Unsolicited comments (of any sort)

[umbrellabeach]

Exactly! I would have liked to give this observation alone more than just a "like", but the system won't allow it

Even though I am male, I can actually relate to what you say here. There really are a lot of creepy people out there who, for no discernible reason, will just stare or make some silly comment to try to start a conversation. Sometimes the way they stare is really odd too, like they've just seen an alien or ghost. To me it will usually happen in a shopping centre, and I will just be weaving my way through the crowd, when I will notice some stranger following my movements with their gaze. It is not only really creepy, but rude too.

If that ever happens to me, and it's not a kid, I will stop in my tracks and stare back as hard as I can until they get uncomfortable and look away. (IF they do.)

 

[umbrellabeach]

Here's me with my hair up and no makeup. Just out of curiosity, how old do you guys think I look?

 

[Judge]

Here's me with my hair up and no makeup. Just out of curiosity, how old do you guys think I look?

Looks good. You may be right about the pigtails...but only you can know for sure. Hopefully they'll stop picking on you.

 

[Astroganga]

You look about 25 with your hair in this style

 

[Flinty]

I agree. Recently I had a new thought about this - I don't understand why people seek out innocent, naive people and then try to destroy them by bullying them one way or another. I don't understand why it's apparently so hard to be nice to people who haven't done anything wrong.

These people miss junior high school.

 

[umbrellabeach]

You look about 25 with your hair in this style

25, really? That's three years older than I am.
I just wonder if customers would agree...

 

[Maelstrom]

25, really? That's three years older than I am.
I just wonder if customers would agree...

I think with the hair up you look your age.
Why is the unasked for comments so upsetting?
Did something bad happen to you before?
Or do you just not like being surprised with unexpected social engagements you aren't ready for?

I hate surprises my self, as they knock my mental patterns off balance, but I make a effort to be kind and friendly if it is possible. Sometimes things just go sideways and leaving the room is a good idea.

 

[Mr Allen]

When I was first diagnosed as an Aspie, a few months later I started researching it on-line to find employment in Sheffield, England plus other Autism related services, I signed up to various forums including Sheffield Forum, and when the local morons found out I have AS, I was accused, particularly by Americans, of being retarded and they said I lived in a Bubble, which they'd come and pop.

I've had issues with Americans ever since, I also strongly disagree with American Politics.

 

[Astroganga]

25, really? That's three years older than I am.
I just wonder if customers would agree...

Just judging by your picture, of course demeanour and body language and so on play a part as well.

 

[wanderer03]

When I was first diagnosed as an Aspie, a few months later I started researching it on-line to find employment in Sheffield, England plus other Autism related services, I signed up to various forums including Sheffield Forum, and when the local morons found out I have AS, I was accused, particularly by Americans, of being retarded and they said I lived in a Bubble, which they'd come and pop.

I've had issues with Americans ever since, I also strongly disagree with American Politics.

I would caution against stereotyping. The internet can be a playground for unhappy people to vent and misbehave. I'm an American and a decent person. There are many others like myself. Not all Americans are right wing political nuts either. I could also say that I disagree with the London approach to public safety which is to spy on everyone.

 

[Astroganga]

I would caution against stereotyping. The internet can be a playground for unhappy people to vent and misbehave. I'm an American and a decent person. There are many others like myself. Not all Americans are right wing political nuts either. I could also say that I disagree with the London approach to public safety which is to spy on everyone.

I don't think Rich intended to stereotype, but we have a huge problem of trolls mercilessly hounding people on uk pages on facebook, twitter and uk forums, the majority of these trolls are from the US, just the way it is. They will often pretend they are from here but it doesn't take much to find they are from the US as they are usually too foolish to put a fake location on their profile.

 

[Maelstrom]

When I was first diagnosed as an Aspie, a few months later I started researching it on-line to find employment in Sheffield, England plus other Autism related services, I signed up to various forums including Sheffield Forum, and when the local morons found out I have AS, I was accused, particularly by Americans, of being retarded and they said I lived in a Bubble, which they'd come and pop.

I've had issues with Americans ever since, I also strongly disagree with American Politics.

