Still struggling to socialize

[Masked Man]

To add to my last post: Additionally I think the reason she offered a vasectomy is probably because if you did happen to have a child, she would ultimately be the one financially responsible for the child (I'm not certain about that though, I could be wrong). So the birth control is insurance to prevent that from happening.

 

[Markness]

To add to my last post: Additionally I think the reason she offered a vasectomy is probably because if you did happen to have a child, she would ultimately be the one financially responsible for the child (I'm not certain about that though, I could be wrong). So the birth control is insurance to prevent that from happening.

It’s not that at all. My mother and father just regretted having children together so they attempted to impose their views on my siblings and I. They are quite happy to pay for my siblings’ children.

 

[Markness]

My mum used to say I wouldn't be able to cope with a relationship. When she saw that I could, she admitted she was wrong.
Your parents may be wrong too and one day you'll be able to prove them wrong.

I wish to prove them wrong because they think autistic people should never be parents no matter how well they function.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think your parents may need to be educated lol.

 

[Masked Man]

It’s not that at all. My mother and father just regretted having children together so they attempted to impose their views on my siblings and I. They are quite happy to pay for my siblings’ children.

I suppose that's possible although. However, when you say they pay for your siblings children, how do you mean? Are they the legal guardians of their grandkids? The grandkids live with them and they provide for them financially?

 

[Misty Avich]

He probably means they're funding his sibling's children.

 

[Masked Man]

I wish to prove them wrong because they think autistic people should never be parents no matter how well they function.

I absolutely agree with this statement. If an autistic person is fully functional, financially independent, and able to provide a secure living environment for potential offspring, there is no reason why someone with autism should not have a family. You absolutely should prove them wrong by getting your own place and moving out. Show them they are wrong.

 

[Misty Avich]

Lots of people on the spectrum do have successful relationships and manage to bring up children. It even seems common among autistic people to drive (but NOT shaming anyone who doesn't drive, as we all have different circumstances).

My mum knew a woman whose husband had high-functioning autism, and they had 5 children together and stayed happily married. He was a good father to his children. He didn't really have any friends or a social life, so he devoted a lot of his time on his children.

 

[Masked Man]

Lots of people on the spectrum do have successful relationships and manage to bring up children. It even seems common among autistic people to drive (but NOT shaming anyone who doesn't drive, as we all have different circumstances).

My mum knew a woman whose husband had high-functioning autism, and they had 5 children together and stayed happily married. He was a good father to his children. He didn't really have any friends or a social life, so he devoted a lot of his time on his children.

Exactly, the way to "prove them wrong" is to actually go through the needed steps, and do it.

 

[Rodafina]

Exactly, the way to "prove them wrong" is to actually go through the needed steps, and do it.

I still wonder if the mindset of proving others wrong is helpful though. The actions may be helpful, but the intention needs to be’s for self improvement and the self-fulfillment of desires in life. I think getting attached to proving people wrong, even if it pushes us in a good direction, is that the motivation is extrinsic.

Finding the intrinsic motivation to acquire that which we want in life might be a more fulfilling path than to avenge the negative ideas that others may have about us.

 

[Masked Man]

I still wonder if the mindset of proving others wrong is helpful though. The actions may be helpful, but the intention needs to be’s for self improvement and the self-fulfillment of desires in life. I think getting attached to proving people wrong, even if it pushes us in a good direction, is that the motivation is extrinsic.

Finding the intrinsic motivation to acquire that which we want in life might be a more fulfilling path than to avenge the negative ideas that others may have about us.

I see your point and I agree with you, but I think while the initial thought can be viewed as negative, it often can be harnessed and used ultimately for good. What comes to mind is the weight loss that often happens when some people get divorced as a sort of payback to the former spouse, ultimately it can lead to improved health and a healthier mindset (if done correctly of course).

 

[Markness]

I think your parents may need to be educated lol.

You’d think that they would be since both of them are doctors.

 

[tree]

They are educated within their fields of specialization.

That doesn't mean they necessarily know much about other subjects.

 

[Masked Man]

I work with doctors, I can tell you that is true. Some of them excel in their field and yet have horrible bedside manners. Lucky for them, no one hires them for their bedside manner.

 

[Markness]

He probably means they're funding his sibling's children.

They paid the child support for them until my siblings married their spouses. They still spoil them by buying them stuff constantly and do whatever they can to impose their outlooks on life onto them.

 

[Masked Man]

They paid the child support for them until my siblings married their spouses. They still spoil them by buying them stuff constantly and do whatever they can to impose their outlooks on life onto them.

Okay that's fair enough if they can afford it then why not? It helps the single parent get back on their feet. And spoiling grandkids is what grandparents do. Why would that be wrong?

 

[Masked Man]

...do whatever they can to impose their outlooks on life onto them.

I don't understand what this means. Like what? How are they imposing their outlooks on life upon them? And why would that be a bad thing?

 

[AspieChris]

Lots of people on the spectrum do have successful relationships and manage to bring up children. It even seems common among autistic people to drive (but NOT shaming anyone who doesn't drive, as we all have different circumstances).

My mum knew a woman whose husband had high-functioning autism, and they had 5 children together and stayed happily married. He was a good father to his children. He didn't really have any friends or a social life, so he devoted a lot of his time on his children.

I have “High Functioning Autism”. 270K Miles on my car that I bought new in 1999. I drive a large van at work, my job of 32 years. House, wife, child. And I live in one of the largest cities in the world with the absolute worst traffic. And I have not had a traffic citation in at least a decade, or an accident in 25 years.

It’s been a bumpy ride but the diagnosis isn’t a death sentence. It’s really a question of what you want and how hard you’re willing to work to get it.

Doing anything to prove others wrong only works if it doesn’t involve or hurt anyone else. Having a child or getting married could fail and ruin someone else’s life. It’s a bit of a chance that isn’t fair to the other person. Getting a college degree or climbing Mt Everest is a much better goal because if it doesn’t work out, the only person who might be affected is yourself.

 

[Masked Man]

Doing anything to prove others wrong only works if it doesn’t involve or hurt anyone else. Having a child or getting married could fail and ruin someone else’s life. It’s a bit of a chance that isn’t fair to the other person. Getting a college degree or climbing Mt Everest is a much better goal because if it doesn’t work out, the only person who might be affected is yourself.

This is an excellent point you've made here, thanks

 

[Misty Avich]

I didn't say to only find a girlfriend and have a child just to prove his parents wrong, I just meant that he's more capable than what his parents think and so if he was to find a girlfriend and have a child (because that's what he wants to do) then it would prove them wrong.