Unsolicited comments (of any sort)

[umbrellabeach]

She insisted that I drink it. For whatever reason, I seem to attract aggressive behaviour.

Wow. Even I've never had an experience like that before. People can really be horrible. :/

 

[Judge]

Wow. Even I've never had an experience like that before. People can really be horrible. :/

Yeah, I'm not a germaphobe...but I'm not in the habit of accepting something like that from a complete stranger.

Translation: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

 

[Xenocity]

Nobody like these type of comments. NOBODY!

Those of us who stick out tend to be a magnet for them.

I hate it when people correct my social behavior when I am doing nothing wrong, because it's not "normal" and/or "proper" behavior.

Especially from family...

 

[tree]

She insisted that I drink it. For whatever reason, I seem to attract aggressive behaviour.

What happened next?

 

[umbrellabeach]

Nobody like these type of comments. NOBODY!

Those of us who stick out tend to be a magnet for them.

I hate it when people correct my social behavior when I am doing nothing wrong, because it's not "normal" and/or "proper" behavior.

Especially from family...

But still some people like to give them. :/ Makes me wonder if people who give them ever get them, and if so, do they like getting them?
For me it's not even correction on my behavior. Just the commenter's opinion. If they're subtly trying to correct it, they're doing it wrong.

 

[Xenocity]

But still some people like to give them. :/ Makes me wonder if people who give them ever get them, and if so, do they like getting them?
For me it's not even correction on my behavior. Just the commenter's opinion. If they're subtly trying to correct it, they're doing it wrong.

Everyone gets them, just some people are bothered by others and need to say something.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Everyone gets them, just some people are bothered by others and need to say something.

Maybe my default reply to them should be, "Glad to know I make you uncomfortable. You've sabotaged yourself by revealing your weakness."

Technically they don't need to say anything, they just feel like they have to. I mean, nothing bad is going to happen if they stay quiet. I wish they'd realize that.

 

[Xenocity]

Maybe my default reply to them should be, "Glad to know I make you uncomfortable. You've sabotaged yourself by revealing your weakness."

Technically they don't need to say anything, they just feel like they have to. I mean, nothing bad is going to happen if they stay quiet. I wish they'd realize that.

I tend to ignore them for the most part...

 

[umbrellabeach]

I tend to ignore them for the most part...

Yeah, especially if they're fishing for a reaction. But when they do it and walk away laughing without even waiting for a respose, I want to go after them, yell at them, etc. just because I hate letting them get the satisfaction.

 

[Xenocity]

Yeah, especially if they're fishing for a reaction. But when they do it and walk away laughing without even waiting for a respose, I want to go after them, yell at them, etc. just because I hate letting them get the satisfaction.

i have no trouble going on my way and ignoring them for the most part.
Grew up with an unstable mother and 4 sisters (not all in the same house).

 

[umbrellabeach]

Well, it's been a month and a half since I changed my hair (which was twice, really; I decided to roll it up in a jaw clip instead of tuck it into itself), and in all that time I've only gotten the one comment I mentioned before, unless you count last week, when a guy I'd never seen before came up and asked me out. XD But he wasn't mean about it, even when I declined.

All I did was change my hair... People apparently wanted to talk to me before for no reason other than the position of my hair. Now that my hair looks different, I'm suddenly a more difficult/dangerous person to talk to.

SO CONFUSING. But at least I know it works.
(I should still work on the makeup, though. I bought two little palettes of eyeshadow and an eyeliner pencil, but haven't touched them for a few weeks.)

 

[Jain Doe]

umbrellabeach
Hey girl, when you change your hair, you change your attitude. Why not try several different hairstyles to find the one that makes you comfortable and comfortable around people? I wear my hair based on the weather- braids are no pressure and provide heat release, whereas throwing it up in a clip wet makes for good curls later.

As for make-up, if you found a brand that doesn't irritate you, kudos. Most make-up irritates my skin and makes my eyes tear up. There are a lot of videos though, and watching them might encourage you to try different stuff. It is a comfort thing. Everything is- you wear comfortable clothes and shoes, hair and make-up is the same. The more comfortable you are, the easier it is to navigate this confusing world.

 

[tree]

umbrellabeach

People acted differently toward me when I wore my hair in
two braids, also. In 8th grade it was finally long enough for
me to wrap the braids around my head the way my grandmother
and aunts did. It seemed ordinary to me.

No other girls, in my grade or in the whole school,
wore their hair in this traditional style, however. One of
the teachers made a point of speaking in front of the
class the day I came in after getting my hair cut. "You
got a haircut. Looks good."

By implication, the previous traditional style had not been
"good."

It was possible to go to school wearing braids and not
provoke comment, but later, after I had grown my hair
long again....and was older....then there were comments
from people I didn't know. Comments on the street.

But only when I had two braids. Nothing happened if
I had only one braid.

I don't know what it is about two braids that prompts
people to take notice.

 

[Maelstrom]

umbrellabeach

People acted differently toward me when I wore my hair in
two braids, also. In 8th grade it was finally long enough for
me to wrap the braids around my head the way my grandmother
and aunts did. It seemed ordinary to me.

No other girls, in my grade or in the whole school,
wore their hair in this traditional style, however. One of
the teachers made a point of speaking in front of the
class the day I came in after getting my hair cut. "You
got a haircut. Looks good."

By implication, the previous traditional style had not been
"good."

It was possible to go to school wearing braids and not
provoke comment, but later, after I had grown my hair
long again....and was older....then there were comments
from people I didn't know. Comments on the street.

But only when I had two braids. Nothing happened if
I had only one braid.

I don't know what it is about two braids that prompts
people to take notice.