I don't understand why some one would say things like that. I think some evil people like using the internet to pick on others, it is a dangerous game they play sooner or later they will go too far or pick on the wrong person and have real life show up to take a big bite out of their backsides.

I will admit politics in the U.S. is really messed up right now, but outsiders don't really understand the cultural and religious differences in America....the West is nothing like England at all, things that work out here would not work in your countries we are different people.

Autism has nothing to do with I.Q. I am likely 2 or 3 times as smart as those creeps who bothered you.

My best wishes to you in life Rich Allen ,Maelstrom

 

[umbrellabeach]

I think with the hair up you look your age.
Why is the unasked for comments so upsetting?
Did something bad happen to you before?
Or do you just not like being surprised with unexpected social engagements you aren't ready for?

I hate surprises my self, as they knock my mental patterns off balance, but I make a effort to be kind and friendly if it is possible. Sometimes things just go sideways and leaving the room is a good idea.

It's because they're usually teasing and disrespectful, like the "milkmaid" comment I got the other day. And they draw unwanted attention. It makes me feel like a toy.

 

[Maelstrom]

It's because they're usually teasing and disrespectful, like the "milkmaid" comment I got the other day. And they draw unwanted attention. It makes me feel like a toy.

Okay I understand...calling you a milkmaid is maybe going too far...it could be a compliment too tho if one thought milkmaids were cute.
Sometimes teasing is a form of breaking the ice to make friends, but strangers doing it to you in the store maybe is not so good, they don't know you well enough to be saying such things.
Anyways if you don't like that sort of banter they should stop....or it becomes harassment.

Sometimes the flat aspie face is taken as sadness by NTs they may be just expressing worry for your happiness on that....just say I'm fine this is just how I am...to the smile comments.

 

[Judge]

BINGO! It's the Milkmaid comment! Funny..even at my age I haven't heard that one in years. That's one comment which directly ties into the pigtails. Yeah...this has nothing to do with Hipsters.

Changing her hairstyle as she already has just might neutralize further unwelcome comments...which frankly could range from everything from friendliness to lecherous. I cringe for anyone being forced to ponder such distinctions.

"How to Get the Milkmaid Braid Right Off the Golden Globes Red Carpet"

http://www.popsugar.com/beauty/photo-gallery/36555399/image/36555403/Step-3-Pigtails

Are pigtails a bad idea at 18? Beats me. I once had a girlfriend with very long blonde hair well past her waist at 40. And yes, it drew plenty of unsolicited attention from the guys.

 

[Maelstrom]

BINGO! It's the Milkmaid comment! Funny..even at my age I haven't heard that one in years. That's one comment which directly ties into the pigtails. Yeah...this has nothing to do with Hipsters.

Changing her hairstyle as she already has just might neutralize further unwelcome comments...which frankly could range from everything from friendliness to lecherous. I cringe for anyone being forced to ponder such distinctions.

"How to Get the Milkmaid Braid Right Off the Golden Globes Red Carpet"

http://www.popsugar.com/beauty/photo-gallery/36555399/image/36555403/Step-3-Pigtails

Are pigtails a bad idea at 18? Beats me. I once had a girlfriend with very long blonde hair well past her waste at 40. And yes, it drew plenty of attention from the guys.

Yeah! the long hair, ponytails, pig tails, braids, all sort of translate into hotness on a girl regardless of age. Some really delicate ladies get away with the short hair, but anything above the shoulder for me starts getting hotness points taken away.

umbrellabeach ,is quiet pretty, but my feeling is she just wants to be left alone presently. It is sort of normal for autistics at her age, most of us don't start looking for love until late 30s or 40s. I ignored most of the girls throwing themselves at me at her age, some even offered to sleep with me up front and were quite offended when I passed on it. It was likely a good thing I did, I was not ready for all the stresses of raising family and would have crashed and burned.

Now is different for me, I feel the black cloud of autism is lifting a bit for me, so I wouldn't mind finding a wife...but now all the ladies my age look old like my mother or something...you can't win.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Okay I understand...calling you a milkmaid is maybe going too far...it could be a compliment too tho if one thought milkmaids were cute.
Sometimes teasing is a form of breaking the ice to make friends, but strangers doing it to you in the store maybe is not so good, they don't know you well enough to be saying such things.
Anyways if you don't like that sort of banter they should stop....or it becomes harassment.

