posts, not my profile posts.
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Markness - people get burned out and tired of reading the same things you post over and over, year after year. They offer suggestions and sympathy and ask questions to further try to help you, all of which you basically ignore. It's sympathy fatigue by other people.

Can you see that you're wrong when you think people are being mean to you when they ignore your posts? You ignore the vast majority of other people's posts seeking help here but you don't consider yourself to be detractors of them or being mean to them when you ignore them.

Why should someone who does exactly what you do be characterized by you as detractors or being mean to you? They can just claim that you're a detractor and being mean to them.
 
Mary Terry said:
Markness - people get burned out and tired of reading the same things you post over and over, year after year. They offer suggestions and sympathy and ask questions to further try to help you, all of which you basically ignore. It's sympathy fatigue by other people.

Can you see that you're wrong when you think people are being mean to you when they ignore your posts? You ignore the vast majority of other people's posts seeking help here but you don't consider yourself to be detractors of them or being mean to them when you ignore them.

Why should someone who does exactly what you do be characterized by you as detractors or being mean to you? They can just claim that you're a detractor and being mean to them.
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I wish I could post about finally having love come into my life; I get upset when the year passes and it doesn’t happen despite my efforts. It hasn’t helped that this year someone outside here went out of his way to say that I looked like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons just for having a receding hairline, claimed I am actually 40 instead of 35, and he boasted about having a girlfriend to me while I do not.

I’m struggling with my executive function right now.
 
Markness said:
It hasn’t helped that this year someone outside here went out of his way to say that I looked like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons just for having a receding hairline, claimed I am actually 40 instead of 35, and he boasted about having a girlfriend to me while I do not.

I’m struggling with my executive function right now.
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Your best bet is to simply avoid people like that who have little more than malicious intent in upsetting you. Malicious bullies can exist as adults as well.

They are literally the last people you want to listen to, let alone take their malice seriously.

Such mindsets aren't trying to help you, but only trying to hurt you any way they can. Not be taken as either friends or acquaintances. They're predators- not "detractors".
 
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Markness said:
I wish I could post about finally having love come into my life; I get upset when the year passes and it doesn’t happen despite my efforts. It hasn’t helped that this year someone outside here went out of his way to say that I looked like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons just for having a receding hairline, claimed I am actually 40 instead of 35, and he boasted about having a girlfriend to me while I do not.

I’m struggling with my executive function right now.
Click to expand...

I know you're upset and frustrated. Please ignore jerks who say mean things to you like you look like Mr. Burns. They WANT to hurt you. The rest of us don't. I just want you to be happy even if you don't get another girlfriend. You are lovable just as you are.
 
@Markness
I also think it would be nice to see you respond more to others and spend more time interacting in threads that someone else created.

If you had a girlfriend, what would you talk to her about? How would you show her you support her? How would you learn about her interests and thoughts? You can practice those things here with forum folk. Conversation skills. Instead of just sharing your unhappy feelings and worries.
 
Markness said:
Mary Terry said:
Markness - people get burned out and tired of reading the same things you post over and over, year after year. They offer suggestions and sympathy and ask questions to further try to help you, all of which you basically ignore. It's sympathy fatigue by other people.

Can you see that you're wrong when you think people are being mean to you when they ignore your posts? You ignore the vast majority of other people's posts seeking help here but you don't consider yourself to be detractors of them or being mean to them when you ignore them.

Why should someone who does exactly what you do be characterized by you as detractors or being mean to you? They can just claim that you're a detractor and being mean to them.
Click to expand...
I wish I could post about finally having love come into my life; I get upset when the year passes and it doesn’t happen despite my efforts. It hasn’t helped that this year someone outside here went out of his way to say that I looked like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons just for having a receding hairline, claimed I am actually 40 instead of 35, and he boasted about having a girlfriend to me while I do not.
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Why do you evade questions with unrelated answers?
 
Markness,

I don't have much to add to what's been said here other than that I'd like to see you take steps to engage in pragmatic optimism. Taking little, but realistic and measurable steps towards whatever may help you get closer to whatever your goals and dreams are. Steps which you can accomplish and which others can celebrate with you. And there are many here who would be glad to celebrate your successes.
 
tree said:
I expect because he has no answers related to the questions.
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I might modify that - no answers that would require him to make a change or induce his ego to admit fault, even in the smallest way.

For my part, I've decided that when I read his posts, there is a higher probability of success in praying for him rather than writing any response.
 
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