Long hair is hotter, also unmarried girls tend to have longer hair than Married women. If you think about it the longer a women is married usually the shorter her hair is, ending with the I don't care any more grey Poodle perm.
However younger ladies still on the hunt for a man are willing to take the time to manage long hair and arrange it in lovely ways, pig tails, pony tails double braids, side framing braids, curls, corn rows, colors, highlights....anything that says I'm trying to look extra pretty to find someone.
Tying the hair back in any way to just hide it, says I'm not looking for love leave me alone.
So a up Madona ponytail is extra work and extra flashy it says ask me out, a down pony tail says I got my hair out of the way.
The hair bun says get lost....I'd rather poke a stick in my eye than go out with you.

So yes there are different styles more popular at times but how much effort you put into attracting loves eye with a waterfall of hair matters....it also affects whether you get promoted too...lovely long hair wins over grey buns and poodle cuts at promotion time, every time.
Looking desirable does open doors....but it attracts more attention too!
Choose your poison.

 

[Maelstrom]

She insisted that I drink it. For whatever reason, I seem to attract aggressive behaviour.

That is a little bizarre, I don't take opened beverages from strangers.

But I don't hand porcupines back for every friendly little remark either.

 

[umbrellabeach]

umbrellabeach
Hey girl, when you change your hair, you change your attitude. Why not try several different hairstyles to find the one that makes you comfortable and comfortable around people? I wear my hair based on the weather- braids are no pressure and provide heat release, whereas throwing it up in a clip wet makes for good curls later.

As for make-up, if you found a brand that doesn't irritate you, kudos. Most make-up irritates my skin and makes my eyes tear up. There are a lot of videos though, and watching them might encourage you to try different stuff. It is a comfort thing. Everything is- you wear comfortable clothes and shoes, hair and make-up is the same. The more comfortable you are, the easier it is to navigate this confusing world.

My hair is so thick that there are only a few hairstyles I can pull off (that I know of); otherwise it's frizzy and all over the place. That's why I wore braids for so long; I thought they were my only option. But I've found that rolling and clipping it does an even better job of keeping it out of my face, while simultaneously deflecting unwanted comments. So yeah, I guess I've found a style that makes me comfortable around people.
I've always wished I could just brush it and wear it down, like when I was a kid, but now there's simply too much of it.
_________________________
Sooo I did this for work, where the comments were becoming a big problem with me, and for a while my mom has been pressuring me to go to church whenever I work later on Sundays. I've avoided church for a few months because people there acted like the problematic customers; always harassing and teasing me. Since I've changed my hair, I wonder if church people would also start respecting me more. But I don't really feel the need to go and find out, because even if the people are nicer, it will still feel like time-wasting socialization and I strongly believe I won't make any lasting friends there. So I'm not going to bother with it.

umbrellabeach
I don't know what it is about two braids that prompts
people to take notice.

I will always be baffled by this - why it makes them notice, and why it makes them want to talk to me. It's just hair.

 

[garnetflower13]

Exactly! I would have liked to give this observation alone more than just a "like", but the system won't allow it

Even though I am male, I can actually relate to what you say here. There really are a lot of creepy people out there who, for no discernible reason, will just stare or make some silly comment to try to start a conversation. Sometimes the way they stare is really odd too, like they've just seen an alien or ghost. To me it will usually happen in a shopping centre, and I will just be weaving my way through the crowd, when I will notice some stranger following my movements with their gaze. It is not only really creepy, but rude too.

One thing about being married to an Aspie, is that we freak out people as a TEAM!

 

[Jain Doe]

One thing about being married to an Aspie, is that we freak out people as a TEAM!

I love that idea! I would love to have a partner that can handle my hands moving in public and be just as silly as I can be when I get excited about something!

 

[Maelstrom]

I love that idea! I would love to have a partner that can handle my hands moving in public and be just as silly as I can be when I get excited about something!

Yes I was hoping my aspie girl I'm dating would understand me better....it didn't work that way with the last one she cut me no slack on that front at all. But she is marrying a Brazilian, and she is in for a rude surprise they make their wives toe the line. She will have to lose weight, learn to cook, and do dishes, do all the babysitting her self...and learn to say yes to whatever he wants. She is D.O.A. on everything...poor thing! I feel a little bad for her even tho...there is tons of Karma in this, She gutted me like a fish!

I hope things work out with my new aspie she is much nicer, cuter, and I can help her with her issues, and she is good at a few things I struggle with....as a team I think we could have a nice life together.

 

[watersprite]

Long hair is hotter, also unmarried girls tend to have longer hair than Married women. If you think about it the longer a women is married usually the shorter her hair is, ending with the I don't care any more grey Poodle perm.
However younger ladies still on the hunt for a man are willing to take the time to manage long hair and arrange it in lovely ways, pig tails, pony tails double braids, side framing braids, curls, corn rows, colors, highlights....anything that says I'm trying to look extra pretty to find someone.
Tying the hair back in any way to just hide it, says I'm not looking for love leave me alone.
So a up Madona ponytail is extra work and extra flashy it says ask me out, a down pony tail says I got my hair out of the way.
The hair bun says get lost....I'd rather poke a stick in my eye than go out with you.

So yes there are different styles more popular at times but how much effort you put into attracting loves eye with a waterfall of hair matters....it also affects whether you get promoted too...lovely long hair wins over grey buns and poodle cuts at promotion time, every time.
Looking desirable does open doors....but it attracts more attention too!
Choose your poison.

Hi Maelstrom As an aspie I want you to be fair. I find this sociologically interesting but personally I find it surprising and I have decided to post that I admit that I'd like you to post equivalent hair codes for (each age bracket) of males.