Sometimes the flat aspie face is taken as sadness by NTs they may be just expressing worry for your happiness on that....just say I'm fine this is just how I am...to the smile comments.

Hahaha. Teasing, for me, will never make friends. In fact, it will do the opposite. I'm willing to become friends with someone if they simply treat me with the same respect as everyone else.
I think when people tell me to smile, it's not my happiness they're concerned about; it's their own comfort, or that they want to see me look pretty (which is sexist). But guess what... I don't exist to look pretty. No one does. And what I do with my face is my choice alone. People just want everyone else to look happy because it's a social norm.
Besides, looking happy doesn't help to actually feel happy. Have you seen the movie Inside Out? Only when Riley admitted and expressed her sadness was she able to truly feel happy again. Trying to force herself to be happy didn't work. I think the same applies in real life.
You're right about me not looking for love right now. Actually, I identify as asexual and aromantic so I'm not interested in a relationship even for when I'm older; people are too much work. So flirting with me, etc. is always unwelcome (though some could at least be polite and honest about it, and I don't mind when they are).

BINGO! It's the Milkmaid comment! Funny..even at my age I haven't heard that one in years. That's one comment which directly ties into the pigtails. Yeah...this has nothing to do with Hipsters.

Changing her hairstyle as she already has just might neutralize further unwelcome comments...which frankly could range from everything from friendliness to lecherous. I cringe for anyone being forced to ponder such distinctions.

"How to Get the Milkmaid Braid Right Off the Golden Globes Red Carpet"

http://www.popsugar.com/beauty/photo-gallery/36555399/image/36555403/Step-3-Pigtails

Are pigtails a bad idea at 18? Beats me. I once had a girlfriend with very long blonde hair well past her waist at 40. And yes, it drew plenty of unsolicited attention from the guys.

Holy crap!!! Glad I switched!

 

[Maelstrom]

You're right about me not looking for love right now. Actually, I identify as asexual and aromantic so I'm not interested in a relationship even for when I'm older; people are too much work. So flirting with me, etc. is always unwelcome (though some could at least be polite and honest about it, and I don't mind when they are).

I understand umbrellabeach ,I was allot like you when I was younger, I mostly wanted people to stay out of my face and space, and that included romance. Romance was just too hard, all the endless mixed signals, and unrealistic expectations, that I had no chance of meeting.

But things do seem to get a little better with time on the autism, I can handle much more people stuff now than I once could. And I now crave human contact, and affection much more, than back then. But it is still hard some days for me, I still am not a NTs by any means.

I wouldn't worry too much about it umbrellabeach ,you still have collage or whatever to finish, and building a life for your self, you can cross the romance bridge in life later.

Best wishes Maelstrom....I don't know if you remember but I'm a P.K. too, so I sympathize a little extra for you umbrellabeach .

 

[umbrellabeach]

I understand umbrellabeach ,I was allot like you when I was younger, I mostly wanted people to stay out of my face and space, and that included romance. Romance was just too hard, all the endless mixed signals, and unrealistic expectations, that I had no chance of meeting.

But things do seem to get a little better with time on the autism, I can handle much more people stuff now than I once could. And I now crave human contact, and affection much more, than back then. But it is still hard some days for me, I still am not a NTs by any means.

I wouldn't worry too much about it umbrellabeach ,you still have collage or whatever to finish, and building a life for your self, you can cross the romance bridge in life later.

Best wishes Maelstrom....I don't know if you remember but I'm a P.K. too, so I sympathize a little extra for you umbrellabeach .

I appreciate the thought, but please don't assume I'll ever be interested in romance.

 

[Maelstrom]

I appreciate the thought, but please don't assume I'll ever be interested in romance.

I am not assuming that just saying I felt the same as you but things change as time goes by. I am not the same me as I was when I was your age, things change with time.
But that is years off don't worry about it too much right now umbrellabeach .